this post was submitted on 17 Aug 2025
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one spouse is more likely to cook potatoes if there are 2 or more available to enjoy them. Other spouse can cook some protein.
fry fry grill grill fry fry grill grill
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They don't like when you ask all the time, though. But sometimes they'll even put potatoes in dumplings for you. See if you can get one to do that for you. Add butter, bacon, sour cream. Mmm.
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Boil em, mash em, stick em up your arse
While you may be able to derive some small amount of nutrition from boiled and mashed potatoes in your rectum, it's usually advisable to consume them through the other end, since starch digestion starts with salivary amylase.
If you'd rather consume the potatoes anally, it's advisable that you find someone to spit into your anus to help the digestive process.
Safety advice: please note that the mouth is lined in stratified squamous epithelium, which is better prepared to handle rough mechanical/chemical/biological stimuli than the simple columnar epithelium of the rectal ampulla. It is therefore advisable to ensure the mashed potatoes are sufficiently cool before uh ~~ingesting~~ ~~scooping~~ consuming.
If I could upvote you twice...
Was fully expecting a hell in the cell ending to this post.
I don't think we watched the same movie...
Marry potato?
What for? Some "eat your wife" kink? :)
How good are potatoes though, right? Fuck I'm stoned.
They're so versatile and just plain delicious! I'm going to make some balsamic red potatoes tonight with dinner!
I'd be hard-pressed to remember having a bad potato. How often can you say that about anything in life?
That's why you marry someone who cooks lots of potatoes
Or you be the potato fiend!
Starting to understand why my wife married me
are you a potato?
No, he has the Spudas Touch.
He's hung like one.
Potato industrial complex propaganda.
and bread! Don't forget eating bread happiness.
You may want to sit down for this.
I always thought that was just a name for the shape, but there really is potato’s in it. Best of both worlds.
Lived alone, eating basically low carb, greek style – not hungry for chips & snacks
Temporary back to mothers (farm, lots of pasta and potato and meat) – hungry for snacks, gaining weight.
Kind of weird to think that potatoes are a relatively modern cooking ingredient. Introduced to Europe from the new world, but even then a slow burner. The French had to be persuaded in the 1800s to think of them as anything but food for livestock.
Fuck carbs. Happiness comes from salads and meat. And my wife.
You haven’t had my mashed potatoes though
It’s an additional thing that brings happiness
Case in point, you haven't had his wife either, so I'm on the fence on this one.
I propose an experiment...
Tell me you use a ricer.
you use a ricer
I can't stand mashed potatoes made with a ricer. All about the mixer.
Hand masher is bestest boy.
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!potatoism@lemmy.world
No poutine? What kind of Americentric nonsense is this?
Is not poutine potatoes?
Yes, but the picture shows fries with ketchup when fries with gravy and cheese curds is objectively the best potato preparation ever dreamed by our species.
I said to my nieces "hapiness is like fire. Money, Lovers, Cars, Success... They are the sticks and logs. If you throw a log into a fire it will increase. But if there is no fire then it's just a pile of wood. You need even a little smal sparkle in you to be able to be happy with all the other stuff. If you have no sparkle, money and boyfriends are just a pile of wood"
Edit: sorry for any mistakes but I lost my glasses
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When my spouse is feeling down, potatoes solve all problems.
I disagree. Human beings are social creatures. Happiness primarily comes from healthy interpersonal relationships, not marriage/prison. In isolation, only the insane are happy. You can downvote and try to replace all human interaction with the screens, hate, and pets, but I can see right through your BS because I've been there. Tell me sex isn't important. Maybe you're content and you keep yourself distracted by being a workaholic and BSing with the people that are paid to be around you, but that facade and those relationships end the day your employment does. The sad truth is that before the screens, people entertained each other. Now we're addicted to the screens. Everyone seems to think happiness is on the other side of one. People are convincing themselves that they don't even need other people... Just need their next fix of screen time. The people on the screens have got us afraid of each other while the crime rate is at an all time low. Got us more likely to fight our neighbors than the people that are robbing us. And taters suck, nutritionally speaking, but I'm content with 'em as long as it's 25% cheese.
i was with you till the last word
Marriage is punishment for shoplifting in some countries.
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