The sad stuff always hurts, but essentially none of it is down to being trans. It's a society wide burden of bigotry and a very long socialization period that puts internalized transmisogyny in our heads. The actual sina qua non of being trans is gender euphoria!

I'm glad I get to be trans! I get to be a woman every day I wake up.

Theres other feminine coded stuff I never let myself want before like I get to cry when my mom goes on a vacation with her when I couldn't before (I suspect it's the E lol). I get little kids calling Miss Terminal. I wear makeup and fun scrubs and dresses and short shorts. I get to whinge about hormones with my perimenipausal coworkers and the ones who've had fairly radical hysterectomies. Even before I started HRT, sex was different than before and all that changed was I was a woman now and my partner (now ex) knew I was too.

You'd probably NEVER be as harsh to another trans femme as you are to yourself. You'd never tell them they'll never pass or that they look too masc. But it sounds like you're all too happy to do it to yourself. It sounds like you have to undo a lot of damage and emotional build up and its probably not going to be an easy or short journey - it's gonna take a lot of steady work. You're gonna have to do the cringey stuff like affirmations and looking at yourself and telling yourself your pretty, as if you were telling a very close dear friend it. You might want to do some therapy work with someone who knows a thing or two about LGBT people - but see where it goes with trying to undo your negative self talk.

Everytime I feel even a twinge of internalized transphobia, I simply apply the exact same thing to cis people and listen to how ridiculous it sounds. Never once had this failed me. Also lies. Lie untill it becomes the truth. That is the key to happiness.

Stop trying to achieve western beauty standards™ and just vibe with the trans homies

I don't consider myself a "happy person" (probs not a very useful term) but that has nothing to do with my transness, that's one of the things that keeps me going and something I love about myself that I wouldn't trade for the world. I got evicted at the start of my transition, crashed out of a new job into the psych ward, almost died from alcoholism/depression/drug abuse. still don't wanna be cis. one of my biggest breaks has been getting to do a DBT course which helped me a lot with emotional regulation and stability, still depressed as shit though. every day is struggle on this earth for the working and oppressed people, solidarity is what keeps me alive.

I think it really helps to have trans community. I can go see my trans friends and not have to worry about being clocky or being different or anything like that. People who transition by themselves can also make it, but it's a lot harder and slower I think.

Happy trans people, what’s your secret??

Other trans people. Like, irl, not some online shit.

Maybe this is a bad take but I feel like people who are actually happy with being trans also tend to be in better situations/place in transition, at least then me.

Also thinking bad