this post was submitted on 25 Aug 2024
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[–] vegeta1@hexbear.net 25 points 10 months ago (1 children)

He exists in the nightmares of children and adults alike

[–] Black_Mald_Futures@hexbear.net 5 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

He's wearing his ~~long~~ hairylegs

[–] FnordPrefect@hexbear.net 25 points 10 months ago

good-morning "He's extant if you vote for him!"

[–] rootsbreadandmakka@hexbear.net 22 points 10 months ago

No, he's made the final transformation into Dark Brandon and has absconded to the Florida Everglades to wage a people's protracted war against the United $$naKKKe$$ of AmeriKKKa

[–] Infamousblt@hexbear.net 19 points 10 months ago

Unfortunately yes

[–] SorosFootSoldier@hexbear.net 19 points 10 months ago

They tried to put him back in the packaging and return him to the store but they lost the receipt

[–] TerminalEncounter@hexbear.net 19 points 10 months ago

I belive in Bidenistic Docetism, his human form was only ever an illusion

[–] AndJusticeForAll@hexbear.net 17 points 10 months ago

His dementia is so powerful and so amplified by the media that upon his death even our own memories of him will disappear. The severed thread of fate will lie limp upon the ground and the world will rot on without knowing why.

[–] BoxedFenders@hexbear.net 17 points 10 months ago

The lamest duck in American history.

[–] SpiderFarmer@hexbear.net 16 points 10 months ago

It feels like he's locked up and on life support till Kamala hops in.

[–] Vampire@hexbear.net 16 points 10 months ago

Most powerful man in the world

[–] BlueMagaChud@hexbear.net 16 points 10 months ago

who could know? it's once again hidin' with biden time

[–] Feinsteins_Ghost@hexbear.net 15 points 10 months ago

Oh honey he’s joever.

[–] pooh@hexbear.net 14 points 10 months ago

Did Joe Biden ever exist? Do we exist, or are we just Joe Biden's creations that exist only in his mind?

[–] shreddingitlater@hexbear.net 14 points 10 months ago (2 children)
[–] someone@hexbear.net 6 points 10 months ago

That reminds me, I haven't visited Red Letter Media's channel in awhile.

[–] Deadend@hexbear.net 13 points 10 months ago

There is an idea of a Joe Biden; some kind of abstraction. But there is no real Joe: only an entity, something illusory. And though he can hide his cold gaze, and you can shake his hand and feel flesh gripping yours and maybe you can even sense your lifestyles are probably comparable... He simply is not there, cornpop.

[–] Tiocfaidhcaisarla@hexbear.net 11 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I guess he spoke at near midnight at the DNC and wasn't that bad? Wild to put the fucking president on the graveyard shift but that tracks

[–] Shinhoshi@lemmygrad.ml 13 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Wild to put the fucking president on the graveyard shift but that tracks

Might have been deliberate so he could sleep before his speech

[–] Tiocfaidhcaisarla@hexbear.net 10 points 10 months ago

That could be, though- and I don't know what hours the convention holds- I feel like noon or something early afternoon would have been more sensible. Although I guess they're trying to minimize the spotlight now

[–] GeorgeZBush@hexbear.net 11 points 10 months ago

Maybe he never did

[–] buh@hexbear.net 11 points 10 months ago

He is more than a president. He is an idea, a world-historical hero, light itself biden-harbinger

[–] SacredExcrement@hexbear.net 11 points 10 months ago

Physically? Yes.

Mentally? Ehhh...

[–] Shinhoshi@lemmygrad.ml 10 points 10 months ago

Joe Biden exists in the same way that SCP-2776 can be considered to exist

[–] Ildsaye@hexbear.net 7 points 10 months ago

Sleepy Joe yearns to return to his sarcophagus, for his wake cycle is at an end, and he has obtained enough adrenochrome to sustain his dreamless slumber for another aeon

[–] QuillcrestFalconer@hexbear.net 7 points 10 months ago

Joe Biden is still real in my heart

[–] HumanBehaviorByBjork@hexbear.net 7 points 10 months ago
[–] huf@hexbear.net 6 points 10 months ago

he's still maintaining the psychic beacon for his empire, so he must still exist in some form

[–] BigBoyKarlLiebknecht@hexbear.net 5 points 10 months ago

And I learned that, uh, it makes a difference. This was the diving board area, and I was one of the guards. And they weren't allowed to it was a three meter board. If you fell off sideways you landed on the damn the darn cement over there. And Corn Pop was a bad dude. And he ran a bunch of bad boys. And I did and back in those days and to show you how things have changed, one of the things you had to use, if you used pomade in your hair you had to wear a bathing cap. And he was up on the board wouldn't listen to me, I said HEY ESTHER! YOU! OFF THE BOARD! OR I'LL COME UP AND DRAG YOU OFF! Well he came off, and he said, "I'll meet you outside." My car, this was mostly, these were all public housing behind you. My car, there was a gate out here. I parked my car outside the gate. And I, he said, "I'll be waitin' for you." He was waitin' for me with three guys with straight razors. NOT A JOKE! There was a guy named Bill Wrightmouse, the only white guy and he did ALL the pools, he was the mechanic. And I said what am I gonna do? And he said, "Come down here in the basement. Where mechanics where where all the pool filter is." You know the chain? There used to be a chain went across the deep end. And he cut off a six foot lump of chain he folded it up he said, "You walk out, with that chain. And you walk to the car and you say, 'you may cut me man, but I'm gonna wrap this chain around your head.'" I said you're kidding me. He said, "No if you don't, don't come back." AND HE WAS RIGHT! So I walked out with the chain. And I walked up to my car. And they had in those days used to remember the straight razor you'd bang'em on the curb get'em rusty put'em in a rain barrel get'em rusty. And I looked at'em. But I was smart, then. I said, first of all I said when I tell you get off the board you get off the board I'll kick you out again but I shouldn't have called you Esther Williams. I apologize for that. I apologized but I didn't know if that apology was going to work. He said, "YOU APOLOGIZING TO ME?" I said I apologize not for throwing you out, but I apologize for what I said, and he said, "OK" closed the straight razor and my heart began to beat again.

[–] nothx@hexbear.net 5 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)
[–] kittin@hexbear.net 4 points 10 months ago

He ain’t dead but he ain’t alive either

[–] infuziSporg@hexbear.net 4 points 10 months ago

Think of Joe Biden less as a living human being, and more as a perennial stand-in for the frustrations and corruption of national party-machine politics.

[–] CliffordBigRedDog@hexbear.net 4 points 10 months ago

Joe biden has been a social experiment

[–] Default_Defect@midwest.social 3 points 10 months ago (1 children)
[–] RyanGosling@hexbear.net 4 points 10 months ago
[–] Sasuke@hexbear.net 3 points 10 months ago

Kamala sold him to One Direction