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[-] sndmn@lemmy.ca 180 points 11 months ago

That's the hardest working "or" I've ever seen.

[-] adj16@lemmy.world 10 points 11 months ago

Lmaooo. This got a genuine belly laugh out of me

[-] FurtiveFugitive@lemm.ee 83 points 11 months ago

At first it sounds like a helluva coin toss but in the end you end up with a stiff.

[-] I_Am_Jacks_____@lemmings.world 47 points 11 months ago

I hope you get to choose. One outcome seems better than the other.

[-] Lizardon@lemmy.ml 25 points 11 months ago

I mean, the outcomes are not mutually exclusive.

[-] ProfessorZhu@lemmy.world 9 points 11 months ago

Ah this is what happened to that old man in the first clerks movie

[-] Drusas@kbin.social 3 points 11 months ago

One of the best movies ever. So New Jersey.

[-] nightwatch_admin@feddit.nl 2 points 11 months ago

Death by snu snu?

[-] GoofSchmoofer@lemmy.world 39 points 11 months ago

"I'm here to give out erections and death... and I'm all out of erections!"

[-] _g_be@lemmy.world 1 points 11 months ago

I've got just the one. You can borrow it, in pulses

[-] eran_morad@lemmy.world 38 points 11 months ago

So what is it, like 50/50?

[-] rockerface@lemm.ee 16 points 11 months ago

The question is, is it an exclusive or?

[-] artofcode@programming.dev 5 points 11 months ago

Those are odds I can work with

[-] J12@lemmy.world 32 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

“the erection is a side effect that everybody who gets stung by this spider will experience along with the pain and discomfort”

🤷‍♀️

[-] ohlaph@lemmy.world 16 points 11 months ago

Imagine being a women... Do they get erections as well?

[-] Blumpkinhead@lemmy.world 32 points 11 months ago

What part of "everybody" wasn't clear here?

[-] hark@lemmy.world 27 points 11 months ago

Actually yeah, the clitoris.

[-] HubertManne@kbin.social 3 points 11 months ago

how are masochists not breeding these things!

[-] mojofrododojo@lemmy.world 3 points 11 months ago

people eat ghost peppers. I wouldn't be surprised if someone tried this.

[-] iHUNTcriminals@lemm.ee 31 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

So... As an American do i have to order these online from Canada if I don't have a script?

[-] candyman337@sh.itjust.works 23 points 11 months ago

No no it's female reproductive rights we limit in this country

[-] ohlaph@lemmy.world 5 points 11 months ago

Yes, but our insurance won't cover it and calling or visiting a site to a inquire will cost $5500.

[-] Wolf_359@lemmy.world 23 points 11 months ago

Tried to kill myself like this once but the spider kept stiffing me.

[-] Buddahriffic@lemmy.world 17 points 11 months ago

It'll reopen after "comprehensive cleaning and disinfecting" in about a week... That's pretty quick for rebuilding a burnt down supermarket.

Though in all seriousness, I can't tell if the evacuation was an overreaction or if the decision to reopen after just cleaning and disinfecting is sweeping this under the rug. Seems to me like either they should have just warned customers there was a very venomous spider somewhere on the loose or made sure they caught/killed the spider before reopening. It's like they are treating a spider like covid back when we didn't understand how it transmitted.

Unless they are leaving the "we filled the supermarket with deadly poison to kill it" part out, which then makes the cleaning before reopening make sense.

[-] Elephant0991@lemmy.bleh.au 17 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

Dead boner in Aisle 6, in Aisle 6!

[-] GreenMario@lemm.ee 15 points 11 months ago

Women who get bit: Guess I'll die 🤷‍♀️

[-] bigbluealien@kbin.social 23 points 11 months ago

"the erection is a side effect that everybody who gets stung by this spider will experience"
From the article, no escape women

[-] TheLobotomist@lemmy.dbzer0.com 17 points 11 months ago

Never heard of clitoris erections? The clitoris is just a tiny penis

[-] Drusas@kbin.social 21 points 11 months ago

The penis is just a big clitoris.

[-] rockerface@lemm.ee 7 points 11 months ago
[-] victron@programming.dev 12 points 11 months ago

I'm not clicking that shit, thank you.

[-] rockerface@lemm.ee 9 points 11 months ago

It's just a Wikipedia link OwO

[-] LexaMaridia@lemmy.world 5 points 11 months ago

Adding the extra spice with OwO

[-] rockerface@lemm.ee 4 points 11 months ago

I am simply stating the trUwUth

[-] hoodlem@hoodlem.me 10 points 11 months ago

By the time the fire brigade arrived at the store, the spider was nowhere to be seen, local media reported.

The fire brigade. I imagine them busting in. “Nobody move! It’s possible you may get an erection!”

[-] GBU_28@lemm.ee 3 points 11 months ago

Penis inspection day is now today!

I know none of you had time to prepare, as is your normal right, but get those dick out now

[-] Jackolantern@lemmy.world 8 points 11 months ago

What a toss up of extremes

[-] BilboBargains@lemmy.world 6 points 11 months ago

The spider is described as a small blue diamond and is often accompanied by older men.

[-] hactar42@lemmy.world 4 points 11 months ago

~~cake~~ erection or death

[-] intensely_human@lemm.ee 4 points 11 months ago
[-] 41ZWJh7Mgg@lemmy.world 2 points 11 months ago

It’s a W either way

[-] someguy3@lemmy.ca 3 points 11 months ago

Confirmed banana spider.

Obligatory Jibbers Crabst https://youtu.be/ZZ_BtZ-5O60

[-] Drusas@kbin.social 7 points 11 months ago

There are way too many species that are called banana spiders. That looks absolutely nothing like the banana spiders we had where I used to live (which were harmless).

[-] nieceandtows@programming.dev 3 points 11 months ago

Delectable tea, or deadly poison?

[-] kescusay@lemmy.world 2 points 11 months ago

I understood that reference.

[-] snausagesinablanket@lemmy.world 1 points 10 months ago

Death Boner Live

[-] x4740N@lemmy.world 1 points 10 months ago

I think death or erections are side effects of what the spiders bite actually does

this post was submitted on 13 Aug 2023
270 points (95.0% liked)

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