this post was submitted on 12 Jun 2026
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me_irl
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I just find them unnattractive; generally not into piercings or tattoos. To each their own...
Nose rings are for cows π
I have a sensory issue when I see piercings. If I see someone with a nose ring, I feel it in my nose, but like the thickest part of the ring going through my nose.
Same, and it's not something I really care to shout from the roof because why does my opinion matter and I don't want to tell people what to do in the first place, but it's also something I can never say even in passing because of what group of people it puts me in
Same.
Although maybe "unnattractive" isn't a good fit because I do understand that it's not a woman's default objective to "be attractive" to me. It's more just that maybe I'm a bit weird about ears and noses. If you have something hanging out of your nose my lizard brain alerts me that it's probably a booger. My more sophisticated hominid brain is aware that it's not, but this creates a kind of unsolvable feedback loop that's unsolvable.
Yesterday I was interviewing a candidate for a job. I'm genuinely trying to listen and engage with this cacophony of booger not-booger booger not-booger going on.
I didn't say it was anyone's objective to be attractive to me. And it isn't. I just have (as does everyone else) the agency to decide for myself what I find attractive or not.
Thank you for pointing out the possibly ambiguity of my response though, so I could clarify.
Do you decide what you find attractive? Or just observe and notice? Could you decide that something is attractive for you?
Good observation; maybe 'decide' isn't the best word.
We happen to be attracted to whatever we are attracted to... It's subconscious, really, perhaps partly stemming back to childhood experienced and parentally instilled values...
Yes, i decided by observing and noticing.
That's how attraction works.
Im not just by default attracted to one hair style or a specific skin color.
I observe and notice what attracts me and make a decision.
When you say that something is unattractive , it's your personal opinion which you are entitled to. It's fine. We are people, we are diverse.
Im not so sure about that. Of course its fine to not be attracted to different traits, thats not in question. The problem is what we say.
If someone says they find a phrase impolite, or that they find a meal bland, there's an implication that the thing has not met that person's expectations.
People dont sail around expressing their opinion that they find something unattractive for that very reason.
And that's an opinion too. That's fine.
You chopped my sentence in half in order to avoid acknowledging the point i made?
The second half doesn't change the essence of the phrase. If it does and I didn't understand it - please elaborate.
Having an opinion is fine.
Stating that you have a negative opinion implies that something is unsatisfactory.
For the author of the opinion.
And that's fine
Fine. Continue telling everyone which traits you think make a woman unattractive. Its just your opinion after all.
Id bet you wouldnt feel so strongly if they were talking about what makes a man unattractive
I find smoking unattractive.
IMO this isn't a special case. Most smokers don't want to be smokers, they are unable to stop. It's fine that you find smoking unattractive, but telling everyone just makes you a bit of a jerk IMO.
Its wild to me verbalizing turn-ons and turn-offs is considered rude nowadays.
It used to be considered prudent and realistic.
Not wasting my time or their time is polite.
Hottest thing ever. Tastes and smells revolting. Eventually kills the person, but fuck if my growing up in the 90s brain doesnβt immediately equate smoking with βooooh mysterious, probably reads a lot of Russian fiction, hot af.β
Oh cool I'm not the only one, though for me it's my lizard brain thinking their injured and wanting to fix it. Doesn't apply to tattoos though since those get classified under scars.
Iβm ready for the downvotes
Bet the plumbing still works on the lady though.
Literally comparing a woman to an actual piece property is probably deserving of the down votes π
The only person living in the apartment building is her, and it belongs to her. She can decorate it however she likes.
Folks really need to start interrogating how entitled they feel to women's bodies catering their aesthetic desires and fantasies. You dont know that woman- why do you feel so comfortable comparing her to property?
Its literally her body to live in, I'm not sure how what you like matters even a little bit.
And will be shocked I tell you when no one of quality moves in.
Lots of folks of quality happen to like tattoos. It's an aesthetic preference not a measure of character, I know planty of tatooed punks I'd date any day of the week over someone like you.
So far you've really only demonstrated that people who are comfortable comparing women or black folks to property won't be interested in "moving in" which is a weird and gross metaphor. No one moves in. They have their own house. That they can ALSO decorate their own place however they please.
How that random lady whos picture you got off the internet looks is none of your fucking business. Who she chooses to date is none of your business.
Please unpack your shit so that all the people who share space with you dont have to deal with the chauvinism you internalized. We all have shit to unpack, I have internalized shit I am working to unpack, but people around you dont deserve to be subjected to a weird entitlement to what they do with their bodies.
My brother in Christ don't compare black men to property either. I literally JUST pointed out that it was comparing a person to property, did literally zero thoughts go through your head before you posted this?
I do not have words for how gross the choice to post this is
Since we are sharing what we think other people should think about. You know what people really need to interrogate IMO?
Friendly fire.
You have, in this post, concocted a cockamamie, pretty awkward framework with which to argue with other people about your progressive views on womenβs bodies. Thing is youβre using people who most likely already agree with you regarding this topic as target practice.
Youβre not progressing that cause here, very few (if any) people on lemony whatever are on the other side of this issue, you are self aggrandising based on how clever you think your point is. It denigrates the cause by making proponents of that cause look disorganised, confused and ornery.
Its an image comparing a woman's body to property. Pointing out how much it sucks to post something like that isnt "friendly fire", its the only appropriate way to respond.
I pretty regularly see people comment or post sexist shit here, which isnt surprising given a huge amount of the users came from reddit. We all have stuff to unpack, including me. But when you see stuff like that you call it out.
It's a little unreal to me that with half of lemmy I have to argue there isn't a secret fascist psyop any time someone doesn't agree with them, and then I apparently also have to explain that no, people on lemmy ARE in fact very capable of sexism (that is largely a vent in general, and my frustration about the former half is not directed at you. Its just disorienting the range of conceptions about who this platform is made out of)
Even if everyone on this platform is a leftist (which is not the case, there are plenty of liberals), peoples political ideology does not make them immune to carrying the social conditioning of growing up in a society that sees some folks are more or less legitimate, autonomous humans than others. Leftists are 1000% capable of sexism, racism, homophobia, transphobia, and all manner of other harmful internalized ideas.
Why the hell would people on lemmy not be capable of sexism? I saw someone post some sexist shit like literally yesterday. I politely pointed out that it was innapropriate and they took the post down.
Deciding maybe Bernie has a point that billionaires have too much money doesnt equate to having unpacked all the harmful cultral bullshit you pick up as normal in society. Don't compare women to property. And calling it out when someone does that isn't "friendly fire". If they didn't have any shit to unpack they wouldn't post something like that.
Same side? The comparison in the picture was so crazy out of pocket that I was struggling to even wrap my head around what was being conveyed until it was pointed out. Ain't none of my friends making comparisons like that unless they've had a chud conservative phase and they quit that shit. Regardless of how attractive they find tattoos.
Youβre so lucky you donβt have a photo.
Same can be said for you
Now post a photo of what you look like
Nope: Iβm content being anonymous.
It's the topic of discussion. And this is a place to share thoughts, ideas and opinions. Since this wasn't somebody's post for themselves, they gave their opinion. Rather respectfully, I might add. So although we like to pretend everyone is of all the same opinions here, that's not the case.
Work on your reading comprehension. "People who don't like nose rings are pedophiles" is the bigger statement they were responding to