"Become a dragon" covers most, if not all, of the rest.
Really dependent on which mythology's dragon you become. That aside, being a dragon in modern day would probably be very hazardous. Better hope you're a small enough dragon to not cause much property damage while figuring out your new body, and to stay mostly undetected, because otherwise you're likely to end up dead, or in captivity somewhere in fairly short order.
Assuming D&D lore, polymorph fixes that problem pretty easily. A polymorphed dragon could blend into society pretty well, and if you want, you could still get a ride into international waters (to avoid setting off national airspace warnings), fly down to some random jungle tribe, and be worshipped as a god. Plus nigh immortality (assuming aging only affects your polymorphed form and you continue to age at the rate of your dragon-self).
I'm Welsh, we already like Dragons, I'd be the second coming of Y Ddraig Goch. It'll be fabulous.
yeah but i dont wanba be a dragon
Weirdo.
always relax
sphincter prompty unclenches
Always Relax is the true Instant Death potion. Why stop at the sphincter when every muscle and blood vessel in your body suddenly stops contracting.
Takes "always relax" potion
Damn I gotta watch that again
Tsk. Oooo, no can do. We're gonna need you to come in on Saturday and fill out those TPS reports. Also Sunday, too.
Whats the movie?
Office Space, created and directed by Mike Judge who created King of the Hill and Bevis and Butthead
- Drink the purple one
- Jump off a cliff
- Realize I took the wrong purple one
- Still relaxed though
"Huh? Oh... OH!!" Dies instantly
Man’s greatest enemy is one’s own self
-Neitzche. Or was it Shakespeare?
Anyone can talk to plants,it's getting them to talk back that's tricky
just eat some of their cousins (i know nothing about biology) then look at them for long enough and I'm sure you'll hear something
Dragon for sure. It's getting increasingly embarrassing to be a human...
DnD dragon, get shapechange for free
Yeah, it's strength, flight, maybe poison breath all in one and you can go back to human anytime. Dragon has literally no downsides!
I mean... I don't know how much dragons eat
My family watching me eat 2 whole roasted chickens, 5kg of potatoes, and drink a whole pot of soup, all in 10 seconds:
Talk to Plants.
Just so I can tell vegans what their food is saying.
Plot twist, all plants have a vore kink
Probably has the same effect though.
"Eat me, daddy! UwU!"
"I... I'm not hungry any more."
my furry ass saw "become a dragon" and didn't even read the rest
Awww who's a good dragon
pets the said good dragon
These kind of posts always have weird ones like Poison Breath.
Why would I want that? To kill people? Mustard gas is easy to make and I'd just get arrested anyways.
The only reasonable use I can think of is if you wanted to start a pest control company... woo?
Instant death may be useful if it's like the Death Note, or else you'd also just get arrested.
Instant death may be useful if it’s like the Death Note, or else you’d also just get arrested.
At some point an investigator figures out that you're the only person that's connected to all the deaths, however remotely. As the years go by, you've done lunch together a few times and are on a first name basis. Their efforts are fruitless, and they can't prove anything. But now you have an FBI surveillance van permanently parked outside your home, and that investigator keeps coming around.
You can always relax by noticing your body & mind relaxing instead of trying to force them to relax
From the creators of "Just don't be sad", here comes: "Just relax"
I'm glad I'm not the only one who feels permanently suicidal.
I'll take the "talk to plants" potion since it changes LITERALLY NOTHING, and I don't want any additional powers myself.
Except now you're wracked with crippling guilt every time you mow the lawn, chop up veggies for dinner, or walk by some poor little scrawny weed growing out of a crack in the sidewalk.
"Become a dragon" is right there, so why would anyone even choose anything else!?
When my cat yawns I want to stick a finger in his mouth, and dragon talons are far too big for that.
Why would anybody take talk to plants? You can already do that. They couldn't talk back even if you took that potion, nothing changes.
Yes but if it was clarified that you could in fact communicate with plants in a meaningful way I'd take that one in a heartbeat. You could do so much with that. Imagine being a reporter or a private investigator lol. An archeologist could just ask some trees what was going on under them. Dying of hunger or thirst? Just ask some plant what's edible or where some water is. Plenty of plants want to be eaten to reproduce anyway. Ask some fungus (if it counted as plants for magic) what the meaning of life is while you're at it
"Mr Mushroom, whats the secret of life."
"Not this again... another human got high off us and started talking to my genitals..."
Jokes aside, the ability to tell plants what to do would be sick.
Joke's on you, I'm my own worst enemy!
Become a dragon that hunts billionaires to make a horde of wealth for yourself. I'd watch that.
I think the sleeper is "talk to plants". Remember how Aquaman used to be the joke in the Justice League? And I'm not well versed in comics, but Poison Ivy comes to mind as being pretty powerful.
I can already talk to plants. It's not very satisfying though
Fuckin' monkey's paw shit. 🤣
"You can now talk to plants."
"Cool! What do they say?"
"Oh no, you can't understand them. You can just speak to them."
"They also still can't understand you."
Nah, if anything talk to plant is pretty weak. Poison Ivy can control plants, which is significantly stronger. Control plants let's you force them to grow big and grapple people, or produce particular toxins in people's faces, etc. Talk to plants lets you ask plants very politely to do something, but they are still just normal plants, and can just say no.
I feel like all of these are just normal things in the real world aside from become a dragon.
We got steroids, weed, you can already talk to plants, you can just buy a plane ticket to fly.
Modern life is wildly magic.
I choose the dragon one because I can get more out of that than the others here.
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