this post was submitted on 14 Jun 2024
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chapotraphouse

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[–] CoolerOpposide@hexbear.net 80 points 1 year ago (2 children)

God the edible is hitting me so hard I saw this post here and was like “holy shit this is so funny I need to post this to Hexbear immediately”

[–] RNAi@hexbear.net 39 points 1 year ago

Many such cases

[–] sharkfucker420@lemmy.ml 29 points 1 year ago (2 children)

My edible is also hitting. What does this mean?

[–] CoolerOpposide@hexbear.net 38 points 1 year ago (2 children)

It means I’m about to eat the fuck out of this biryani and watch one piece

[–] Findom_DeLuise@hexbear.net 23 points 1 year ago

Godspeed, comrade rat-salute

[–] sharkfucker420@lemmy.ml 13 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Im so incredibly jealous, my favorite indian restaurant is closed rn and I cant get any 😔

[–] Nakoichi@hexbear.net 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

imma go down town and find the mushroom chocolate lady. Yall need to get on my level.

[–] anarchoilluminati@hexbear.net 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I thought this was a sexual thing at first.

[–] the_itsb@hexbear.net 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

you've never "found the mushroom chocolate lady"?

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[–] AcidSmiley@hexbear.net 52 points 1 year ago (1 children)

This is bait, Germans are annoyingly obsessed with baked goods (or i guess boiled in that case) and ofc you can get bagles here.

[–] dead@hexbear.net 50 points 1 year ago (1 children)

The joke is that bagels were invented by Jewish people from Poland and Germany is Nazis. When I google 'german bagels', every website and reddit post that I see says that bagels are rare in Germany.

[–] SorosFootSoldier@hexbear.net 45 points 1 year ago

Mom said we can't have any, too spicy.

[–] lil_tank@lemmygrad.ml 28 points 1 year ago (16 children)

I don't understand bagels actually. Why put a whole in a sandwich?? It's just worse ergonomics than a regular sandwich! I'm sure it's some capitalist shenanigans to trick people into thinking it's cool and containing more food than it actually does

[–] Rom@hexbear.net 42 points 1 year ago (2 children)

idk but everything bagels with cream cheese are fucking delicious

[–] viva_la_juche@hexbear.net 33 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Come and take it commies

This post made by bagel gang

[–] Antiwork@hexbear.net 8 points 1 year ago

Yes vegan-v cream cheese

[–] RNAi@hexbear.net 36 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

A hole going thru the part that would be the furtherst away from the heat makes the whole thing to cook faster, allowing more production with the same capital and labor and shit, so, yeah

But it would made sense from a comunist planning perspective too, cuz it's more energy and labor efficient

[–] davel@hexbear.net 14 points 1 year ago (1 children)

More quickly and more evenly: you don’t end up with an overcooked outside and undercooked center.

[–] Vncredleader@hexbear.net 6 points 1 year ago

Making it way more efficient. Its funny how when you look into things you find human ingenuity and not just "eh capitalists probably did it for no reason".

[–] TheDoctor@hexbear.net 36 points 1 year ago

Ring shaped bread predates capitalism by at least 300 years. It’s just more efficient to make in certain cases.

[–] DefinitelyNotAPhone@hexbear.net 36 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Bagels are boiled before they're baked, which gives them a chewier texture that toasts really well. It's an entirely different thing to just regular toast or bread.

Source: AYYY I'M WALKIN' HYEER

[–] GalaxyBrain@hexbear.net 14 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Agreed

Souece: AHHHHH! JE MARCHE ICI, CALICE TABERNAK!

[–] Mindfury@hexbear.net 10 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] GalaxyBrain@hexbear.net 11 points 1 year ago

Montreal is a hell of a place. One of my favorite events was drinking in a park and this older lady comes up to us and says 'Ahllo, ave you seen my son? Eeh eez dis tall. Eeh ahs mo-awk. And eeh ees on PCP. Non? Ah, merci! Anarchie!'

[–] iridaniotter@hexbear.net 35 points 1 year ago

Well you know how when you take a bite, cream cheese comes out of the sides and ruins the sandwich? The hole is there so it can escape in even more directions. i-think-that

[–] davel@hexbear.net 27 points 1 year ago

A bagel is not a sandwich and you suck at topology.

[–] emizeko@hexbear.net 23 points 1 year ago

it's so bagel salesmen can string them around their necks before walking to the marketplace

[–] GalaxyBrain@hexbear.net 17 points 1 year ago

It's a thicc bit of dough and the hole is for surface area when baking. Otherwise you'd either get a raw center or burned edges. Also they're not just bread rings, bagels are a different process which involves boiling the dough prior to baking and other stuff depending on the region (Montreal bagels>NY bagels btw). They're not really intended as sandwich material and that's a more recent use for bagels, that being said I fuckinf love a bagel sandwich.

[–] Egon@hexbear.net 16 points 1 year ago

Bagels are boiled, so I assume it has something to do with that

[–] Diuretic_Materialism@hexbear.net 14 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

It makes it cook more evenly and also I think medieval bakes used to transport bread on wooden racks so bread with holes were more of a thing back then cuz you could easily stick them on the pegs. Pretzels and donuts also have holes in them. But I'm not a historian so maybe I'm talking out my ass shrug-outta-hecks

Edit: Some guy on reddit-logo has a more comprehensive explanation.

[–] fox@hexbear.net 13 points 1 year ago

More shapes more fun

I had heard they were made to put them on poles so the kids who all ran around the streets selling them could carry more. I figure a pole of bagels sticking up above the crowd would also kinda self-advertise. Might be bullshit though.

[–] Mindfury@hexbear.net 8 points 1 year ago

it's just hard donut that allows you to put a spread on it

[–] Barx@hexbear.net 4 points 1 year ago

It's fun! You good make the exact same thing as batons but why have a bread baton when you can have a CIRCLE?

[–] FlakesBongler@hexbear.net 23 points 1 year ago

Nothing brings me closer to heaven than a warm cinnamon bagel with a nice strawberry cream cheese

[–] Findom_DeLuise@hexbear.net 16 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Emo Philips bit from 1985

Edit: Apparently he was still using it in his routine in the 2010s: https://youtu.be/xywEDvBTzM0?t=156 | https://invidious.fdn.fr/watch?v=xywEDvBTzM0&t=156

[–] Frogmanfromlake@hexbear.net 14 points 1 year ago (7 children)

Do people here like when they smother lots of cream cheese on? I personally do but know people who get agitated by it.

[–] GalaxyBrain@hexbear.net 15 points 1 year ago

I make my own at home cause I have vegan cream cheese there. The grocery store near me sells it and it's actually a buck cheaper than the dairy stuff. However in my bagel ordering days, it never seemed to be just the right amount. It was either like a tablespoon thick or you could see the bread through it thin. You want like 2mm of thickness.id prefer they go with too much cause I can always scrape it off

[–] Barx@hexbear.net 9 points 1 year ago

Vegan cream cheese yeah. And I warm the bagel in the toaster but don't actually toast it. Turns out great.

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