this post was submitted on 22 Jul 2025
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[–] ClimateStalin@hexbear.net 32 points 10 months ago (2 children)

That’s not a real burglary lmao

[–] mrfugu@hexbear.net 12 points 10 months ago

Lmao she wanted her dead fathers things from her mother who (likely) refused to hand them over?? Girl it’s your mother you can’t find a way to be alone in her house without a b&e dressed like a cartoon goon?

Now that I’m thinking about it she probably dressed like that because of the cameras. But like I could break any electronic thing belonging to my parents or grandparents and when then find it all i’d have to do is shrug and say “yeah I heard they can break like that sometimes.” Old people never take responsibility for tech issues anyway.

[–] invalidusernamelol@hexbear.net 4 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

How is this even considered a burglary? This should just be small claims or family court shit.

[–] 30_to_50_Feral_PAWGs@hexbear.net 31 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Officers responding to the scene just before 5am on Monday discovered Mitchell in the basement "dressed in all black clothing and a black hat" with a flashlight that had a "black sock covering" it nearby, the charging document states.

God forbid a woman have a hobby

[–] LeninsBeard@hexbear.net 15 points 10 months ago (1 children)

They failed to mention the large sack with a dollar sign on it that she was carrying.

[–] 30_to_50_Feral_PAWGs@hexbear.net 14 points 10 months ago (3 children)

One eyewitness stated that Mitchell kept repeatedly muttering, "robble robble" as she was apprehended and led away by law enforcement officers.

[–] FnordPrefect@hexbear.net 8 points 10 months ago

American politicians planning a heist:

Imagine a Hamburglar

[–] LocalOaf@hexbear.net 7 points 10 months ago

"oh boy, here I go stealin' again"

[–] Pentacat@hexbear.net 7 points 10 months ago

Is stealing burgers a serious crime in Burger Reich or is it a sacrament?

[–] came_apart_at_Kmart@hexbear.net 27 points 10 months ago (1 children)

burglary is kinda cool, imo. any dumbass can rob people. it takes skills and planning to burgle.

the anti-burglary laws discriminate against those of us with creep.

[–] LeeeroooyJeeenkiiins@hexbear.net 11 points 10 months ago

this is why if you need a burglar it's a good idea to let your wizard choose

[–] CptKrkIsClmbngThMntn@hexbear.net 26 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I'm a bit conflicted on this. If I elect someone to state or federal office I do expect them to be a bit of a go-getter.

[–] Le_Wokisme@hexbear.net 16 points 10 months ago

any politician besides nixon can have little a crooking as a treat

[–] miz@hexbear.net 25 points 10 months ago (2 children)

I knew it was a democrat because a republican would just stonewall until being convicted and removed from office

[–] Dessa@hexbear.net 25 points 10 months ago (2 children)

A d pressured by another Democrat yo step down while the party carries a 1 vote majority. Stupid.

This is going to be a hell of a special election

[–] Adkml@hexbear.net 18 points 10 months ago

Dems ultimate end goal is to smugly say "you have no idea how bad you look right now" as theyre forced to dig their own grave.

[–] LeeeroooyJeeenkiiins@hexbear.net 15 points 10 months ago

A d pressured by another Democrat yo step down while the party carries a 1 vote majority. Stupid.

I give you, The Democrats!

[–] Rom@hexbear.net 14 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

Do Republicans actually get removed from office for this sort of thing? I would figure they would just invoke the "who is going to do a single thing about it?" clause

[–] HamManBad@hexbear.net 14 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (1 children)

If she had just been dressed in normal clothes this would just be a messy domestic issue. The fact that she felt compelled to dress like a goofy ass cartoon burglar is what sunk her

[–] segfault11@hexbear.net 6 points 10 months ago

what if she was wearing all black because she's goth

[–] D61@hexbear.net 13 points 10 months ago

Its not a real burglary unless you're dressed like the Cookie Crook.