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This is a genuine question, as every time I have an argument about this with someone they bring a point so utterly stupid that it leaves me stumped...

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[-] Finnbot@lemmy.world 108 points 1 year ago

It’s a waste of time. These types of people are as thick as mince, you’re not gonna change their mind because they have zero interest or incentive to do so. It’s a fucking cult of morons.

[-] rayyyy@kbin.social 27 points 1 year ago

You are not wrong, but you stop short. These types are also very weak emotionally. As Adam Kinzinger said, MAGAs are too terrified to leave the tribe. They believe the lies because their tribe tells them to.

[-] cedarmesa@lemmy.world 74 points 1 year ago* (last edited 11 months ago)
[-] Quazatron@lemmy.world 20 points 1 year ago

This is the sentence that I needed to read today. Thank you

[-] Moobythegoldensock@lemm.ee 61 points 1 year ago

It’s stupid because:

  • Women are not some single homogenous group. Every woman is a unique person, just like men are.
  • Everyone by default deserves to be treated with dignity and respect, including women.
  • Being an asshole doesn’t make you more likable.
  • Instead of trying to hack your way into a relationship, have you tried actually dating someone?
[-] Elferrerito@lemmy.world 10 points 1 year ago

1000% this. You can break most of the red pill mentality if you can make the person understand that each woman is their own individual, and that the whole "us vs them" mentality will not get them very far.

I think you will also have a greater chance of changing their mentality if you manage to understand what drove them into the "red pill path" to begin with.

[-] 1984@lemmy.today 5 points 1 year ago

There are books about how to manipulate women. I read one of those and felt sick. No normal man can write stuff like that, publish it, and feel good about himself. Jesus.

[-] Moobythegoldensock@lemm.ee 17 points 1 year ago

I personally manipulate my wife into loving me by being a responsible husband and loving father.

Am I doing it right?

[-] TopRamenBinLaden@sh.itjust.works 16 points 1 year ago

Based and dadpilled.

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[-] ElleChaise@kbin.social 11 points 1 year ago

Normal men don't read it either. We're potentially raising more broken young men than we've seen in the last hundred years. And when the aftershocks arrive, people will act surprised like they always do.

[-] 1984@lemmy.today 5 points 1 year ago

It's by design. I know it sounds a bit lame, but it's obvious the west is not spending money on creating healthy kids and adults.

[-] PoliticalAgitator@lemm.ee 4 points 1 year ago

Women are not some single homogenous group. Every woman is a unique person, just like men are.

Actually I think you'll find that all women everywhere can be extrapolated from 5 shit takes on Twitter, one of which was a joke and one of which was a far-right LARPer /s

[-] jet@hackertalks.com 46 points 1 year ago

If you care about the people you're talking to, belittling their entire viewpoint dismissively without countering their arguments. Is not going to win them over. In fact it might hurt their relationship with you.

If you have the time and inclination, take the argument they have that you have an issue with, and break it down to its fundamental points. It's a good exercise for both of you. Work through what things mean at a fundamental level to both of you and find what the core disagreement is. Is it philosophical, is it structural, is it traditional, there's many facets of an argument that people can latch on to. Having them explain why to you and then why the why etc can be helpful for both you and them to come to if not a common understanding but a mutual respect for positions.

But this is time intensive, and if we're just talking about randos on the internet it's not worth your time.

[-] Presi300@lemmy.world 17 points 1 year ago

There is no disagreement, I just feel kinda sad seeing people that I've known for years fall into being red pill bots and try to act "cool" (like morons) any time anyone disagrees with them or dares say anything negative about that one rich asshole...

[-] jet@hackertalks.com 15 points 1 year ago

Okay you've known them for years. That's a large time investment.

So when they do something you disagree with at a fundamental level, ask them to explain oh why do you support that? And then when they give you a high level answer ask them why that is there answer. Like peel the onion to get to their core issues. And if people's core issues that's just what other people say and they haven't thought about it, you're going to help them think about it for themselves. Which may not convert them but will at least get them to apply some intellectual rigor to their thinking

[-] blackbelt352@lemmy.world 6 points 1 year ago

Ahh the Socratic Method. One of the most effective means of teaching is playung just dumb enough, asking the right questions and getting them to provide some evidence. Make them convince you of their point of view and just keep pointing out the flaws once they start making contradictions.

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[-] PineapplePartisan@lemmy.world 10 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

This also presumes that aspects of the root cause are changeable. I grew up with a guy who became an incel in the pure sense, not political sense.

The poor guy was hit with the ugly stick very badly, and then had an accident that left him partially disabled.

