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Its like you didn't read anything I said.
That's cool, because you willfully misinterpreted OP to start with.
The obvious implication with what they're saying is people doing it egregiously.
"Someone who likes slamming things" doesn't usually mean people just using their shit reasonably, it's also not "literally all my neighbors slam things all the time and I have no concept that the cabinets just might be shit in every unit".
It's talking about an outlier.
There's more room to interpret "or who plays loud music" as maybe referring to someone doing a one off thing, but that's borderline taking OP in bad faith.
There are absolutely people who rant about gnat farts, but if you've encountered any significant amount, I'd suggest you're probably a lot louder than you think you're being.
"People who like slamming things" from OP is bad faith. Look, rage all you want. The simple fact is no one will evict over noise unless egregious. If it was egregious you'd have multiple complaints from all tennants and to police or city bylaw officers who would issue fines first.
Asking cops to police noise is bs. Asking landlords to evict over noise is bs. An old man yelling at clouds.
Rage? I'm not upset. You seem to be really invested in this though. I was being somewhat flippant in my last comment about the problem likely being you if you've somehow been the target of multiple noise complaints or if you've somehow known multiple people who would want someone evicted for a basic noise compaint, but this really is coming across as something personal for you.
The only person who mentioned eviction is you. And OP clearly isn't calling the cops on their neighbors, otherwise the landlord saying they needed a police report wouldn't be anywhere as much of a problem.
If a polite conversation doesn't work, and a not so polite conversation doesn't work, and the landlord stepping in doesn't work, then we're all adults and can just be increasingly passive agressive.
Transparent troll is transparent, a troll and unsuccessful.