this post was submitted on 04 Mar 2026
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] qarbone@lemmy.world 39 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago)

Turns out being exiled to suck grains of sand for individual molecules of moisture up through your early 20s isn't as good for the resume as being inducted as a child into the fasttrack program for magic West Point.

[–] Objection@lemmy.ml 39 points 6 days ago (2 children)

Yeah it turns out cozying up to evil powerful people can advance your personal position more than fighting against them, who knew?

Say what you will about Luke and accidental incest, but he's not in the files, I'll tell you that.

[–] ZILtoid1991@lemmy.world 8 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Also sibling incest is a lot less often end up in abuse than parent-child incest. Every other argument against incest could be applied to a lot of other kinds of relationships, including the birth defects one.

[–] Skullgrid@lemmy.world 5 points 6 days ago

you're ziltoid the omniscient and you can't see that your statement might be a bit problematic... as in it might cause you problems?

maybe you need coffee that isn't fetid.

[–] Mrkawfee@feddit.uk 0 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Yeah just look at Israel supporters.

[–] TrickDacy@lemmy.world 4 points 6 days ago (1 children)
[–] Mrkawfee@feddit.uk 0 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago) (1 children)

Oy vey. You caught me, Hasbara

[–] TrickDacy@lemmy.world 4 points 6 days ago

You outed yourself, and continue to do so.

[–] I_Has_A_Hat@lemmy.world 27 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago) (1 children)

By the destruction of the Death Star alone, Luke has a higher kill count than Anakin did at 22, saved the Rebellion, and became a decorated war hero. And Luke did all that in less than a week of getting caught up in events.

Meanwhile Anakin had been building up to that point for years, and was only a General because all Jedi were Generals. Other than becoming a Jedi, it's not like he did anything specifically to earn that position.

[–] Wilco@lemmy.zip 6 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Anakin was also playing the game with cheats on. Palp was arranging a lot of softball missions for him. Can't have the chosen one get randomly killed by a droid.

[–] GalacticGrapefruit@lemmy.world 2 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Did we watch the same TV show as kids?? I wouldn't call the invasion of Geonosis a 'softball mission'.

[–] Wilco@lemmy.zip 2 points 6 days ago

Geonosis was arranged as a bit of a humbling strike. Anakin was supposed to meet and be defeated by his rival for apprentice ... which is what happened.

Again, another softball as Dooku was likely instructed not to kill or harm Anakin ... which explained why he looked disappointed with the arm having been lost.

[–] harambe69@lemmy.dbzer0.com 11 points 6 days ago (1 children)

A TCOAL reference on Lemmy?

[–] puppycat@lemmy.blahaj.zone 8 points 6 days ago

the internet is healing

...or like getting worse in a good way

[–] itsgroundhogdayagain@lemmy.ml 6 points 6 days ago

Luke was a Commander in the Rebel Alliance by then so not all that terrible. He definitely had more war crimes than Anakin.

[–] Aceticon@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 points 6 days ago

Luke was a late bloomer whilst Anakin was a child genious.

[–] finallymadeanaccount@lemmy.world 2 points 6 days ago (1 children)

At no point in his life did Luke get any. Ever. Hell, Yoda probably slung his leg over more often. But permavirgin Luke? Nope.

[–] setsneedtofeed@lemmy.world 4 points 6 days ago (1 children)
[–] finallymadeanaccount@lemmy.world 1 points 5 days ago (1 children)
[–] HK65@sopuli.xyz 5 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Mara Jade, from the non-Disney Star Wars universe.

She's Luke's wife.

Huh. TIL.

Thank you.

[–] impudentmortal@lemmy.world 122 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Thought it would be funnier if we added Leia

[–] Skullgrid@lemmy.world 25 points 6 days ago (2 children)

...

why did they fuck luke over? They put Leia in a hereditary monarch position, and him in some desert in the middle of fucking nowhere to farm moisture?

[–] Routhinator@startrek.website 18 points 6 days ago (1 children)

In my headcannon this explains solitary senile old Luke.

[–] Skullgrid@lemmy.world 9 points 6 days ago (2 children)

... because he was neglected? Because of the moisture farm chemicals?

[–] Nikelui@lemmy.world 10 points 6 days ago

It's the blue milk. That stuff rots your brain.