When puberty hit and everyone became horny assholes, he had a double whammy of being a horny asshole too, but getting ignored (at best) or out-right derision from the teen girls he expressed interest in. He was also self-aware enough to both know that he was a hypocrite because he only wanted to date an attractive woman, and that he understood that goes both ways (societally and biologically) so he went into a cycle of vocal self-loathing.

You can guess the rest. Those behaviors compounded and altered his personality to the point he was no longer the happy go lucky ugly ass dude and was now the guy who was just as ugly on the inside as the outside and no one wanted to be around that negativity.

I have no idea what happened to him after college as I never went back to my HS town after my parents moved away from it. I would like to think he is doing better with age and therapy, but I doubt it.

[-] jet@hackertalks.com 4 points 1 year ago

I'm not saying you're going to convince everyone. But clearly you understand this person's motivations. You can't bring them to your perspective, but you can socialize a healthier perspective to them. You don't have to convince everybody to be you. And I'm really happy that you're so conscientious and sympathetic. Probably something that person needed to be less of an asshole than they could have possibly been.

[-] klemptor@lemmy.ml 7 points 1 year ago

That's so sad - sometimes life can be so horribly unfair!

[-] ExecutiveStapler@kbin.social 29 points 1 year ago

The first step to changing someone's mind is acknowledging that you probably won't be able to. The other commenters are right, the red pill is stupid, it's annoying to argue with them, and you'll probably fail the delicate act of ideological conversion. Still want to give it a shot? Great!

Depending on how deep down the rabbit hole they are, the answer is it could either be impossible or it's a long term dedicated effort. First you should learn a bit about cult deprogramming techniques, as while the red pill isn't really a cult it is an echo chamber ie. a mostly comprehensive view of the world that has built in answers that insulate from external dissent. The red pill tends to provide community, some degree of lifestyle improvement, and a feeling of secret insights into society / the world, and it's very rare an individual will give those things up for the sake of something as abstract as logical consistency.

You need to slowly provide alternatives to whatever positives the red pill provides, which while annoying is possible because the red pill sucks. The online sense of community is tenuous at best, so be their friend and connect them to other friends that'll entirely replace that aspect. Additionally, the lifestyle improvement aspect is rather generic and can come from anywhere. Ask them what specific red pill people they follow and provide a gym / motivation YouTuber that better provides whatever motivation the red pill gives.

The final element is the feeling of insight into the world that the red pill gives. This one is ironically the least important to changing someone's mind and the most difficult, as in order to successfully provide alternatives you likely need to understand the red pill ideology better than they do. Nothing a red pill person says should stump you, you should have heard it beforehand and researched it and thought of better counter arguments. If they mention hypergamy, you should have annecdotal, theoretical, and statistical answers ready to go. You should know their ideology well so you can make annoying jokes about how ridiculous it is when applied to real life.

If you do these things, over enough time and done diplomatically enough so they don't leave you for a friend that doesn't annoy them, you can probably depeogram a red pill person.

[-] some_guy 14 points 1 year ago

I've heard it said (by a sociologist) that unwinding conspiratorial thinking requires approaching someone with compassion. Rather than tell them that they are wrong, ask them to explain why they think a particular thing.

Honestly, I don't have the patience or compassion to try to do this. I gave up trying to talk my mother out of her Fox News beliefs and instituted a "no politics" rule in our relationship in order to save it. Best move that was available for me.

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[-] SendMePhotos@lemmy.world 8 points 1 year ago

Oh fuck. That's like at least a level 8 difficulty out of 10.

[-] ExecutiveStapler@kbin.social 4 points 1 year ago

Yeah it's incredibly difficult, that's why the majority of people never change their ideology past their early 20s when they first flirt with several. Add in the fact that you'll likely be socially ostracized from your old community if you ever do change your mind and the evolutionary pressure to be accepted over being logical, and it's quite frankly impressive anyone ever does.

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[-] ShittyBeatlesFCPres@lemmy.world 25 points 1 year ago

One of the Wachowskis mocking it.

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[-] Monkeyhog@lemmy.world 24 points 1 year ago

Life is too short to argue with idiots. Ignore them let them wallow in their stupidity.

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[-] DrugsMcChrist@lemmy.ml 22 points 1 year ago

You don't. See the first (introduction) video from the Alt-Right Playbook. Basically, there is a real risk that even if you "win" the argument, the red-pill derp just gets angry and takes it out on a convenient female target. The energy is better spent finding ways to counter red-pill ideology that don't involve engaging directly with these people.

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[-] Transcendant@lemmy.world 21 points 1 year ago

Look into 'Street Epistemology': https://streetepistemology.com/

It's not an easy thing to employ in the moment. A lot of 'red pill' types actually try to employ this method, unfortunately for them they do it very clumsily and are often visibly just JAQing off ("Just asking questions, bro"). But, when this technique is used to genuinely understand and break down someone's position (instead of a cult conversion / 'argument winner' tool), it's quite effective.

