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Capitalism and its consequences have been a disaster for the human anus

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[-] radioactiveradio@lemm.ee 141 points 7 months ago

Just use a lot of it I guess. It's just gonna cost them more in the long run.

[-] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.world 32 points 7 months ago

Except when it's that thin and crappy, some of it's going to break off no matter how much you use.

You can use a lot of it to make the company spend more money refilling, sure, but you can't do a decent wipe with that crap, pun intended, no matter what you do with it.

[-] QuaternionsRock@lemmy.world 27 points 7 months ago

Just absolutely demolish the toilet every time you use it.

Make them suck out that half-a-ply-ass-TP with oil rig equipment.

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[-] Milk_Sheikh@lemm.ee 101 points 7 months ago

I love these false economies that some corporate bean counter thinks saves the company money

Because you see, whenever I see this trash in a cubicle, I lovingly build my own 8-ply, using more paper and burning company time

[-] westyvw@lemm.ee 45 points 7 months ago

They thought the service they hired was the least expensive.

The Janitorial service is the one cutting costs because they are not the ones using the toilet paper and they only care about their bottom line.

Nicer paper means they lose the contract. Capitalism and somebody else's problem all the way down.

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[-] LinkOpensChest_wav@lemmy.one 20 points 7 months ago

It definitely takes more time to gently extract enough paper for the job without it crumbling to dust.

[-] Wogi@lemmy.world 29 points 7 months ago

This toilet paper is less and saving money on toilet paper and more about saving money on plumbing.

The nice multiply, soft booty hole paper doesn't break down as easily in the pipe. In your house this isn't always a problem, there are few people shitting and wiping there, and the distance to the street is relatively small. It can be a problem, if you're a heavy wiper on an old house using Charmin, but most of the time it's a non issue.

In an office building it's a different story. Hundreds of people on multiple floors, with someone practically always shitting. And the cost to even call a plumber to an office building starts at 4 figures for a cheap visit, with the affected stall down for days. If the entire bathroom isn't closed.

So, yes, the 1/3rd ply paper sucks, it's absolutely about saving money, just not on the paper.

[-] LinkOpensChest_wav@lemmy.one 17 points 7 months ago

Ayo, are you the Technology Connections dude?

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[-] slazer2au@lemmy.world 98 points 7 months ago

Think like an engineer. That isn't 1 ply, it is materials needed to make 20 ply.

[-] gazter@aussie.zone 60 points 7 months ago

What always gets me when I see paper like this, is just how much manpower, engineering time, experimentation, materials science, and just sheer concerted effort went into making paper this fucking thin and useless.

[-] SuckMyWang@lemmy.world 18 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

I like how the dispensers roll holder is always too tight so it over tensions and breaks the paper and the elasticity sends it back up and around the top of the roll. Then you have to pull the roll through by pushing up against it at the same time to get it back out but you go the wrong way so you reverse and then there’s too much length so that when it comes free it’s too long and it touches the ground. So you break it off and throw it away and start again, pulling the roll only for it to over tension and snap again

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[-] jettrscga@lemmy.world 22 points 7 months ago

It definitely doesn't work like that.

Even 20 layers of that stuff is still like using wax paper to schmear melted chocolate.

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[-] DJKayDawg@lemmy.world 65 points 7 months ago
[-] Stamau123@lemmy.world 22 points 7 months ago

Ironically scots is now the worst tp you can buy

[-] WaxedWookie@lemmy.world 19 points 7 months ago

You mean to tell me that a company that engaged in red scare marketing is now engaged in hyper-capitailist behaviour to fuck their consumers to make a buck? The shock.

[-] Donkter@lemmy.world 17 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

Op please post this next to your bosses office.

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[-] badbytes@lemmy.world 60 points 7 months ago

When I encounter single ply, I intentionally use three times as much. I'm vindictive.

[-] Blackmist@feddit.uk 22 points 7 months ago

My grandad used to buy this stuff that was like tracing paper. Like a thin version of baking paper. Absolutely useless for wiping your arse on.

I'm convinced he had that as a decoy so we wouldn't shit at his house.

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[-] dangblingus@lemmy.dbzer0.com 56 points 7 months ago

Oh look, it's "using 3x as much toilet paper than normal because management wanted to save money so they got worthless toilet paper that only costs half as much as regular".

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[-] LEDZeppelin@lemmy.world 53 points 7 months ago
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[-] RagingHungryPanda@lemmy.world 48 points 7 months ago

My dad always told me that when a company switches to single ply toilet paper, it's time to gtfo bc the writing is on the wall. Company's going under.

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[-] HeyJoe@lemmy.world 47 points 7 months ago

"We need everyone back to the office. There is no reason for you to work from home"...

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[-] Horton4u@lemmy.world 41 points 7 months ago

If bidets became commonplace, it would reduce the need for toilet paper greatly! Ask me, I know! Got one for $40.00 from Amazon, attached in minutes. Best thing since sliced bread

[-] BlackPenguins@lemmy.world 31 points 7 months ago

I did the exact same. I never want to go back. Though Ill be honest, I have never tried sliced bread on the anus.

