A weapon?
this post was submitted on 12 Mar 2026
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Bills
Have you been to a restaurant lately? It's the bill, the bill makes it an angry meal. The free toy in your happy meal makes it cost more. The last thing we need at home is more plastic junk.
Fox News
A current news headline
Loaded handgun, where my fellow americans at?
Door dash receipts
a catheter bag of piss
Indigestion
A coupon good for $5 off your next purchase of 4 sticks of 16gb RAM.
Butcher’s nails
Bed bugs
A shot
Empty food containers. McDonald's fries container with no fries, a big Mac box with no burger, and the one toy you absolutely didn't want out of all the possibilities.
Shame and regret.
A tool. Generally a hammer, but an awl, hatchet, saw, or scribe will do as well. Maybe even a paint pen or novelty oversized permanent marker.
Sounds like someone has woodworking on their mind
Not really, I just can't expect an angry meal to come with a plasma torch, tannerite, or mag drill with carbide annular cutters, can I?
A broken toy.
Jizz. Cold, hard jizz. In a ball.
A brick
Wet socks
weapon
A soiled finger bandage.
A puzzle with one missing piece.
Fox News
A knife. Or maybe something really annoying, like a QR code that goes to videos of Mike Johnson talking
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A bill
A stubbed toe or a hangnail.
Bees
Or dogs with bees in their mouth and when they bark, they shoot bees at you?
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A beer, hopefully.
A knife
Homework
Gravel. Just sit there and eat your damn gravel, kid.
A note saying the line cook prepared your burger with one of the pickle slices in his ass.
These hands
A shiv.
6-pack of Natty Ice
Small Chinese toys painted with "slightly" radioactive paint.
they come with foods that do not match the advertisement
McDonald’s food.
A Glock
MD 20/20
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