this post was submitted on 03 Nov 2025
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TranscriptionA Twitter post by Dana Schwartz @DanaSchwartzzz that reads Whenever I scold my cat, I use the royal we" so she doesn't feel so ashamed. “We don't eat that. We don't chew on electrical cords," I say. It's as if I, too, have a problem with eating wires or plastic I found on the floor and she and I are working on that problem together.

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[–] Successful_Try543@feddit.org 98 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (3 children)

It's as if I, too, have a problem with eating wires or plastic I found on the floor and she and I are working on that problem together.

That's precisely not the royal we. The royal we would imply that she means only herself and not herself and her cat.

[–] petersr@lemmy.world 26 points 4 months ago

Came to the comments to say this.

[–] samus12345@sh.itjust.works 13 points 4 months ago

We are not amused!

[–] kevincox@lemmy.ml -4 points 4 months ago (2 children)

No, this is the right meaning royal we. If you say "we are going into battle" it is talking about the person being talked to not the person talking. So in this case "We don't eat that" would be implying that the cat doesn't eat that, not actually saying anything about the speaker even though "we" would imply they are included.

[–] tomcatt360@lemmy.zip 17 points 4 months ago (2 children)

Its a nosism, but its not a royal we because it is refering to both the speaker and the cat. I believe the Wikipedia page refers to this usage as the patronizing we.

[–] edgemaster72@lemmy.world 3 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Petition to call it the peasant we

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 3 points 4 months ago

The catowner's we

[–] kevincox@lemmy.ml -2 points 4 months ago (3 children)

I guess it depends how you look at it. From my point of view the speaker isn't actually talking about themselves. That is the "royal" part. And I mean she does say "as if" to back up that yes, she is not actually including herself.

[–] Alaknar@sopuli.xyz 9 points 4 months ago

That is the “royal” part

But it's not.

We, the king, say this with all authority - the "royal we" is used when one wants to say "I" but make it sound more grandiose and important.

What the woman in the OP describes is the "patronising we". Yes, it's also a nosism, but it's very much not the "royal we".

[–] Peruvian_Skies@sh.itjust.works 9 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

The royal "we" refers to me (the speaker) and my majesty. It does not include other people.

This is also why people don't ask royalty anything about themselves directly, but always ask about their majesty or some other grandiose trait appropriate to their station. It's honestly funny how ridiculous people can get with their boot licking that this is still considered normal.

[–] 3abas@lemmy.world 3 points 4 months ago

The "royal we" refers to royalty referring to themselves individually in the plural form.

[–] dil@lemmy.zip 3 points 4 months ago

no its like when a business uses we but it's all just one person, like webdevs, I know theres a email hoster that uses we all over his site except one section where he specifies it's the royal we and just him

[–] sundray@lemmus.org 31 points 4 months ago (2 children)

OMG I just realized that this is how my therapist talks to me.

[–] jaybone@lemmy.zip 17 points 4 months ago (2 children)
[–] homesweethomeMrL@lemmy.world 16 points 4 months ago (1 children)

You don’t have to answer that!

[–] jaybone@lemmy.zip 16 points 4 months ago (1 children)

We don’t have to answer that.

[–] homesweethomeMrL@lemmy.world 9 points 4 months ago

Yeah. What we said.

[–] sundray@lemmus.org 5 points 4 months ago (1 children)

I don't... think so.

I mean, she'd have to tell me if I was a cat, right?

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 3 points 4 months ago (1 children)

I'm pretty sure that's the law

[–] sundray@lemmus.org 2 points 4 months ago

Oh thank god :3

[–] sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

... like you are an idiot child?

Either you are, or you have a very bad and disrespectful therapist.

[–] panda_abyss@lemmy.ca 21 points 4 months ago

I just say no in a firm voice and flick my hand at them like it's a paw.

They find the flick very offensive for some reason, so it seems like an effective scolding technique.

Of course if there's an alternative they should be doing I try redirecting them to that, but sometimes there isn't (like climbing on the top of the kitchen cabinets and staring down from the ceiling).

