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rulesterbation (lemmy.blahaj.zone)
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[-] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 107 points 8 months ago

Only if they wash their hands first.

[-] princessnorah@lemmy.blahaj.zone 57 points 8 months ago

You jest, but under Australian laws at least, if the ballot is marked in any way other than to indicate your vote, it must be thrown out. So yeah, don’t get jizz on your ballot folks.

[-] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 29 points 8 months ago

Is there a country where you should jizz on your ballot?

[-] itslilith@lemmy.blahaj.zone 24 points 8 months ago

Legally? I don't think so

Morally? Plenty

[-] princessnorah@lemmy.blahaj.zone 12 points 8 months ago
[-] joyjoy@lemm.ee 2 points 8 months ago

Theres probably an entire porn category where Russians fuck the US elections.

[-] Pregnenolone@lemmy.world 21 points 8 months ago

This isn’t true.

The tests of whether a ballot is formal under Australian law is primarily to make sure the intent of the voter is clear. If the scrutineer is comfortable that, for example, the numbers are legible and in boxes on the ballot paper, then it doesn’t matter what else is on it.

As far as I know there are no rules saying you can’t cum on your ballot paper as long as you also numbering the boxes correctly to indicate your preference.

I used to be an election scrutineer. The formality rules are here

[-] ReveredOxygen@sh.itjust.works 7 points 8 months ago

Idk in Australia, but in the US (or at least my state) you don't get complete privacy while voting, just a cardboard thing to block view of your ballot. If you tried to cum on your ballot here you'd definitely get arrested for indecency

[-] Pregnenolone@lemmy.world 8 points 8 months ago

Postal voting would work.

[-] princessnorah@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 points 8 months ago

Yes, it is. You’re right about the intention of the voter, but you’re still wrong. The rules around other marks on the ballot are to prevent election interference. If someone wanted to pay for votes, getting people to mark their ballot is one way they could verify it.

It is also obviously up to the individual scrutineers as well. A grey lead smudge is probably fine. Writing your name on the ballot will get it chucked out though. I’ve also worked as a scrutineer for what it’s worth.

[-] Pregnenolone@lemmy.world 3 points 8 months ago

Show me where those rules are please. I will believe you if I see them.

[-] princessnorah@lemmy.blahaj.zone 5 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

Ballots with scribbles, slogans or other protest vote marks

https://www.aec.gov.au/about_aec/research/files/informal-voting-2016.pdf#page9

Secret ballot isn’t just a right, it’s an obligation. You can’t do anything to de-anonymise your ballot. We just happen to live in a country where making sure every voter gets to exercise the franchise comes above all else, unlike the US. I definitely exaggerated a bit for the joke, but to say that getting cum on your ballot wouldn’t ever get your vote declared informal also isn’t true. Ultimately, it comes down to the Divisional Returning Officer’s discretion.

Now can we please put this to rest, I think it’s a bit much for a cum joke, don’t you?

[-] Kusimulkku@lemm.ee 3 points 8 months ago

To me that seems to be talking about protest marks. Unintentional jizz doesn't seem to be a protest mark.

[-] germanatlas@lemmy.blahaj.zone 10 points 8 months ago

What if I use jizz to vote?

[-] Rootiest@lemmy.world 4 points 8 months ago

Best way to avoid hanging chads

[-] ebits21@lemmy.ca 3 points 8 months ago

Get with the times, women have been allowed to vote for awhile now!

[-] CareHare@sh.itjust.works 6 points 8 months ago

I thought this was a rule in every democratic country.

[-] Steveanonymous@lemmy.world 6 points 8 months ago

Was gonna say not with the same hand

[-] NedMc@infosec.pub 4 points 8 months ago

If you vote with the other hand, is it like someone else is doing it?

[-] usualsuspect191@lemmy.ca 41 points 8 months ago
[-] outer_spec@lemmy.blahaj.zone 22 points 8 months ago

Yes, and yes.

[-] Gork@lemm.ee 4 points 8 months ago

Cum, or lady cum, into the ballot box of your chosen candidate.

The one with the most volume of body fluids wins.

It also makes recounts easy as you just need to reweigh the container.

[-] clevercrab@lemm.ee 3 points 8 months ago

Pros:

  • Increased voter turn~~on~~out
  • Hearing your candidate won in a "white out"

Cons:

  • Even longer lines at polling places
  • Mail-in ballots need special envelopes
[-] joyjoy@lemm.ee 4 points 8 months ago

If you have low volume, don't even bother voting. There will also be drugs tests to catch "performance" enhancing drugs.

[-] optimal@lemmy.blahaj.zone 35 points 8 months ago

if you stopped all masturbators from voting, you'd have like three voters left.

[-] Wirlocke@lemmy.blahaj.zone 8 points 8 months ago

I don't know if I want my countries decisions made by three liars.

[-] slurpeesoforion@startrek.website 4 points 8 months ago

Are you counting people who have never or that currently don't?

[-] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 22 points 8 months ago

Don't you hate it when your nut doesn't have enough force to fully punch out the chad and then your vote doesn't get counted properly?

[-] starman2112@sh.itjust.works 10 points 8 months ago

Literally no one would be allowed to vote otherwise

[-] fossphi@lemm.ee 2 points 8 months ago

At the same time?

this post was submitted on 30 Dec 2023
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