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That's cool, because you willfully misinterpreted OP to start with.
The obvious implication with what they're saying is people doing it egregiously.
"Someone who likes slamming things" doesn't usually mean people just using their shit reasonably, it's also not "literally all my neighbors slam things all the time and I have no concept that the cabinets just might be shit in every unit".
It's talking about an outlier.
There's more room to interpret "or who plays loud music" as maybe referring to someone doing a one off thing, but that's borderline taking OP in bad faith.
There are absolutely people who rant about gnat farts, but if you've encountered any significant amount, I'd suggest you're probably a lot louder than you think you're being.
"People who like slamming things" from OP is bad faith. Look, rage all you want. The simple fact is no one will evict over noise unless egregious. If it was egregious you'd have multiple complaints from all tennants and to police or city bylaw officers who would issue fines first.
Asking cops to police noise is bs. Asking landlords to evict over noise is bs. An old man yelling at clouds.
Rage? I'm not upset. You seem to be really invested in this though. I was being somewhat flippant in my last comment about the problem likely being you if you've somehow been the target of multiple noise complaints or if you've somehow known multiple people who would want someone evicted for a basic noise compaint, but this really is coming across as something personal for you.
The only person who mentioned eviction is you. And OP clearly isn't calling the cops on their neighbors, otherwise the landlord saying they needed a police report wouldn't be anywhere as much of a problem.
If a polite conversation doesn't work, and a not so polite conversation doesn't work, and the landlord stepping in doesn't work, then we're all adults and can just be increasingly passive agressive.
Transparent troll is transparent, a troll and unsuccessful.
Lol, wow. You just keep going deeper.
I'm teasing you a little about the clear chip on your shoulder, but I'm completely serious about the fact that you are broadcasting that chip loudly and that it's a you problem.
You immediately jumping to the conclusion that anyone ever making a complaint about noisy neghbors is in the wrong is ridiculous. Then your further insistence that anyone complaining about it that wants something done has to be calling for eviction or arrest is even more ridiculous.
Most people just want to be able to be in their house without hearing a domestic dispute through the walls, or without being able to make out exactly what songs their neighbor is listening to for multiple hours every day. The goal is to get that to stop, or at least lessen. The solution to achieve that is "whatever it takes, starting with the reasonable options".
If, after multiple polite conversations, and maybe even some not so polite ones, the neighbor continues or escalates? The loud neighbor has then chosen the severity of the solution by denying the reasonable ones. If you've had a neighbor talk to you about your noise repeatedly, then you were the problem, not them.
You can get a sheet of pads to make cabinets and doors more quiet for like $5. You can wear headphones for your music.
Personally, like I said in my last comment, I wouldn't escalate past talking to them and the landlord. Historically I've lived in complexes large enough that a noisy person could be moved to another unit if the landlord had recieved a ton of complaints, which would be my hope from the landlord at the absolute most absurd extreme. If nothing changed, I'd live with it and curse about it a lot. Probably bang on the wall on egregious occasions. Maybe blast something worse back right up against the wall rarely.