[–] OldChicoAle@lemmy.world 20 points 4 months ago (1 children)

I do that with my dog. "We don't need to pee on every bush we pass".

[–] WhiskyTangoFoxtrot@lemmy.world 18 points 4 months ago

Speak for yourself.

[–] I_Fart_Glitter@lemmy.world 17 points 4 months ago (1 children)

“Oh my love, I love you much * scoop * here are some kisses. Let’s not play with cords. Cords are not safe. Oh look here are some spring toys!” * plays with spring toys like they are my favorite thing *

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 2 points 4 months ago

Spring toy! Do you also have the bird toy :3

[–] AllNewTypeFace@leminal.space 15 points 4 months ago (1 children)

“We don’t bite our friends”

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 19 points 4 months ago (1 children)
[–] jaybone@lemmy.zip 10 points 4 months ago

That other cat is chill as fuck.

[–] MissJinx@lemmy.world 13 points 4 months ago (1 children)

My cat started chewing the recharger cord while still conected. She is extremely traumitized so I can't be too loud or mean with her but I am worry she will electrecute herself so now I charge my phone in the bathroom and leave the door close. am I crazy? yes. But I don't have the heart

[–] limelight79@lemmy.world 12 points 4 months ago (1 children)

I had to banish my first cat from the bedroom. He'd start chewing wires to get me to react - which worked, because I didn't want him to be electrocuted - to get him breakfast.

I loved that cat, and I hated to do it, but I can't have him chewing wires.

Later in his life he was allowed back into the bedroom. He'd come into the bedroom while we were prepping for bed, then curl up under the blankets with me for a while, then leave for the rest of the night.

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 3 points 4 months ago (1 children)

That's so sweet. We bottlefed my first soulcat. The rest of their life, they would drape themselves on top of my arm for comfort. They slept on top of/along my arm at night. I haven't slept well since they passed

[–] limelight79@lemmy.world 2 points 4 months ago

We have one now, actually the successor to the cat I mentioned above, who likes to relax on my arm. Right now he's catloafing on one of my legs, not sure what's up with that, but his usual position is to lay across my left arm.

We have another that cuddles with me at night. Occasionally I'll wake up, and he'll realize I'm awake and demand cuddles. He's pretty good about not waking me up, usually.

[–] wowwoweowza@lemmy.world 9 points 4 months ago

You’d make an excellent parent of a human, too.

[–] 1984@lemmy.today 8 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

Plot twist: the cat is training her human to pay attention to her...

[–] stevedice@sh.itjust.works 7 points 4 months ago

I just verbally abuse her in a nice tone and she gets excited.

[–] paraphrand@lemmy.world 6 points 4 months ago

Not eating plastic is a constant battle in my house. Thin shopping bags are a favorite.

[–] CubitOom@infosec.pub 5 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

Couldn't that be confusing for the cat, saying we don't do something that they are currently doing?

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 4 points 4 months ago

"is that an approved scratch-/chew-/biteable?" is what I use. I think they understand because they react with shame abs go to the approved scratchers and stuff

[–] homesweethomeMrL@lemmy.world 4 points 4 months ago

Clearly it can’t be the cat’s problem.

[–] theuniqueone@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 4 months ago

Yep good make sure your cat doesn't feel like you're singling them out for criticism.

[–] JustAnotherPodunk@lemmy.world 2 points 4 months ago (1 children)

I just want to know how to make them stop with the cable chewing. I've repaired or replaced so many electronic cords. I'm losing my mind.

I'm learning that I am not a cat person.

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 1 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Give them something better to chew on. We have flowers growing outside most of the year, so our cats get wildflowers to chew on

[–] JustAnotherPodunk@lemmy.world 6 points 4 months ago

Yeah my house plants are also victims in this situation. They literally destroy everything I love.

I tried putting chili oil on the cables and now I'm convinced that my cats could eat the most potent of Indian food and remain unscathed.

I think they crave it now...