Welcome to /c/traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns, an anti-capitalist meme community for transgender and gender diverse people.
Please follow the Hexbear Code of Conduct
Selfies are not permitted for the personal safety of users.
No personal identifying information may be posted or commented.
Stay on topic (trans/gender stuff).
Bring a trans friend!
Any image post that gets 200 upvotes with "banner" or "rule 6" in the title becomes the new banner.
Posts about dysphoria/trauma/transphobia should be NSFW tagged for community health purposes.
When made outside of NSFW tagged posts, comments about dysphoria/traumatic/transphobic material should be spoiler tagged.
Arguing in favor of transmedicalism is unacceptable. This is an inclusive and intersectional community.
While this is mostly a meme community, we allow most trans related posts as we grow the trans community on the fediverse.
If you need your neopronouns added to the list, please contact the site admins.
Remember to report rulebreaking posts, don't assume someone else has already done it!
Matrix Group Chat:
Suggested Matrix Client: Cinny
https://rentry.co/tracha (Includes rules and invite link)
π³οΈββ§οΈ Transmasculine Pride Ring π³οΈββ§οΈ
Alright gotta do this before I head out, transformers I mostly know them to do one thing and that's changing voltage. You either have step up or what I've learned them for mostly in HVAC as step down as in changing 240 volts to 24 volts. There's not much you really do to fix them if they aren't working just make sure the wires coming in are actually secured on it and the lines out also. If it ain't working you replace it with an OEM and move on but I done some digging into how they work. As shown in the image you got windings shown primary and secondary and how the voltage change depend on the ratio of windings you got and the voltage coming in. Something something Faradays of induction and you got EMF, look I'm not gonna pretend I fully understand it all yet but I'm trying. I know this component is real important since while the main things in HVAC require 240 volts a lot of safe guards and other components need just 24 volt to get working such as contactors and switches to get the power through. Anyway keep looking out on this mega as I add more through out the week as I try to educate myself on it by reading.
Join our public Matrix server!
https://rentry.co/tracha#tracha-rooms
As a reminder, please do not discuss current struggle sessions in the mega. We want this to be a little oasis for all of us and the best way to do that is not to feed into existing conflict on the site.
Also, be sure to properly give content warnings and put sensitive subjects behind proper spoiler tags. It's for the mental health of not just your comrades, but yourself as well.
Here is a screenshot of where to find the spoiler button.
spoiler
HELLO THIS IS THE MEGA SIGN UP POST/LIST POST
if you have a preferred week please tell me
Disaster_of_Passion* (3/16 - 3/22)
meler* (3/23 - 3/29)
Shaleesh* (3/30 - 4/5)
Carcharodonna* (4/6 - 4/12)
GayTuckerCarlson* (4/13 - 4/19)
Busgirl (4/20 - 4/26)
SwitchyandWitchy* (4/27 - 5/3)
β * after name denotes someone who has posted before and will be skipped by first-time posters
Got to talk with one of the supportive peeps at work today
It was weird/funny to me that my being trans is more normal to her than it is to me. Its more foreign and weird feeling and everything to the trans person then the ally π god I love her. Wish I saw her more.
Also I am such a negative person holy shit its embarrassing why do I have to be like this
Overall my new job is going well, I learned one department of the building I clean is committed to getting a deal with no down payment at Big Bill Hell's, somehow they piss on top of urinals, first few times I was impressed, but like watching Cirque du Soleil too much now I'm not. Other than physics defying messes no one gives me any trouble like in retail which is still a breath of fresh air, downside I learn way more about people's health than I'd like to and its a bit concerning to observe powerlessly.
got extended hours tomorrow meaning almost 12 hours of answering calls 
RIP me
Just rewatched matrix revolutions! Whoever says this movie is bad just has no taste! I really can't understand why people hate on the matrix so much, it's literally better than the Lord of the rings. Also Keanu Reeves does a good job of acting. Like the movies make sense like people who say it makes no sense don't seem to have payed attention. Anywho rant over! I'm really excited to watch the animatrix with my friend next week.
We're about to re-watch the original trilogy this week and then probably resurrections XD They're so good, hopefully we can lock in and focus cause we definitely missed parts last time
silly nonsense to take the edge off
If I were to invent a religion it wouldn't be lovey dovey or hippy dippy. It would be a religion that emphasizes the following:
Ok, so I just ended up making a more fun and less sane communist party.
slightly horny
i was trying to infodump about ww2 to my partner and they were too busy w my hrtitties to pay attention, so these must be the consequences of transitioning I was warned about
Ooh very fun!
It was both cute and surprising, love 2 be tramsgendr
self-destrucive behaviour
Can yall give me motivation? I'm dangerously depressed and spiraling again.
