this post was submitted on 11 Feb 2025
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chat

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Chat is a text only community for casual conversation, please keep shitposting to the absolute minimum. This is intended to be a separate space from c/chapotraphouse or the daily megathread. Chat does this by being a long-form community where topics will remain from day to day unlike the megathread, and it is distinct from c/chapotraphouse in that we ask you to engage in this community in a genuine way. Please keep shitposting, bits, and irony to a minimum.

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Since the site's going down, we should use the opportunity to confess stuff (hexbear.net)
submitted 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) by HiImThomasPynchon@hexbear.net to c/chat@hexbear.net
33 comments fedilink hide all child comments
 

I'll go first: I'm not actually the famed reclusive author Thomas Pynchon.

I was actually Richard Hell from Television and The Voidoids, the whole time.

all 35 comments
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[–] SorosFootSoldier@hexbear.net 20 points 4 months ago (1 children)

I've actually never met George Soros nor worked for him.

[–] sharkfucker420@lemmy.ml 11 points 4 months ago

unbelievable

[–] blunder@hexbear.net 16 points 4 months ago

I spend more of my life on this website than I would ever confess to another person

[–] Gorb@hexbear.net 15 points 4 months ago (2 children)

I'm sorry you all had to find out this way but I'm straight

[–] HiImThomasPynchon@hexbear.net 6 points 4 months ago

Now that you're out, the plane's gonna right itself and we're all gonna live

[–] Aradina@lemmy.ml 14 points 4 months ago (1 children)

I'm gay

[–] HiImThomasPynchon@hexbear.net 8 points 4 months ago

See, now that you're out, the plane's gonna right itself and we're all gonna live.

[–] HelluvaBottomCarter@hexbear.net 13 points 4 months ago

It was me Hexbear. John Kerry, Silver Legion, Veganism, Outdoor cats, moving stones, throwing batteries into the ocean, liberalsocialist.

I'm the author of all your pain.

[–] AntifaSuperWombat@hexbear.net 12 points 4 months ago

My first and only celebrity crush was Elliot Page because I envied him for seemingly being a lesbian when I was still in denial.

But joke’s on me I guess.

[–] Ram_The_Manparts@hexbear.net 12 points 4 months ago

I'm actually Barron Trump

[–] RobnHood@hexbear.net 12 points 4 months ago

I am BlackMoldFutures ex wife

[–] FunkyStuff@hexbear.net 11 points 4 months ago (1 children)

How do I get my kids to stop dressing up as you?

[–] HiImThomasPynchon@hexbear.net 8 points 4 months ago

Encourage it

[–] corgiwithalaptop@hexbear.net 11 points 4 months ago

I have a crush on the person reading this and want to smooch them

[–] vegeta1@hexbear.net 10 points 4 months ago

Kakarot is a true saiyan warrior and sometimes bests me.

[–] Beaver@hexbear.net 9 points 4 months ago (1 children)

I'm not actually a sentient Beaver

[–] Owl@hexbear.net 7 points 4 months ago

I'm also not a sentient beaver.

[–] radio_free_asgarthr@hexbear.net 8 points 4 months ago

I am actually funded by the Norwegian sovereign wealth fund and Norway secular groups, unlike the other Radio Free outlets. That's why I am still working after the USAID defunding.

[–] kleeon@hexbear.net 7 points 4 months ago

I like rewatching old episodes of south park

[–] CrookedSerpent@hexbear.net 6 points 4 months ago (1 children)

I love you

[–] HiImThomasPynchon@hexbear.net 6 points 4 months ago

❤️ u 2

[–] someone@hexbear.net 6 points 4 months ago

I'm the one who ghosted you on grindr last week.

[–] rtstragedy@hexbear.net 6 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

my gf encouraged me listen to rap music and now I like it

[–] GalaxyBrain@hexbear.net 5 points 4 months ago

I'm DB Cooper

[–] DeathToBritain@hexbear.net 5 points 4 months ago (1 children)

one time I pissed in the megathread

[–] HiImThomasPynchon@hexbear.net 6 points 4 months ago

All my best posts and comments were made on the can

[–] Eldungeon2@hexbear.net 4 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Fuck, you tricked me

[–] HiImThomasPynchon@hexbear.net 3 points 4 months ago

I'm very sorry 😔

[–] Acute_Engles@hexbear.net 4 points 4 months ago

I actually did start the fire. Contrary to the song lyrics

[–] OgdenTO@hexbear.net 3 points 4 months ago

In real life I sometimes tell more than one joke.

[–] sweatersocialist@hexbear.net 3 points 4 months ago

I've got another confession to make

I'm your fool

[–] Wmill@hexbear.net 2 points 4 months ago

Realizing how much I relied on pfp to distinguish people here lately, anyway just checking to see if anyone had a crush on me. Also I'm not actually a hippo despite what my pfp my indicate.