this post was submitted on 15 Mar 2026
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Funny

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[–] Catoblepas@piefed.blahaj.zone 70 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Sorry, original sin means if you die before you’re old enough to understand religion you go straight to hell. I don’t make the rules.

(Neither do Christians, but they think they do.)

[–] imacatnotaman@lemmy.ml 23 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Never fear! Mormons baptize the dead in case they died without the opportunity to be baptized during their lifetime. I love loopholes lol

[–] Remember_the_tooth@lemmy.world 27 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Imagine being dragged, kicking and screaming, into Mormon heaven.

[–] imacatnotaman@lemmy.ml 20 points 1 day ago (2 children)

I don't have to imagine, I dated a mormon girl once lol

[–] AffineConnection@lemmy.world 3 points 6 hours ago (1 children)

Wha was the intimacy like, if applicable? Sorry, I cannot help my curiosity.

[–] imacatnotaman@lemmy.ml 5 points 6 hours ago* (last edited 6 hours ago) (1 children)

Very similar to a young woman that went to catholic school all through high school and hasn't recovered from the trauma yet lol. horny asf but guilty and anxious as hell. and, an extra layer to unwrap due to the magic underwear

[–] AffineConnection@lemmy.world 4 points 6 hours ago (1 children)
[–] Remember_the_tooth@lemmy.world 15 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] imacatnotaman@lemmy.ml 8 points 1 day ago (2 children)

lol actually it was the most vanilla experience possible

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 5 points 19 hours ago* (last edited 19 hours ago) (1 children)

Everyone is so kinky that vanilla is itself a kink.

[–] imacatnotaman@lemmy.ml 2 points 19 hours ago (1 children)

But, is it kinkier if I take my socks off, or leave them on?

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 5 points 18 hours ago (1 children)

That depends. Are they business socks, and is it business time?

[–] imacatnotaman@lemmy.ml 4 points 18 hours ago

sadly, lazy socks and lazy time

[–] Remember_the_tooth@lemmy.world 10 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] imacatnotaman@lemmy.ml 7 points 1 day ago (1 children)

lol...i'm just glad i hadn't yet heard of their practice called soaking back then

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 8 points 22 hours ago* (last edited 22 hours ago) (1 children)

that was a fun urban legend to will into reality. those zoobies will not do anything

[–] imacatnotaman@lemmy.ml 10 points 22 hours ago (1 children)

if the magic underwear fits...

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 6 points 21 hours ago (1 children)

i think one of the defining characteristics of their magic underwear is that it doesn't fit

[–] imacatnotaman@lemmy.ml 5 points 21 hours ago (1 children)

yeah, it was all baggy on the girl i dated. and it smelled funny, but that could have just been her lol

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 4 points 21 hours ago (1 children)

oh gods she wasn't from upwind by the plant was she

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 4 points 22 hours ago

i thought that meant limbo contests