If you want deets, it's basically like
Haven't been crying at all recently, but that's not a good thing. It means that I'm distracting myself from thinking too much. And that is interfering with my functionality and also causing financial problems.
(Putting it that way makes me realise how bad things have gotten ...)
mood disorders
It sounds dumb but one of the main very effective treatments for mood disorders/just feeling very down like this is good sleep hygiene and good healthy eating and staying hydrated.
One of the first things you can do is start, if you haven't, walking and moving your body 30 mins a day or so. I think youve said you already do that, but if you stopped or didnt you should add it. This isnt like keeping your HR up exercise, just light walking.
You should stop using screens 2 hours before bed and cut coffee in the afternoon, if you do that. It probably isnt helping you if you use cannabis and you should consider cutting down or stopping, for now. For eating, eat more protein and fibrous foods. They will help you feel full for longer. Also just eating like an orange, lettuce, cucumber, some tofu, whatever you know the health foods will make you feel better. Because theyre encoded as "healthy" socially/culturally and so you will probably feel better at a subconscious level just from the placebo effect (which works quite strongly even when you know its a placebo lol).
You should try to reach out socially with people, in real life, as well. It will help you feel better to see people face to face, people you love and trust. Talk to then about how youve been feeling.
Trying to do all of this at once isnt necessary. If I were to start with 2 it would be: adding light walking and no screens before bed. I would add on: no afternoon coffees and cutting down on substances if you think you can manage, in addition to socializing in real life. You don't need to get your life on track in 3 days for it to count, no all or nothing on this, its a positive trendline and a marathon.
Would you treat someone else or treat a pet the way you treat yourself? Or would you give them healthy food, good sleep habits, some exercise, and time to play and socialize. If you would do it for someone else, you can do it for yourself too!
You know something is wrong and you want to feel better, this is a great first step to be in. You have a great list there of things you want to change - you identified you need better sleep habits, you use what you consider to be overuse for substances, you want better eating habits. There is more you can do, some of it might cost money, but try starting with some light exercise and better sleep.
In terms of dysphoria - obviously this is a shitty hard time. The treatment for dysphoria is transition. Wearing girls clothes, painting toe nails, makeup, doing HRT, voice training, having friends you trust use your name and pronouns. Dysphoria makes everything feel worse, dysphoria + down mood is a shitty combo and they feed each other. I dont know if it would help or not, but treat yourself as if you were a treasured friend that just freshly came out - how would you help her? Do those things for yourself.
spoiler
It's not that I don't know any of these things. Normally things are better for me. But I always swing back and forth between feeling productive and feeling completely down. It is such an inconvenience but when I start taking care of my health and stop using distractions, it makes me think. Thinking is the no no stuff.
people you love and trust.
I don't have such people. Even when I interact with people I don't feel close to any of them anymore.
I dont know if it would help or not, but treat yourself as if you were a treasured friend that just freshly came out - how would you help her? Do those things for yourself.
I can't do it alone. No matter how much I pretend to have imaginary friends (trust me, I've even begun suspecting myself of DID at times) it doesn't feel real and the magic doesn't last.
It's an excuse, I know. There's nothing physically stopping me from doing it alone.
I forgot for a second that it was Albania and not Al-bania
Oh shit this is dangerously off topic. Let me fix that with a trans meme
dysphoria mention)
I found this personal attack aimed at me on the hell site
spoiler
Last one is me
Well + voice no one seems to mention voice dysphoria idk why
spoiler
People don't really get into the details of things very often.
I rarely see people talk about dysphoria related to weight either (my personal hell). Clothes and hair seem to get the overwhelming amount of attention.
spoiler
Yea its all face/hair/clothes.
Weight is not great for me either tbh, too much tummy atm. Worried about what weight gain will do to me too because ssris made me fat a few years ago. Lost most of it but those fat cells are still there.
spoiler
Weight is not great for me either tbh, too much tummy atm.
because ssris made me fat a few years ago
SSRIs cause weight gain? Ah ...
spoiler
uh they can, I tried a ton and most made me not hungry at all tbf. It was just one of them that made me gain a ton of weight. Also didn't help I was totally checked out of my body at the time and so I didn't notice how much I had actually gained. Just be mindful ig.
the hell site
I had to stop going on r*ddit for any sort or community based thing, strictly a hobbies or random info thing only now.
spoiler
Yeah. I'm off all the main subs. Only thing I go for is tankie content and my fav fandom communities.
unlimited genocide on every hair follicle not on my scalp. Except pubes I don't really mind you guys too much. So limited genocide.
That is all
No eyebrows eh?
AHHH okay eyebrows are chill. i shouldve planned out my genocide better
Watching Gokudols( 3 Yakuza get unwillingly medically transitioned and have to become idols) it's funny as fuck!
