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[-] lugal@sopuli.xyz 159 points 1 month ago

"The hotel was perfect but the weather was bad." 3/5

[-] motor_spirit@lemmy.world 43 points 1 month ago

that's the essence of many reviews unfortunately ha

Sometimes for gits and shiggles, I'll check the one star reviews for things I know are going to trip inexperienced people up.

Like... It's basically the "substituted flour with powdered eggplant and milk with tobacco sauce, 1/10 tasted horrible but I followed the recipe exactly" meme

Especially anything with DIY properties. "doesn't work, connected to the battery and it immediately blew up" when it's clear from the picture they hooked a 48v battery into a 12v speed controller. Or cut some wires they weren't supposed to. Or reversed polarity of an important component. Or....

And rather than admit they fucked it up, they give bad reviews.

I particularly like when the listing is clearly for something that requires assembly, and bad reviews complain it came "in pieces". READ, YOU DENSE MOTHERFUCKERS

And if you see a bunch of bad grammar, and inconsistent specs in a listing.... Maybe don't put too much faith in the $5 item that would cost $100 if you bought it from a licensed and certified source with quality assurance...

[-] hungryphrog@lemmy.blahaj.zone 4 points 1 month ago

What meme? I can't find anything because it just keeps showing me eggplant recipes.

[-] Kusimulkku@lemm.ee 12 points 1 month ago

The meme is people replacing ingredients with others and complaining when it doesn't work

https://www.reddit.com/r/ididnthaveeggs/

[-] dudinax@programming.dev 16 points 1 month ago

It's probably great, but UPS lost it. 1/5. Would be 0/5 if I could give 0.

[-] saltesc@lemmy.world 5 points 1 month ago

Just arrived today and looks great but haven't had a chance to try it yet. 5/5

[-] brbposting@sh.itjust.works 15 points 1 month ago

Why do they use [FedEx/UPS/USPS]?! [FedEx/UPS/USPS] can never find my house! [FedEx/UPS/USPS] is the WORST shipping service of all of them! Product is amazing though.

-three separate one-star reviews

[-] lugal@sopuli.xyz 2 points 1 month ago

POV: 3 separate 1-star reviews are as good as one 3-star review

[-] psmgx@lemmy.world 69 points 1 month ago
[-] Iheartcheese@lemmy.world 68 points 1 month ago

I can give myself a handjob. You want that fifth star you better get to suckin.

[-] PhobosAnomaly@feddit.uk 17 points 1 month ago

something something Marilyn Manson something something bottom two ribs

[-] TachyonTele@lemm.ee 14 points 1 month ago

Meh that's an old fake story.

The guy from Whitest Kids You Know on the other hand, he fell off a balcony after successfully giving himself a blowie.

[-] Grimy@lemmy.world 11 points 1 month ago
[-] TachyonTele@lemm.ee 8 points 1 month ago

Dude was a sexual powerhouse. Rip

[-] Omniraptor@lemm.ee 6 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

yeah iirc his will asked to be identified as "local sexpot" in the obituary.

[-] dharmacurious@slrpnk.net 4 points 1 month ago

Is that actually real? Googled it and I found the accident, but nothing about autofellatio

[-] SkyezOpen@lemmy.world 10 points 1 month ago

He did fall from a balcony. His fellow wkuk cast members said he died sucking his own dick as their way of honoring him with humor.

https://youtu.be/glDqt6K7_D8

[-] TachyonTele@lemm.ee 3 points 1 month ago

Lol I forgot about drowning in his own cum.

I give those guys so much respect for going through with honoring him like that. Not many people would actually do that after a close friend dies.

[-] dudinax@programming.dev 4 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Pythons showing respect for Graham Chapman's ashes.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ox9bcx_LZMs

[-] PhobosAnomaly@feddit.uk 2 points 1 month ago

yeah it's probably bollocks but people of a...certain vintage can't think of stories of sucking oneself off without making the link to big Brian himself.

[-] Slovene@feddit.nl 1 points 1 month ago

Yes. Here's a lovely song explaining it: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=6HQgKGOFHFE

[-] rockhstrongo@lemmy.world 53 points 1 month ago

One star off because the doctor is the one who hit them with a Mercedes

[-] the_beber@lemm.ee 46 points 1 month ago

There‘s an intrinsic bias to never (or rarely) give the maximum or minimum on a rating scale. source

[-] Infynis@midwest.social 17 points 1 month ago

I don't bother writing a review unless it's a one or five star. Maybe a particularly offensive two star

[-] flames5123@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago

But really! In Japan, most people do 3 stars for great service. Most good businesses have 2.5-3.5 stars.

[-] zourn@lemmy.world 45 points 1 month ago

That 5th star was for making his life worth saving.

[-] BigDanishGuy@sh.itjust.works 45 points 1 month ago

One way to get five star ratings would be climbing a tall building, enabling GOD MODE, and then blasting anything that moves with RPGs... At least that's how I remember GTA San Andreas

[-] ouRKaoS@lemmy.today 43 points 1 month ago

Saved their life, put them into crippling medical debt.

[-] Benaaasaaas@lemmy.world 19 points 1 month ago

Well that's on insurance, not the doctor.

[-] count_dongulus@lemmy.world 15 points 1 month ago

Actually it's on the hospital Chargemaster

[-] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 10 points 1 month ago

Either way, it's not the doctor, who's probably in crippling student loan debt. And this doctor looks young enough to have a huge amount of it.

[-] aidan@lemmy.world 0 points 1 month ago

It could be on the doctor if they're in individual practice, probably aren't though

[-] MissJinx@lemmy.world 31 points 1 month ago

Imagine seen the light, feeling the peace and the BAM... an asshole saved your life. And he thinks he deserves 5 stars. The audacity

[-] Pilferjinx@lemmy.world 18 points 1 month ago

A nihilist probably wouldn't leave a review, or would. Honestly, it doesn't matter.

[-] Etterra@lemmy.world 16 points 1 month ago

Hi, nihilist here, and I would have probably left instructions to give him five stars if he was cool about it. I mean I'm not going to recommend a jerk even if I'm already dead.

[-] NegativeInf@lemmy.world 10 points 1 month ago

Here Lies Etterra,

His doctor was a jerk. Do not recommend.

[-] myusernameis@lemmy.ca 16 points 1 month ago

I worked in craft beer marketing for a while and the running joke about untapped was something like...

"Best lager I've ever had... I don't like lagers. 1 star."

[-] marito@lemmy.world 13 points 1 month ago

I have no idea why my Uber rating (passenger) is 4.7.

[-] TurboHarbinger@feddit.cl 13 points 1 month ago

2/5 passenger didn't listen to me talk about

[-] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 10 points 1 month ago

"Dr. Lewis saved my life!" One star, because they wanted to die

[-] Annoyed_Crabby@monyet.cc 7 points 1 month ago

Have to do it again but this time do it under an hour.

[-] fl42v@lemmy.ml 1 points 1 month ago

Beating good old amputation speedrun with 300% mortality?

[-] Zachariah@lemmy.world 7 points 1 month ago

Did he check his whole island for weeds?

[-] profdc9@lemmy.world 7 points 1 month ago

Maybe it was just coincidence that the patient survived when Dr. Lewis intervened. Correlation is not causation, after all.

this post was submitted on 12 Jul 2024
1107 points (99.5% liked)

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