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Fuck...
I hadn't been reading mom's messages. I thought she was probably apologising for behaving like this or something (but I didn't want to read anything she wrote). Nope, I read em. She's still begging me to not do anything and asking if I've gotten any treatments.
I can't fucking believe it. I can't believe how many times I keep giving them the benefit of the doubt in my head because I still love them!
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I'm sorry that your parents have failed you. You deserve people in your life that love you unconditionally and don't treat you like malfunctioning property when you don't match up to whatever plan they had for the life that you exist in 24/7.Oh wow, I'm so sorry, you deserve better
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Parents failing you can be painful in ways that run deep, it makes sense that you keep hoping for more from them.
I know from mine that the intense emotions they provoke can make it feel like they have power over you that goes as deep as your feelings, but they don’t. Those are your feelings. They are part of your powerful self that you’ve shared with us here. Your interactions with them will be difficult, and you deserve better, but whatever they say or do they can’t touch what you’ve discovered and what you’ve built about yourself.