I had to go in for bloodwork today and the lab tech at the clinic was the sweetest old lady. She was so casually kind and good humoured, very good at relieving tension in what's normally a pretty stressful situation for me. After a little joking around she told me that I brightened her day... I really didn't expect going to the clinic for bloodwork to pull me out of the anxious funk I'd been in all morning.
I saw a targeted Ad for me that said "struggling to remember the 156 tarot meanings?"
And I thought: No? It's only 78 plus reversals. I can remember all of those, even when I use Thoth deck with it's different meanings. Doesn't everyone just remember the nature of the minor arcana suits and what the separate numbers mean then imagine them as an x-y graph?
Starting to realise not everyone is an Autistic Trans Lesbian...
not everyone is an Autistic Trans Lesbian
Also I've said this before but anyone can do tarot how they want. I'm a secular atheist and scientist who thinks it's somewhere between a meditation tool and parlour game...
...but introducing LLMs into your reading is demonic and will taint you spiritually beyond repair.
I learned that aroflux is a thing. Perhaps when I'm feeling like I might be aro I actually am and when I feel like I might be allo I might actually be that too.
typing this out to keep myself accountable
voice training
i've been doing voice training for about a year and a half. our public system pays for 5 trans-related specialist sessions per calendar year so i've had 9 sessions with a speech pathologist over that time. even since my last session (9 months ago?) i've improved my target voice quite a bit and i do really like where it sits now. but i still have a rough time with two main things - endurance (keeping the voice up for a whole day or for consecutive days) and normalisation (making it my automatic/default voice to use).
my speech path gave me some advice and i've tried to look online for tips as well (please provide any if you have more 
) and i think the former just comes down to doing lots of practice. which sucks absolute ass. the latter requires me to change my internal monologue voice β i've been trying to do this for months and had no success.
soooo i'm thinking maybe i can record a little self-coach audio playlist for myself and listen/respond back to. it should make sure i'm doing my vocal warmups and that i can do the rest of my morning crap without reading off a resource booklet. my other hope is that listening to my fem voice over and over again drills it into my brain enough that it can be my internal monologue voice as well. it's obviously gonna be a bitch to hear myself talk everyday but idk exposure therapy or something?
Yeah for me, endurance came from just consistent practice. And after I hit where I wanted I just did it all the time as much as possible. Now I wake up and its just the voice I have, which if you had asked me a year ago I wouldnt have believed it was possible tbh β‘ Oh also, alcohol and caffeine can fuck with your voice and vocal chords too. If youre at a night out and you had coffee then drinks, dont feel bad about your voice not being at the target you want (no ones is).
My own internal monologue doesnβt have a voice to it, nevermind having any kinds of quality, its more like soundless words? So I guess I never struggled with that. It sounds the same to me inside my head as it did 10 years ago, 20 years ago. But regardless, when I speak I sound how I wanted to!
definitely encountered the night out voice, i only really go out with close friends so it's not as bad though. god i dream of being able to wake up with my fem voice, hopefully one day. does consistent practice = consistent use or more so practicing specific sounds/patterns outside of regular use? it's been a while since i've run through exercises but i do have to use my voice daily for work
the internal monologue thing is strange! i know everyone's works differently but mine definitely has sound to it and kinda matches up to where my automatic voice currently sits. i can actively read a sentence in a different voice but it takes effort
I consistnetly practice 30 mins a day, working intentionally and focused on my little checklist of voice femme things. Pitch variety, tongue placement, higher pitch, soft palette up, SVOT, you know the drill. Otherwise, I just talk and maybe have a little background awareness of what I should be doing now. Before I was more aware and it took more conscious effort and attention even talking casually. But it just got less and less over the course of a few months and now I don't! I still practice daily though.
yeah i think i've run through all of those before, just never packaged it into a routine for daily practice (except SOVT but that's simple). do you do 30 minutes in one go or like 3x 10 minute sessions spread throughout the day?
Right now its relatively easy cause I do 30 minutes one straight shot during or after dilating lol. Before recovery, I would set aside time before or after work and do 30 full minutes.
I am sad. I think I fucked my legends z-a save. The DLC missions are gone, probably because I had some problems with the emulator and opened the game without the dlc after starting the missions. I put the dlc back on and nothing happened. So I'm just locked out of the DLC content.
I have an older save from like 8 days ago, but like, uh I kinda had idk, 20 hours of gameplay or something. Maybe I'll just pkhex all the pokemons I caught onto the older save, because most of the time was spent completing the pokedex anyway, so I'll have almos everything except the missions I had done.
Oh no that sucks!
It does. But I just edited my PokΓ©mon over to the old save and I'll just play the end of the main story again
I need everyone to know I'm a weenie
dysphoria complaining
trying to wear a shirt after shaving my chest is top 5, maybe top 3 most unpleasant experiences ever 
I bought trans colored monster cans (1 white, 1 pink, 1 blue), that counts as coming out right?