[–] MSBBritain@lemmy.world 4 points 6 days ago

Hmm. Well, most chemical desiccants would probably cause moderate to severe damage when breathed in, and with a bit of suspense of disbelief could explain developmental issues...

[–] SCmSTR@lemmy.blahaj.zone 13 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago) (3 children)

/uj Wasn't it implied (also in the obi wan series) that they needed to separate them literally as much as possible? So not just planetary, but also by the very walk of life, and by all reason, they shouldn't have ever crossed paths, even accidentally. If they were both paupers on different planets and physically passed by each other, they might talk, but by separating them by class, even if they walked by each other, one is literal royalty and the boundary would be immense.

So that they eventually crossed paths by fate, shows the power and will of the force to bring good people together or some bullshit.

[–] DakRalter@thelemmy.club 5 points 6 days ago

This is the version I want :( Having Luke and Nellith working as a Jedi duo would have been so cool.

[–] Skullgrid@lemmy.world 4 points 6 days ago

makes sense. that's great on the part of the fans to come up with decent explanations to plot holes that gape open more than anal acrobats' prolapsed assholes.

[–] W98BSoD@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 6 days ago

… or some bullshit.

Yep, that sounds about right when “somehow Palpatine returned” exists.

[–] unemployedclaquer@sopuli.xyz 32 points 1 week ago

That's a helpful and necessary addition. The mythology does not serve itself.

[–] bandwidthcrisis@lemmy.world 50 points 1 week ago (1 children)

"Future father" at age 22 is a strange achievement.

[–] how_we_burned@lemmy.zip 13 points 6 days ago

Wasn't a jedi knight on the council either.

What a failure.

[–] FinjaminPoach@lemmy.world 44 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I know.... Somehow, I've always known

Somehow Leia also just knew Luke would be one of those "chill" brothers who lets you kiss them on the lips for a few seconds to make your boyfriend/crush jealous.

[–] SatansMaggotyCumFart@piefed.world 35 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Those two definitely banged once or twice after they figured out they were siblings.

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[–] TheTechnician27@lemmy.world 38 points 1 week ago (12 children)

"The Strongest Jedi" definitely isn't right. At best, he's evenly matched with Obi-Wan. If you apply stupid "power scaling" rules, then sure, Obi-Wan got ganked by Dooku during their fight while Anakin handily beat him. But at the same time that Dooku pushes Obi-Wan, he easily kicks and downs Anakin who's behind him; Obi-Wan was just the one he subdued by crushing him, ostensibly seeing him as the greater threat.

We've seen Anakin lose to Obi-Wan at the (inherent) height of his combat prowess, and it was his own fault. Windu and Yoda probably also take Anakin one-on-one. (Windu, of course, was totally defenseless when Anakin severed his arm.)

If we're talking about things like the Force, Yoda is clearly much more powerful. There's an argument Anakin was the most powerful pilot, but that combined with being very Force-sensitive and a very good duelist doesn't make him "the most powerful" overall. Most potential? If he could keep his emotions under control, probably.

[–] Comrade_Spood@quokk.au 1 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago)

Power can only account for arrogance so much. I interpret it as Anakin was the most powerful Jedi, but his arrogance and lack of self control often times got in the way of it. So to me, Obiwan didn't win because he was stronger, but because he was in control.

[–] BremboTheFourth@piefed.ca 25 points 1 week ago

Yeah, there are plenty of Jedi who can beat Anakin, but I think if you normalize for experience, he was easily the strongest of any of his peers. He should have seen being allowed to sit in on the council at his age as an enormous honor. But of course, he's the egotist supreme, and he had unwise words being whispered in his ear.

Also, in the fight with Dooku, it seems likely to me that Palpatine somehow invisibly sabotaged him once Obi-Wan was down. Palps wanted that to end with both Dooku AND Obi-Wan dead.

Tap for spoilerI mean the truth is the movies are just poorly written and wildly inconsistent, but whatever lol

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[–] domdanial@reddthat.com 26 points 1 week ago (5 children)

I don't love that I recognize the art style / pose.

[–] Lanusensei87@lemmy.world 2 points 6 days ago

There is something to be said about how recognizable it is, that is commendable in itself. Too bad about the reason why 😬.

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