this post was submitted on 15 Mar 2026
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Funny

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[–] dantel@programming.dev 64 points 19 hours ago (3 children)

I like how this also implies those people's kids all end up in hell...

[–] Catoblepas@piefed.blahaj.zone 60 points 19 hours ago (2 children)

Sorry, original sin means if you die before you’re old enough to understand religion you go straight to hell. I don’t make the rules.

(Neither do Christians, but they think they do.)

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 3 points 13 hours ago

i thought that meant limbo contests

[–] imacatnotaman@lemmy.ml 16 points 19 hours ago (1 children)

Never fear! Mormons baptize the dead in case they died without the opportunity to be baptized during their lifetime. I love loopholes lol

[–] Remember_the_tooth@lemmy.world 20 points 18 hours ago (1 children)

Imagine being dragged, kicking and screaming, into Mormon heaven.

[–] imacatnotaman@lemmy.ml 15 points 18 hours ago (1 children)

I don't have to imagine, I dated a mormon girl once lol

[–] Remember_the_tooth@lemmy.world 13 points 18 hours ago (1 children)
[–] imacatnotaman@lemmy.ml 6 points 18 hours ago (2 children)

lol actually it was the most vanilla experience possible

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 4 points 10 hours ago* (last edited 10 hours ago) (1 children)

Everyone is so kinky that vanilla is itself a kink.

[–] imacatnotaman@lemmy.ml 2 points 10 hours ago (1 children)

But, is it kinkier if I take my socks off, or leave them on?

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 3 points 9 hours ago (1 children)

That depends. Are they business socks, and is it business time?

[–] imacatnotaman@lemmy.ml 2 points 9 hours ago

sadly, lazy socks and lazy time

[–] Remember_the_tooth@lemmy.world 9 points 17 hours ago (1 children)
[–] imacatnotaman@lemmy.ml 4 points 17 hours ago (1 children)

lol...i'm just glad i hadn't yet heard of their practice called soaking back then

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 5 points 13 hours ago* (last edited 13 hours ago) (1 children)

that was a fun urban legend to will into reality. those zoobies will not do anything

[–] imacatnotaman@lemmy.ml 8 points 13 hours ago (1 children)

if the magic underwear fits...

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 4 points 12 hours ago (1 children)

i think one of the defining characteristics of their magic underwear is that it doesn't fit

[–] imacatnotaman@lemmy.ml 3 points 12 hours ago (1 children)

yeah, it was all baggy on the girl i dated. and it smelled funny, but that could have just been her lol

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 3 points 12 hours ago (1 children)

oh gods she wasn't from upwind by the plant was she

[–] imacatnotaman@lemmy.ml 3 points 10 hours ago (1 children)
[–] Remember_the_tooth@lemmy.world 12 points 18 hours ago (1 children)

Those kids have been through enough. No need to sentence them to an eternity with the clergy.

[–] Cevilia@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 5 hours ago

He just puts them in the TV lounge, apparently.

[–] imacatnotaman@lemmy.ml 5 points 19 hours ago

I like how this also implies that Satan exists as anything other than man's ego.

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 2 points 10 hours ago

Unbaptized babies go to limbo.

Unvaccinated ones go straight to hell.

[–] sad_detective_man@sopuli.xyz 9 points 15 hours ago* (last edited 15 hours ago)

Gonna abort my kids to make sure they get measles IN HELLLLL 👎👎👎

[–] JizzmasterD@lemmy.ca 3 points 16 hours ago

Damn. Look at that tag, @s8n! So cool your soul never stood a chance!

[–] Diplomjodler3@lemmy.world 2 points 17 hours ago

Of course he is. Throughout history, far more children died than survived. And as there was no Christianity for most of human history, those are obviously all in hell.