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[-] ThePantser@lemmy.world 35 points 7 months ago

Is this that new transparent wood I keep hearing about?

[-] HatchetHaro@lemmy.blahaj.zone 33 points 7 months ago

just pull out more and fold lmao; they can't control how much you use

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[-] Agent641@lemmy.world 31 points 7 months ago

Homeopathic toilet paper

[-] MrFunnyMoustache@lemmy.one 30 points 7 months ago

Write an email to HR, leaving a paper trail in case they retaliate...

If they don't solve this issue, I would just go home to take a dump and come back without clocking out... If they complain, I would tell them they need reasonable toilet paper.

You might get fired for it, so I would start applying for other jobs before attempting this.

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[-] watson387@sopuli.xyz 29 points 7 months ago

Hopefully they realize it won't save them anything when people use an entire roll every time they shit.

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[-] Chocrates@lemmy.world 28 points 7 months ago

cOmE baCK to WORk It's greAt!

[-] Drusas@kbin.social 26 points 7 months ago

This should be against the ADA. Many Americans have Crohn's, ulcerative colitis, IBS, and other issues which make them need to use the restroom frequently. Using toilet paper of that quality quickly becomes painful and causes inflammation.

[-] ElBarto@sh.itjust.works 24 points 7 months ago
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[-] Shard@lemmy.world 24 points 7 months ago

Bidet and/or toilet seat with butt washer.

I mean when you step in shit, you don't just tissue your foot or shoe, you wash it down at the earliest opportunity. Why should it be different for butts?

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[-] const_void@lemmy.ml 21 points 7 months ago

The enshittification continues. Literally in this case.

[-] CADmonkey@lemmy.world 21 points 7 months ago

I used to work in a warehouse that had toilet paper like this.

Funny thing was, it was a warehouse full of toilet paper. So there was typically a roll of something better in the bathroom, sitting on top of the dispenser.

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[-] firewyre@lemmy.world 18 points 7 months ago

It's this kind of shit that will ultimately motivate me to unionize.

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[-] Maultasche@lemmy.world 18 points 7 months ago

The legendary ½ ply!

[-] Crozekiel@lemmy.zip 17 points 7 months ago

You have to layer the individual plys yourself. It's a build your own toilet paper kit.

[-] Masamune@lemmy.world 17 points 7 months ago

My friends, I would like to share a story with you.

August 2023. Afternoon. I am sitting at my desk in my office. The tell tale signs of something brewing begin to make themselves known. After a time, I reluctantly acknowledge that I won't make it another 3 hours until I get home. I trudge downstairs to the less populated floor, as one does. An empty stall appears. I seat myself on the porcelain throne and an epic battle ensues. 15 minutes later the moment of dead arrives. I reach over to the dispenser and proceed to unroll.

Halfway through the standard multi-stage folding process, necessary to create something suitable for use, I pause. Something is different. This can't be right...this is...no, that's impossible. I look closer at the material in my hands. I rub it between thumb and index finger. I stare in disbelief. This is soft, comfortable, 2 ply material! Gods be praised! I proceed to give myself a royal treatment; the cleanest, most wonderful experience! I feel like a king as I wash my hands and return to my desk.

I dare not speak of this to anyone, for fear the mistake will be discovered. Over the next few weeks, I make several returns trips to the same location and am treated to the same royal cleaning. Life is good!

October. I have grown complacent in my comfort over the intervening weeks. One fateful day I make the trip downstairs, now fully expecting to do business in comfort. Post excursion I reach over, my fingers make contact with something akin to sandpaper. My hand freezes and my heart drops. The most wonderful 2 ply material is gone, replaced with the old standard rough, semi transparent tissue that always results in rectal bleeding. I curl over into a sitting fetal position and morn the loss of my comfy companion. Perhaps I shed a single tear, or cry or in pain, the memory is too traumatic to recall clearly now.

Six weeks later. Was it all a dream? Did I imagine the 2 ply material from heaven? I don't think so, but it has not returned. Maybe, against all hope, it will return in the future. Only time will tell.

TL;DR - my office had 2 ply toilet paper for a few weeks and it was the most amazing thing ever.

[-] Koordinator_O@lemmy.world 17 points 7 months ago

Don't you wanna get in touch with your inner self?

[-] Arfman@aussie.zone 16 points 7 months ago

That just means people will use more of it.

[-] Extrasvhx9he@lemmy.today 16 points 7 months ago

If you breathe on it wrong it'll tear a hole right through it. Hope there's soap

[-] LinkOpensChest_wav@lemmy.one 22 points 7 months ago

It actually took great care to pull out enough for the picture. I typically can't extract more than one (1) thin square of tissue at a time

I've heard of single-ply, but this is more like 0.25-ply

[-] bleistift2@feddit.de 22 points 7 months ago

So you need to use lots of extra time to wipe your ass? Sounds like a reasonable business decision.

[-] Feirdro@lemmy.world 21 points 7 months ago
  • typical business decision.

Make policy first, don’t ever measure the effects.

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this post was submitted on 11 Dec 2023
1335 points (96.8% liked)

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