this post was submitted on 22 May 2025
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

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[–] Tattorack@lemmy.world 24 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Except it doesn't work that way. It's not about wordplay, but the esoteric power of being explicitly invited.

[–] Stitch0815@feddit.org 23 points 1 day ago (1 children)

But it does work that way because vamipres are made up and so are the rules

[–] humorlessrepost@lemmy.world 8 points 22 hours ago (1 children)

Counterpoint: Buffy (the series, not the movie, not the comic) is the only true vampire canon, and everything else is fanfic, and older stuff is from future time travelers writing fanfic.

[–] Stitch0815@feddit.org 1 points 7 hours ago

Mhhh interesting point.

I will take it into consideration :D

[–] conditional_soup@lemm.ee 40 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Californians: "idk, he just kept asking and I kept saying, like, the beach? The coast? The seaside? Eventually he just stormed off in a huff, but, yeah, no, super weird guy. I still don't know what he wanted."

Context: as long as I've been on the west coast, I've literally never heard anyone call it the shore.

[–] frog_brawler@lemmy.world 8 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

Lived in FL for 28 years and the last time I heard it called the shore was in Ocean City, MD In 1997

[–] SynopsisTantilize@lemm.ee 2 points 1 day ago

Yea we call our side the Eastern Shore.

[–] MrShankles@reddthat.com 6 points 1 day ago

Lmao, I was having the same thought. "Shore" wouldn't have crossed my mind unless I'm talking about Gulf Shores. And that's a beach town in my mind. Hell, I grew up close enough to Jersey and have lived near the Gulf of Mexico for over 20 years; "shore" just isn't in my vocab like that

[–] BonesOfTheMoon@lemmy.world 20 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Vampires are from Staten Island and Noo Yawk Citttttaaaaaay.

[–] Maalus@lemmy.world 5 points 1 day ago (2 children)
[–] BonesOfTheMoon@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago

No they're just regular human bartenders there.

[–] SynopsisTantilize@lemm.ee 4 points 1 day ago

No Jackie Daytona is a normal human from Tucson Arizoniia you fool.

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[–] ShinkanTrain@lemmy.ml 111 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Beach.

There's no need to call me names, buddy

[–] Remember_the_tooth@lemmy.world 26 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I would watch a sitcom about the most unlucky vampire who still manages to survive somehow.

[–] Remember_the_tooth@lemmy.world 91 points 2 days ago (5 children)

Off topic, but it paints a grisly picture of humanity that all vampires have higher standards for consent than many humans.

[–] hansolo@lemm.ee 59 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (2 children)

Seriously.

One vampire Dev pops "by clicking agree, you consent to vampires entering your home." Into line 57842368 of the Instagram/FB TOS and suddenly it's a feeding frenzy....

...How does one sell a script to Black Mirror?

[–] Remember_the_tooth@lemmy.world 30 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Dystopian technofeudalist vampire is now one of my favorite new tropes. Thank you.

[–] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.dbzer0.com 11 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Peter Thiel has never felt so appreciated..

[–] Remember_the_tooth@lemmy.world 8 points 1 day ago (1 children)

He's why I have a crucifix-shaped wifi jammer nailed to my headboard.

[–] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Oh THAT'S why? I thought it was a kink thing..

I never said it wasn't. Maybe I just get off on antagonizing billionaire vampires.

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[–] qarbone@lemmy.world 13 points 1 day ago (4 children)

A "standard" implies it's a societal norm they're participating in, rather than a supernatural compulsion they're restricted by.

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[–] frog_brawler@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago (1 children)

That’s because vampires are fictional.

[–] Remember_the_tooth@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

You're right, of course, but you should still see the comment about Bryan Johnson elsewhere in this thread, if you haven't already.

https://lemmy.world/comment/17214940

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[–] ArcaneSlime@lemmy.dbzer0.com 18 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] Agent641@lemmy.world 7 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] Iheartcheese@lemmy.world 11 points 1 day ago

Coast on inside? Don't mind if i do!

[–] klemptor@startrek.website 25 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Doesn't matter if you let them in. Nothing stopping them from setting your house on fire and making you come out.

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 23 points 1 day ago

Vampires stopped existing when a wild hermit man once declared that the entire outside was their home.

[–] Zron@lemmy.world 8 points 1 day ago

Ah, the Harry Dresden Assassination technique

[–] VolumetricShitCompressor@lemmy.dbzer0.com 53 points 1 day ago (2 children)

How does the lore work? Does the vampire need to hear the right thing or does the person need to mean the right thing?

[–] makyo@lemmy.world 37 points 1 day ago (1 children)

The whole thing is vampire propaganda to make the general population feel more safe

Big Blood is playing us for fools

[–] samus12345@lemm.ee 21 points 1 day ago (1 children)

If I were making the rules, intent would be what mattered.

[–] DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social 6 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Otherwise vampires would be getting invited in because some word means "enter" or whatever in a different language.

[–] Hupf@feddit.org 4 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] samus12345@lemm.ee 1 points 1 day ago

(WoW orc voice) "Speak, friend."

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 16 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I'm pretty sure the magic preventing a vampire from entering without permission would not be overcome so easily.

[–] peteypete420@sh.itjust.works 9 points 1 day ago

Its not magic if its real.

[–] owl@infosec.pub 19 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

me: coast?
vampire: Mhm -_- How would you pronouce the first three letters of "yesterday" ^may^ ^i^ ^come^ ^in?^

[–] peteypete420@sh.itjust.works 8 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Well the first letter is pronounced like the word why. The next one, is like the second name of rapper easy e. Now that third letter, thats a real fun pronunciation. How familiar are you with the 18th president of the USA?

[–] owl@infosec.pub 2 points 3 hours ago

Not very, but his name was "Ulysses S. Grant" wasn't it ^may^ ^I^ ^come^ ^in?^

[–] ininewcrow@lemmy.ca 18 points 2 days ago (2 children)

If vampires are sticking to a code of ethics and honour to enter your house than this wouldn't work

You are answering a question with an answer .... not making a verbal contract

You are making a statement ... not giving permission

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