That line would knock me off my feet. But I'm a dude.
this post was submitted on 05 Feb 2026
760 points (98.8% liked)
Microblog Memes
10759 readers
3957 users here now
A place to share screenshots of Microblog posts, whether from Mastodon, tumblr, ~~Twitter~~ X, KBin, Threads or elsewhere.
Created as an evolution of White People Twitter and other tweet-capture subreddits.
RULES:
- Your post must be a screen capture of a microblog-type post that includes the UI of the site it came from, preferably also including the avatar and username of the original poster. Including relevant comments made to the original post is encouraged.
- Your post, included comments, or your title/comment should include some kind of commentary or remark on the subject of the screen capture. Your title must include at least one word relevant to your post.
- You are encouraged to provide a link back to the source of your screen capture in the body of your post.
- Current politics and news are allowed, but discouraged. There MUST be some kind of human commentary/reaction included (either by the original poster or you). Just news articles or headlines will be deleted.
- Doctored posts/images and AI are allowed, but discouraged. You MUST indicate this in your post (even if you didn't originally know). If an image is found to be fabricated or edited in any way and it is not properly labeled, it will be deleted.
- Absolutely no NSFL content.
- Be nice. Don't take anything personally. Take political debates to the appropriate communities. Take personal disagreements & arguments to private messages.
- No advertising, brand promotion, or guerrilla marketing.
RELATED COMMUNITIES:
founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
Real talk, if you have to fake it with your significant other, maybe you should rethink things.
I'm glad I can be my normal goofy self with my wife.
Things that are endearing when you know someone might be offputting when you don't know then. Faking it when you are with someone is definitely not the way but showing some restraint with some of the more unique character traits when you get to know someone can be helpful at times.
On one hand true, on the other hand awkward flirtation isn't such a situation. I'm married to someone I started talking to with a stupid pickup line aimed at her and another woman at the same time. Be a curated version of yourself
Definitely true and fair, though I'd say that would more likely apply to some... Maybe actually negative character traits which maybe should be adjusted.
I think there's a hard line to find between "being yourself" and "this is something I should actually change to be a better person"
This seems like it's coming from an attractive person who doesn't understand how easy being attractive makes dating
Except, you know, attractiveness is subjective, and heavily influenced by your personality
Don't sell yourself short
Also don’t be short
And also, be attractive, and don't be unattractive!
Nah, that could easily have a landed as a joke instead of a brain fart. And being funny is about 80-90% as good as being physically attractive.
I would rather have someone that's conventionally unattractive and funny than the hottest person in the world with the personality of a wet sponge
load more comments
(2 replies)
load more comments
(1 replies)
What even is the next step after getting a person's number, sending them memes?
Ask them out the next day? Did everybody forget to function as human beings while I was away?
That depends, how long were you gone?
Ask them out where? Like out-side? Gross.
Playing an online co-op game is an idea, but probably not for a first date.
Mall? Wait, sorry. 90s TV taught me how to date.
Just ask chat gpt how to text them
"I hope this text finds you well..."
I had to send a soulless corporate emai(my first)l to one of my devs who fucked up pretty big. I ran it through copilot and it told me my opening paragraph was to emotional. I've worked with the guy for 7 years and been his boss for 3. The email was about accountability and communication which I probably should have sent 2 years ago.
Just out of curiosity, did you take the edit? You guys have longstanding relationship and genuine human connection is one of the most important things in the world to me, it's sad to think of corporate perspective being that tightly enforced. Can't be good for the living, breathing people behind those processes :(
Yeah I wanted it to be as soulless as possible. If I could I would have yelled at him but being as could as possible was better than being luke warm
Think I'd rather get yelled at, thanks for sharing your perspective here at least. I do have further questions re: management by LLM but don't want to confront you with em, hope your day's going well
First time I've ever used it, It was an edited version of my original email. I am the lead Dev I try to avoid "managing" when I can.
You can create accounts on funny websites in their name
Captionless memes! That's a bold strategy Cotton.
You just add it to the list of other such numbers, I don't think you're supposed to do anything with them. They're probably used as random seeds or something.
Serious answer: depends on what you're into and what you're looking for.
I've been married a while and I still send my wife memes. Sharing random jokes we found on the internet makes up a big part of our messaging thread, in addition to normal topics of communication (whether we want to go to a thing, what time we'll likely get home from work, what do we want for dinner, can you check to see if we have enough cheese to make this thing I want to make, you won't believe what this asshole said to me at work, etc.).
But the memes are still a big part of our communication, after pretty much starting that way. Our early texts were both coordination of in-person dates, and funny things that made each other laugh.
The handful of relationships I had that started in the smartphone era basically followed that pattern. There were some duds that fizzled out between getting a number and not ever making it to a date, but I don't think I'd want to be with someone who didn't enjoy my communication style. Which, again, is heavily meme based.
This is exactly what you should say to someone with a lot of plants.
I don't think that person is a he
Fair enough, I should not assume anyway.
load more comments
(1 replies)
Dating tip: If they like you, you can do no wrong. If they don't like you, you can do no right.
I mean it's probably true, if you can take care of a ton of plants, your place is obviously well maintained. Plants are hard af, Ive failed at every attempt. If someone complimented my air, I would be ecstatic
Plants are actually kind of easy. If you want to try again:
- Choose the right plants. Yes, some plants are hard to keep and need specific environments. Avoid those, other plants are able to grow on a parking lot in the summer
- Some plants need direct sunlight, others like the shade. Some plants need a lot of water, others not. This is written on this little cardboard thingy when you buy them
Yeah, and that's it. Buy plants that don't need much maintenance and you're fine. Maybe set a reminder to water them.
Sunlight + water + a place to grow. Just the basics. I'm a plant beginner, my problem is fussing with my plants too much...
load more comments
(1 replies)
I figured, I'd get one of those standard issue succulents, because they're supposed to be easy to care for, and now it decided to grow a 30 cm stalk, when the rest of the plant is just 5 cm tall.
Like, what the hell, dude. Am I supposed to cut it off? I don't even know what kind of succulent it is, so I can't look it up either. I've just been letting it grow and hoping that it doesn't entwine my whole place. 🫠
Plant people on Reddit help identify plants from a photo. Might work here on Lemmy too.
You can get plant ID apps on mobile. If it's leggy, it probably is trying to find sun. You can prune/trim it, even propogate, just need to make sure you look up how that works.
You can still read up on succulents in general, they all have similar needs
load more comments
(1 replies)
Wherever you land on a 1-10 scale of attractiveness you'll get about +2 to +3 if you're funny.
Having a lot of plants in your house is also a +2 or +3. That's how Poison Ivy seduces people.
well damn bro congratulations
I see nothing wrong.
Nothing about this is strange. Oh, someone made a weird comment about my oxygen content! Oh, maybe that person thinks I have real plants in my place!? What do? Fuck that person. Literally, have sex with them.
Lol I need to use this on more people
view more: next ›