Ask Lemmy

do people like this genuinely get enjoyment from surrounding themselves with negativity?

it's an emotional outlet. they can't regulate their emotions without lashing out. I just block people that don't know how to get along well with others.

Affirmation.

They're generally desperately insecure and unable to find anything of any value in themselves, so since they can't build themselves up, they try to tear other people down.

And it doesn't work very well, so if they come to depend on it, they have to do it virtually nonstop.

They get their Russian payments.

What do dogs get out of barking through a fence?

There are a lot of reasons for this. Some people never learned how to manage their emotions or how to disagree in a mature manner. A lot of people feel frustrated, angry and powerless in their everyday lives, so being nasty to others online provides a weird sort of catharsis for them. Others simply never acquired the necessary social skills to successfully function in society to any significant degree. Still others are narcissists who derive feelings of power from making others feel small. The list goes on and on.

There probably is a root cause or at least a cluster of root causes, but I couldn't tell you what.

I've personally known 2 people who fit the profile you're asking about. They get online and they're just so hateful, spiteful, mean, and negative. There's not a lot of commonality between them, but I see some things that might count. Hard for me to know if these are applicable to most people behaving badly online, though.

First and foremost, neither of them behave this way to that extent in person. The worst of their behavior is limited to online interactions. Both of them are terribly flawed people and nowhere near what I would call a great person, though, even in person they are both a lot to handle at times.

These guys have an opinion on literally everything, their opinion is right, and anybody who questions that or has an opposing opinion is to be mocked and belittled. They are egotistical narcissists for sure.

While they seem to have a decent social circle, there are some strange aspects to it. For example, despite all their friends, their family (including close members like parents, children, siblings) are mostly/entirely estranged. And, their friendships often seem a bit shallow and transactional.

These guys both have rigid social expectations of others, and expect other people to follow those standards without having to be asked or told. Like, if a child forgot to say thank you after they were given a gift, they won't ever let that go. 10 years from now, they'll talk about the time that Kimmy didn't say thank you when she was 9. Or if a woman declines their chivalry, then she's a bitch from now until eternity because that's "rude".

I like to encourage a silly sort of reaction, rather than a hostile one.

I was playing Rocket League the other day, and said that the enemy team's mother buys off-brand baked beans. I got called a doughnut.

If someone is being angry, try calling them various fruit. Then again some people are just straight up chikoos.

One of the great things about lemmy is that when I block someone toxic it has a significant impact on the quality of my feed.

For me (and I know it's a losing battle) I like to remind people that being stupid is a negative trait. Even if it's one voice among thousands, I feel that people deserve to know that when they make a statement that passes from their fingers to the keyboard, without ever stopping at the brain, that they should expect someone to call them out on it.

I would never be hateful toward someone for their appearance, or a disability, or their race, or sexuality/gender. But for people that choose to live in ignorance and spout the most idiotic things imaginable; yea, I'm gonna point how fucking stupid they are, and I'm not going to be nice about it.

People often focus their anger at anything but its object to avoid feeling impotent... you know, like when people are having a bad day and thsy snap at something random.

Edit: it's a power thing... you know, "if i can torture/correct/make fun of internet randos then i am not completely powerless, which is what i fear because i feel i have no power over that thing that actually hurts me. I hurt people to feel control over a hostile life."

There's a human need to make some kind of impact on others. Some people do it by building up - posting positivity, or creating art, or whatever. Others do it by tearing down - posting insults, or vandalism, and so on.

The negative path is much, much easier.

Anger causes higher level of engagement. If you see a post or comment you agree on, there's no reason for you to comment. More engagement - more clicks - more ad revenue.

Some people's have natural born desire to seek for conflicts wherever they go - on the internet or outside of it. These people feel right about anything, and constatly seek to prove everyone is inferior around them.

I mean I have always been sarcastic and I can be snarky without really meaning anything mean about it. although not all my comments are snarky.

Being angry is a very easy to access motivated place. I suspect some of the nastier folks just aren't good at motivating themselves otherwise

I think it's the same as with being toxic irl. I would guess it's a sort of revenge against society that has hated these people for doing something before. Or maybe people feel injustice when others do what they can't. Sometimes, your peaceful opinion might be an attack for somebody if it represents something they fight. It also may make these people feel less helpless and more self-worthy, i.e. compensate for the hate they've received themselves. Trauma, to put it simply

Hate is easy.

dopamine

Without condoning or condemning: some people have had many bad days, are easily triggered and don't know how to act any better. Maybe one day they will, they just don't yet. Sometimes it really has very little to do with you and almost everything to do with them.

As someone who had a phase where my day consisted of saying snarky stuff to stupid people on a forum known for stupid people, its about your self worth being so bad that you start seeing others as subhuman for not knowing such a basic thing

At the time, I was not sure if I would pass high school, and since I needed the degree for the thing I want to study (system integration), I was pretty much suicidal, although only passively/only wanting to jump off of a bridge, not doing it

And since my self worth was already zero, I saw others who knew even less as the unsaveable bottom of humanity

Dopamine.

I think some people feel alone and helpless; life can be really cruel to some people and if you've been brought up in an environment of constant negativity, perhaps neglect, and you don't have much of a support network then it isn't always obvious that there's an alternative.

I don't know that anyone really gets enjoyment from expressing constant negativity, but it could be a symptom of depression or similar.