I have moved on to egg rolls.
this post was submitted on 26 Jun 2025
536 points (99.1% liked)
Lemmy Shitpost
32625 readers
4219 users here now
Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.
Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!
Rules:
1. Be Respectful
Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.
Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.
...
2. No Illegal Content
Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.
That means:
-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals
-No CSA content or Revenge Porn
-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)
...
3. No Spam
Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.
-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.
-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.
-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers
-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.
...
4. No Porn/Explicit
Content
-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.
-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.
...
5. No Enciting Harassment,
Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts
-Do not Brigade other Communities
-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.
-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.
-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.
...
6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.
-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.
-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.
...
If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.
Also check out:
Partnered Communities:
1.Memes
10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)
Reach out to
All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker
founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
Just watch me motherfucker
Well DUH! It's summer idiots.
I'm sure you can get frozen spring rolls
My body, my choice.
Doctor: can you at least wait a few seconds after you take them out of the deep fryer next time?
Several years back, I went to the store at the beginning of summer to get some foam pool noodles for the pool. I couldn't find them anywhere, not even Walmart.
The next spring, they were everywhere, but they all included a tag or sticker that read "Not to be inserted rectally."
So we had to go a summer without pool noodles so the government regulators could protect us against some butt stuff some weirdo tried.
if you can shove a pool noodle up yer arse, I don't think the government should tell you not too
SOMEBODY should tell you not to!
you just did, and that's enough.
if you don't mind me, I'm going to get a pool noodle for research
Well, have fun.
Bread 🥖
What goes up must always come down
First they told us not to eat the yellow snow, now they're telling us not to stick spring rolls up our poop chutes. It's like doctors don't want us to find any joy in our lives.
Or give them reasons to earn money while also telling crazy ass stories to their friends and family. Literally.
The new sexually frustrated boomer trend
“RFK questions guidance on not putting spring rolls up your anus.”
Is that him or the worm talking?
Maybe the worm likes spring rolls.
Do you have any idea how hard it is for a brain parasite to order takeout?
load more comments
(1 replies)
FLARED. BASE.
Hindsight is always 20/20.
I have so many questions about the train of thought that led to this… situation.
I know right?! You could fit your entire wallet in there, and they'd never guess the password!
Don't ask how I know this, I don't have any trucknuts..
I reckon a friend of theirs was looking for something real hard.
Sunglasses? Really? Didn't have any better objects? C'mon.
"Breaking news"
Well, I wasn't going to before, but now I am wondering what hidden secrets they are keeping from us??
A spring roll a day…
It's the fried ones that are the problem: crispy = sharp edges = torn bowel = septic shock = dead.
The fresh ones with the squishy exterior should feel much more like a penis going into your ass. Choose the sauce carefully - your entire GI tract has receptors sensitive to spiciness.
Best thing to do is just fry the egg rolls inside your bowels. First you coat your lower intestines with aluminum foil, then you shove in the egg rolls and pour in the hot oil.
If you want to push the spicy level but not have a visit from Satan's eyeball, they make this great barrier ointment called Ilex. Just, uh, you have to be careful not to glue your butt cheeks closed to most folk put some Vaseline on afters. Who knows, maybe they've fixed that but i last used it regularly when I wanted to belong to the nuclear taco club but couldn't get Thursdays off, it's been a minute.
First they invented great barrier reef, now they make great barrier ointment. My God what horrors and highlights, the hubris of humankind.
Yeah probably the same "doctors" that give vaccines and think covid is real 😳
Doctors don't know what you put in your but if you also shove an apple up there beforehand.
they are going that way anyway, why not have a couple take a shortcut
Thank god I'm not a patient then ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
For now
Use summer rolls instead. They're usually bigger anyway.
It's because those doctors already have anal beads in their ass.
view more: next ›