[-] Brainsploosh@lemmy.world 17 points 1 year ago

I'm starting to think that the correct way to address these types of things is with a simple, possibly even loving, "that's the dumbest thing I've heard".

A lot of poorly reasoned opinions and ideas come from socially validated sources, they parrot the opinions of people they identify with. Showing that you won't agree to get along, might work as a counter both to their spewing the shit as well as maybe letting them question why they hold that belief.

Might also make them stop coming to you with these types of opinions, which may or may not be what you want.

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[-] sock@lemmy.world 16 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

you just described all the conversations i had with my ex. blah blah blah "you know i think desantis has some good points"

"NO HE DOES NOT DONT SAY THAT" cue argument about what hes actually doing and that one policy that only kind of makes sense doesnt make desantis anything anyone should be listening to

no its about the kids not trans erasure. MAYBE FOR YOU ITS ABOUT KIDS OR SMTH but for the majority of the conservatives its about trans erasure WHICH IS NOT A GOOD THING.

don't even get me started on fucking covid vaccines. "this study says.. myocarditis, autism, mrna blah blah" "which study" "they exist theres data" "ok i believe you show me these studies" "well i cant find the studies now i feel stupid gets upset but doesnt think shes wrong still"

once she brought me a "study" and the results said "THE DATA IS INCONCLUSIVE AND FURTHERS PROVES THE BENEFITS OUTWEIGHT THE NEGATIVES" and im like i dont know what to tell you this wasnt the study you think it is.

i don't get how people can just be wrong and proven wrong over and over but still think theyre right. her parents shove right wing propaganda down her throat sadly.

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[-] bleistift2@feddit.de 12 points 1 year ago

I’m afraid to ask… what is “red pill mentality”?

[-] Hyperreality@kbin.social 24 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

In The Matrix (1999) the protaganist takes a red pill, discovers he's been living in a simulation, and what the world is the really like.

'Red pill' has been co-opted by various far right movements to mean someone finally sees the 'truth'.

Most commonly it's used by incels and misogynists. Think Andrew Tate and various pickup artist influencers.

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[-] Presi300@lemmy.world 15 points 1 year ago

"I'm the best, I'm gonna be the best at everything, fuck feminists, worship millionaires because they are rich" That sort of stuff. The funny thing is that 90% of people who think like that don't even know what the word feminist actually means...

[-] Hyperreality@kbin.social 4 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Also, the Matrix is a trans allegory/metaphor, and the red pill is based on one of the hormone pills the Wachowskis likely used to transition.

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[-] Zeth0s@lemmy.world 10 points 1 year ago

Ask them to define concepts instead of using catchwords

[-] elscallr@lemmy.world 10 points 1 year ago

You don't. That person is lost.

[-] fubo@lemmy.world 10 points 1 year ago

You can't reason someone out of a position that they didn't reason themselves into.

Fascists and other Frauds tell the Little Man that he is a loser; that he is being ripped off by the Bad People; that his whole class or gender or race are being taken advantage of by their inferiors. They play to the Little Man's anxieties, making him feel littler and more stepped-upon.

This is all a lead-in to telling the Little Man to sign up for the Big Lie.

[-] nieceandtows@programming.dev 9 points 1 year ago

Ask them if they think their mom is also that way. If they say yes, then you know you can't change their mind, and drop the subject.

[-] thesohoriots@lemmy.world 7 points 1 year ago

There’s a quote variously attributed to a bunch of people that’s along the lines of “you can’t reason someone out of a corner they didn’t reason themselves into” — not to say your friends didn’t necessarily come by a faulty logic to get themselves there; rather that there’s some innate values that were interpellated by the rhetoric of the so-called redpill, and you’re unfortunately seeing an aspect of them that was always there but perhaps in different forms. It’s not worth your time to argue with them, and sadly, may not be worth your time to be in that environment either.

[-] AndreyAsimow@lemmy.world 6 points 1 year ago

IMHO, it's not only stupid but completely unnecessary as well.

[-] Hyperreality@kbin.social 4 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

You can argue with a pigeon, you can tell it you are right and it is wrong, you can use logical arguments and sound evidence, but you won't change its mind and at the end of the day you'll still end up with shit in your hair.

[-] afraid_of_zombies@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago

Ask them what they hope to win. You can sit there and make endless arguments to defend your view that half of humanity is awful. Until eventually everyone just gives up arguing. Now what? There is a next day. The victim mentality is not even self-serving. At most it lets you know how badly your life went, but far more often it skews your view of the events and gives you nothing to work with moving forward except a desire to hurt others.

Tell them they won and ask them what they want to do next.

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this post was submitted on 12 Aug 2023
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