Doesn't matter, wouldn't have listened.

Three things.

1. Brush your damn teeth.
2. Spend time with your elderly family members while you still can.
3. Compound interest.

Do NOT enlist in the military. They will use you, leave you mentally and emotionally fucked, and leave you by the side of the road when they're done.

You aren't lazy, you aren't undisciplined, you just have ADHD. get that shit diagnosed and treated or you'll lose your full ride scholarship.

A desk job is fine, and you're good at programming. Don't be afraid to major in something computer related.

BTC is a scam but buy a lot of it as early as possible, it'll peak around 65k. God doesn't exist, the republicans are fucking ghouls

If a girl invites you back for coffee, don't decline because you don't like coffee. She is probably the one who would send you your first Valentine's card a few months.

Delay your mother for just a minute on this specific day in 1997, you will save her life.

Go and see Sasha on this day in 2019. She's going to die and there's nothing anyone can do about it.

Most of your problems are due to undiagnosed ADHD.

In November 2020, you will invest all your money into Gamestop. Sell once the price hits $200.

1. Don't date her.
2. Don't ever start drinking.
3. Turns out you're gay and you don't know it yet.

• If someone is willing to cheat with you, they'll cheat on you too
• Stay away from cocaine
• compound interest
• Delayed gratification is usually worth it

Buy bitcoin.

DONT START SMOKING.

Dump your highschool sweetheart, she's a cheating bitch when she goes off to college. Instead, date the girl you liked for 3 years but she didn't come around until you started dating the one who broke your heart. Though she was late to the game, and broke your heart 3 years straight... when she came to you with that 12 page letter, she was legit. She found and married the guy who was just like you and they lived happily... until covid killed her early on in the covid saga. But if she'd married me, she wouldn't have been in Georgia. She'd still probably have been a nurse, but not there. She might still be alive. Oh, and that rebound gal you dated, knocked up and married after the first gal, the cheater, broke your heart? She widows you. And shit just gets worse from there.

You don't have super powers, you're not having a "spiritual crisis," you have ADHD and you're losing your shit. See a doctor. Medicine is good.

That's it. That would basically rewrite the last 18 years of my life (not that it's been bad, but I lost out on doing cool stuff in my 20s to figuring out I had, and how to deal with, my mental illness)

Do not ever start that PhD, and keep on passing on shit you are not interested in. Especially when others say they are too good of an opportunity to pass. Otherwise keep going, little dude!

Two things: you have ADHD, learn how to deal with it now or things will get worse.

The other thing would be a hint on where to find my current SO.

Nothing I could change would affect her path in life up until I meet her. Our lives are very separate.

I turn 18 in around a month... I guess I'd tell him to take care of himself and keep working on being less anxious, though I doubt he'd actually do it.

Pull out.

All the ADHDers in here. :(

Same. Same.

Don't sell your punk rock record collection

"No one will care about the GED. You did the right thing dropping out of that bullshit. You'll get into college next year."

Incidentally, nothing on that GED was anything I hadn't learned by middle school. I got an 'honors' GED because it was so fucking easy. I'm not trying to brag. I don't think I'm some kind of genius. It was just really easy. And then I spent the next decade, even though I did get into college, thinking people would think I was a fraud because I took the easy way out.

It all changed when I got invited to my 10 year high school reunion and realized even they didn't care.

Don't. Marry. Her.

Bitcoin, gme stock. Start buying now and don't stop until rich.

• You'll survive those few days of 25C. Believe me, you'll wish for them soon enough when stuck with 40C days in spring.
• You'll have fun
• You'll marry (eventually)
• Believe the doctor on the underwear part
• You won't have kids, it worked
• in 100 years, nothing will matter, go have fun and talk to girls. ;)

Your resiliency matters more than your fear of making a mistake, and you’ll never cover any ground if you can’t take a step.

Smarten the fuck up, fucking graduate and then get your ass out of that Podunk town and get a real fucking job ASAP. You're worth more than they let you think you are.

Strive for independence with every fiber of your being. Your family that you live with doesn't love you.

That's why they're dicks to you. They lie and tell you it's "for your own good" or some other bullshit. But really they're afraid to admit that they don't know how to love you... They may not know how to love anyone.

Being grounded for 2/3 of the year every year - when you have no disciplinary or legal troubles - is imprisonment, it is not just punishment. Making you eat vomit is not an important life lesson, it is abuse. A person who openly favors one child over the other doesn't love any of her children, least of all you.

Your brothers learned to love from someone incapable of loving. That's why they are indifferent to your suffering. That's why they only care what you can do for them and feel no obligation to do anything that benefits you.

You can't snap your fingers and be independent. But it is within your grasp if you reach for it. Reach for it with your entire being.

Your dad is reaching out now because you're 18 and he doesn't have to deal with a psycho to get ahold of you anymore. Hold him accountable, but trust his intentions. He's rusty at relating, but let him show you how much he loves you. And use that to remind you of how much the others don't.

Get on ADHD meds. The diagnosis is right there, use it. Life’s better on meds and things make a lot more sense.

invest in bitcoins

Your shyness is a choice, just start saying yes to things that scare you and it will get easier.

The moment I worked that out life got a lot better for me. I figured it out not too far past 18 but I wonder what relationship I would have with my hometown if I figured it out sooner.

1.) Drop out of high school and get your GED before your principal tells you to.

2.) Tell the high-school GF to hit the road. She's no good, and on some level, you know it.

3.) When the army recruiter comes around, tell him no. Do not be polite. Do not offer a reason.

4.) That half a semester of drafting you did in the 9th grade? Keep going down that road, don't wait until your 30s.

tell someone you're depressed.

Don't take life too seriously.

I'm 18 rn and I'd tell my younger self "take care of your teeth, you fcking moron"

Start a retirement plan now!

Also, watch out for that bottle of Jarritos...

"You're not lazy or stupid, you have a rare, extreme case of MTHFR. Get on a high dose of methylfolate, and as soon as Cymbalta becomes available, get on that too.

Also, when you meet [name redacted], run. He's going to use you and spit you out "

I know you're desperate. Do not get credit cards. You can hang on a few more years to be able to have nice things. The argument that you need to start building credit is rationalization. Your friends will love you even if you can't buy nice gifts. You're not smarter than every other delusional person who insists they can magically pay back more than they earn. Don't be stupid.

Go to the doctor and ask for medication. It’s not normal to cry for a month in deep depression and then not sleep for a month due to manic excitement. Keeping it a secret and sitting the dark wanting to cut yourself while your friends and family are unaware is stupid and selfish.

Don't go live with your dad.

Don't get on the motorcycle he buys you.

Find this specific woman your age in the USA, she's your soulmate.

This is a tablet computer. Saved on it is a thing called Wikipedia. You're gonna make a fuckton of money. Use it to plant trees ASAP because we're fucked otherwise.

Start lifting weights and eating more

Not a god damn thing, not that he'd listen.