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That is so much money to entrust to one turtle
Its not money until the turtle finds a way to fence it
Where I’m from cocaine is the same, if not better, than money.
Vending machines wont take my cocaine
With cocaine you can easily obtain multiple vending machines of your own.
These Cocaine Bear sequels are getting weird.
Unlike the original, of course.
Yes, a cinematic masterpiece soon to be on the criterion collection!
Cut out the feel good "not without my daughter" parts of the story and it was actually pretty good.
Scratch that, take out the plot but keep all the kills, add a few more in and the film would have been a solid 8/10.
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Oh, so the turtle was unemployed, after all
Good to hear she didn't turn to the path of crime
No no no.
The turtle is employed; they work for the cops.
That is what the turtle wants you to think
The Coast Guard sure has some funky math.
seized 7 tons of cocaine worth over $135 million
But this 1800 lbs is worth $53mil?
They're just making up these numbers
Of course they are. The whole war on drugs is made up.
it's worth nothing until you realize the gains
That's just a maritime ton
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$48 Million worth of Cocaine was found strapped to a turtle? Incredible.
Crazy they found $40 million worth of cocaine on this turtle. Where could it have gotten the $35 million of cocaine from?
Crazy someone would attach 30 million worth of cocaine to a turtle.
I'm sure there will be an astute amount of investigation on the 20 million worth of cociane floating with the turtle
Yep gotta know where the 15 million worth of cocaine came from .
The cutter Thetis is part of Operation Martillo — an international effort launched in 2012 to target drug trafficking routes along the Central American coast.
In its most recent patrol, the operation seized 7 tons of cocaine worth over $135 million, according to a release by the Coast Guard.
And the War on Drugs™ continues its neverending game of Whack-a-mole®
*Whack-a-turtle
FTFY
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I bet the turtle approached them thinking they're possible mates.
Size and shape roughly fit.
I didn't know Mitch McConnell was running errands for Trump Jr!
From now on, we need to refer to all water traveling drug smugglers as drug turtles instead of drug mules.
La Tortuga de drogas
Drogtuga.
Did I ever tell you the time we found a turtle with $50 million worth of cocaine attached to it?
Wow, how did the turtle get that $45 million of coke?
Not sure, but we gave the $40 million worth of cocane to the FDA.
Next time, give the turt a couple bumps off the coke so it can outrun the cops.
The turtle has been found guilty, and sentencing will take place in September.
These mandatory minimum sentences are getting out of hand.
Turtle power.
Turtle powder
animalsthatgotfiredfromtheirjobs
The DEA turtle !
Turtle. Holding. Big time.
You all jest - and fair enough.. but dude.. this just makes me so sad :( that poor turt didn't sign up for this shit
Did they at least give him a trial?
Steady pace wins the face candy.
On it's way to a cowabunga party.
Michelangelo is that you?
He is the party dude.
He can’t go down with 2 barrels!
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this post was submitted on 21 Apr 2024
484 points (98.6% liked)
Animals with Jobs
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Is it an animal? Does it have a job? Then it belongs here!
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