this post was submitted on 07 Jul 2025
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[–] WoodScientist@sh.itjust.works 102 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

No. He didn't steal. He is a mighty hunter. Yes he is. Yes he is! He hunted down the mighty sausage beast, stalked it, and killed it all on his own. Yes he did! Yes he did! And he did murder while being so adorable! Yes he is. Yes he is!

[–] GladiusB@lemmy.world 34 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

That's a helluva tale for a neighbor that likely just gave him one

[–] WoodScientist@sh.itjust.works 32 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

All cats believe in their hearts that they are mighty lions and tigers. Let them have this. :D

[–] captain_aggravated@sh.itjust.works 3 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I mean, to any creature that weighs 3 pounds or less, he's right. If you're a field mouse a house cat is a terrifyingly effective predator.

More tuna are eaten by house cats than lions.

[–] WoodScientist@sh.itjust.works 3 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Well, according to my cats, they get the tuna because they killed the tuna. They are the mighty hunters after all.

My cat just finds the nearest big idiot to yell at. That's usually me.

[–] iltoroargento 14 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

Honestly, if a cat was super interested in one of my bratwurst, I'd give them a present lol probably one I'd let cool for some time too, so it's not too hot for them.

I have a feeling this kitty made some friends, but wouldn't put it past them to snag it haha. My mom's cat used to take all the dog toys in the neighborhood and everyone knew just to come to the door to ask for them back lol

Edit: "if" not "of"

[–] jaybone@lemmy.zip 7 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I’d probably cut it in half or something. That’s one bigass meal.

[–] Zorsith@lemmy.blahaj.zone 4 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Also probably way more salt than a cat should really have, sausages are (usually) loaded with the stuff to not, y'know, kill you with bacteria.

[–] Swedneck@discuss.tchncs.de 3 points 2 weeks ago

and taste good, we need a whole lot more salt than cats do since we're so much bigger and sweat a bunch.

[–] rustydrd@sh.itjust.works 11 points 2 weeks ago

For some reason, I'm reading this in John Oliver's voice.

[–] gac11@lemmy.world 43 points 2 weeks ago

"Khajiit has wares, if you have coin."

[–] rustydrd@sh.itjust.works 33 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

"Quick, let me in, they're right on my tail!"

[–] Aimeeloulm@feddit.uk 15 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

You almost had me believing this unti I remembered he had a sausage in his mouth, so how could he talk :o/

[–] PrimeMinisterKeyes@leminal.space 11 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

The Garfield way, of course.

[–] AceBonobo@lemmy.world 3 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Assuming direct control of Jon

[–] otter@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 2 weeks ago

Garfield Minus Garfield is the best Garfield. CMM.

[–] Swedneck@discuss.tchncs.de 1 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

i'm very confused what the slash under the emote means, is it dabbing?

[–] btr_fan87@lemmy.world 2 points 2 weeks ago

Maybe the o is a nose and the slash is the mouth? Like how ":-)" uses three characters.

[–] SCmSTR@lemmy.blahaj.zone 25 points 2 weeks ago
[–] Zwiebel@feddit.org 16 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

A neighbors cat once yoinked a hole steak from the table with it's paw xD

[–] Screamium@lemmy.world 19 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)
[–] defaultusername@lemmy.dbzer0.com 13 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Yeah, no need to censor the word "asshole".

[–] jaybone@lemmy.zip 5 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Calamari ass rings chef’s kiss

[–] otter@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 2 weeks ago

You know the chef is sending a message when your calamari includes the hunting hooks. 😵‍💫

[–] idiomaddict@lemmy.world 6 points 2 weeks ago

A small cross section of a tube steak, obviously

[–] BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today 16 points 2 weeks ago

Greatest day of his life. He will remember this forever.

[–] jaybone@lemmy.zip 13 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Hmm, not a single “no outdoor cats” comment in this whole thread (yet.)

[–] otter@lemmy.dbzer0.com 10 points 2 weeks ago

NextDoor doesn't know how to log on... yet.

[–] FlashMobOfOne@lemmy.world 11 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

The furry little god pulled a Ferris Bueller and got away with it.

Legend.

[–] otter@lemmy.dbzer0.com 8 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] qisope@lemmy.world 4 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] otter@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 2 weeks ago

That's what I said, but with more furor.

[–] exasperation@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 2 weeks ago

Abe Froman? The sausage king of Chicago?

[–] renamon_silver@lemmy.wtf 10 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)
[–] psx_crab@lemmy.zip 5 points 2 weeks ago

There's no collar on the cat, that's very likely.

In other word oop have good neighbour.

[–] glitch1985@lemmy.world 3 points 2 weeks ago
[–] humanspiral@lemmy.ca 8 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

peak cat. Mine brings yukky mangled mice and birds.

[–] Mouselemming@sh.itjust.works 8 points 2 weeks ago

Well if you would just demonstrate that you know how to catch and kill your own, she could relax about trying to teach you.

[–] otter@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 2 weeks ago

You should send them to school with the orcas.

[–] dis_honestfamiliar 7 points 2 weeks ago

Then there's me like: Oh a cat. Here Kitty Kitty. You want a sausage? And there he goes. He's probably afraid of humans.

[–] otter@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Now you just gotta teach him/her to team up with the local corvids. 🤌🏼

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 1 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

As a kid I had the genius idea of training magpies to steal stuff and bring it to me thinking it was the perfect crime; can't arrest a bird and the bird is who stole. But then I learned that is actually still illegal. 😔

[–] otter@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 2 weeks ago

Illegal =/= enforceable, FWIW.

[–] kikutwo@lemmy.world 5 points 2 weeks ago

How was it?

[–] floo@retrolemmy.com 5 points 2 weeks ago

Good kitty!

[–] cupcakezealot@piefed.blahaj.zone 4 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

it's polite to bring something to a potluck

[–] ErrorCode@lemmy.world 4 points 2 weeks ago

Good kitty!

[–] Diplomjodler3@lemmy.world 4 points 2 weeks ago

So? How was it?

[–] driving_crooner@lemmy.eco.br 2 points 2 weeks ago

They also bring the carbon and salt(?)!