this post was submitted on 29 Mar 2026
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


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The post got deleted later on, and sadly the Wayback machine was unable to capture all the comments:

https://web.archive.org/web/20230629152756/https://lemmy.world/post/440073

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[–] SlurpingPus@lemmy.world 19 points 8 hours ago (1 children)

How is the instance of that community located on web.archive.org?

Anyway, the answer the OOP was looking for is sugar.

[–] kif@lemmy.nz 3 points 1 hour ago

Not certain, but I'm guessing it's something to do with how archive.org archives. I'd say it probably captured some JavaScript which uses window.location.host, which would resolve to the original (say lemmy.nz) on the original page but web.archive.org on the snapshot.

[–] tixnou@feddit.cl 34 points 10 hours ago* (last edited 10 hours ago) (1 children)

Is it really a shitpost if it's about not shitting? Wouldn't it just be a post?

[–] Sunflier@lemmy.world 3 points 4 hours ago

Its a shitty shit-post. No. That wouldn't work, because its not a post on the quality of the shit post. A shit-shit post? A shit^2^ post?

[–] xerxos@feddit.org 77 points 11 hours ago* (last edited 11 hours ago) (3 children)

Oh, I think this is a post of a home-shitter ( someone who only shits at home, not at someone else's home, not in public toilets and definitively not in nature ) who tries to go on a multi-day travel. Rather a than getting over his mental block, he tries to prep his body to not shit for 3 days.

Poor soul.

[–] Apytele@sh.itjust.works 14 points 7 hours ago* (last edited 5 hours ago) (1 children)

have had IBS my whole life. hearing people say this is like hearing people say they only breathe at home. they just. hold their breath. until they get back. Shit WILL exit my body when I'm away from home and I generally prefer it to be in a toilet.

[–] mediOchre@sh.itjust.works 12 points 5 hours ago (3 children)

i'm at the complete opposite end of the brown spectrum. i poop on average once a week, at most twice a week, thrice if i ate something bad. i have a fecalysis scheduled for today and so far it's been 3 hours of me unsuccesfully forcing my bowels to move lol

Have you tried magnesium? You can get it in a lot of different foods. Just look up what foods have it. You can also take magnesium supplements. I used to be like you, and once I started taking magnesium it got me to go regularly like everybody else.

[–] yabbadabaddon@lemmy.zip 3 points 2 hours ago

A very cold apple juice + a very strong espresso will turn you into a propelled vehicle in about 30minutes. Hope you read this early enough.

[–] Life_inst_bad@lemmy.world 1 points 4 hours ago

A Poop one a week is totaly fine but if you're unsuccessfully trying for a bowel movement/poop for 3 hours something's not right. A more fiber richt diet might help. Also drinking enough water helps. Mabe get something like a squatty-potty or channel your inner rat king.

[–] FinjaminPoach@lemmy.world 35 points 11 hours ago (1 children)

I used to be a home shitter, i used to even be a home pisser at school age, but then i started drinking a healthy amount of water.

I am so so glad i've gotten over the mental block.

[–] FishFace@piefed.social 3 points 1 hour ago

At the school I went to if you shat at school someone would bang on the cubicle door and laugh at you. Caused some definite problems for me

[–] daggermoon@piefed.world 14 points 11 hours ago (1 children)

Or someone engaging in three days of hardcore anal.

[–] einfach_orangensaft@sh.itjust.works 8 points 10 hours ago (1 children)

uh then thats the wrong plan for sure, for that its more about eating the right things at the right times, if done right that can make like 8h of each day usable without going hungry

[–] NannerBanner@literature.cafe 8 points 7 hours ago (1 children)

Whoah, share that wisdom with the rest of us. I'd just like more regularity in my life. (and don't tell me to eat more fiber. I eat enough fiber. Beans are cheap, and cheap is important right now.)

I feel thats very subjective to every person due to different digestion speeds, but its all about knowing how your body will react do different food, drinks (mostly coffee) and physical activity. Eating portions that will basically go out in one go, while the next one is far enough up and sold enough to give you time. Normal pasta with cheese gets me good results. Like if you had your last meal around 18:00 last day, get a full night of sleep, have some coffee, do a little sport, get it all out at lets say at 10:00, then have the next meal of pasta...you got yourself a 8h time slot for fun.

[–] DudeImMacGyver@kbin.earth 85 points 12 hours ago (5 children)
[–] EpeeGnome@feddit.online 5 points 4 hours ago* (last edited 4 hours ago)

I was there, Bootleg. I was there 3 ~~thousand~~ years ago. I was there the day the patience of Lemmy failed. I mean, come on mizu6079, just tell us why you need to avoid pooping for that long!

But yeah, that happened right after I started using Lemmy. I'd been commenting for less than a week, and my first post was a "Chewy, we're home" meme about how all the memes on the topic made me feel as a new user. That account's long dead now, but apparently lemmy.world still has my post https://lemmy.world/post/560966. Federation is neat.

[–] rando@sh.itjust.works 36 points 12 hours ago

Feels like it was only yesterday

[–] Mim@lemmy.zip 21 points 12 hours ago (1 children)

So was I.
Although my account back then was on a now dead instance. 😔

[–] DudeImMacGyver@kbin.earth 9 points 12 hours ago (5 children)

I think I was on kbin.social

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[–] JetpackJackson@feddit.org 11 points 11 hours ago (3 children)

I remember it but I don't remember the ending

[–] EpeeGnome@feddit.online 10 points 5 hours ago* (last edited 4 hours ago)

OP commented cheerfully on all the memes about him, but still refused to elaborate. Then he disappeared for the week, as expected. I can't remember for sure, but I thought I recalled him returning briefly asking for advice on dealing with severe constipation, getting annoyed that everyone still only wanted to talk about how his week went and what the hell this was all about, and then he disappeared for good. I assume he's likely still around under a new identity and he just sighs and clicks away every time this is brought up again.

[–] idegenszavak@sh.itjust.works 26 points 11 hours ago (1 children)

IIRC OP disappeared, without an update. The most sane guess I read was that they were going to the Hajj, the Muslim pilgrimage to Mecca, they live in tents during that

[–] jballs@sh.itjust.works 1 points 6 hours ago

I think it was a joke about him going on that Titanic sub that imploded.

[–] DudeImMacGyver@kbin.earth 3 points 10 hours ago

I don't think there was one.

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 5 points 10 hours ago

i remember. I think that was one of my first days. I had helpfully unhelpful advice, like DONT DO IT MAN or EAT CORN if i know me

[–] Ilovethebomb@sh.itjust.works 88 points 13 hours ago (2 children)

Are fursuits a pain in the ass to get out of or something?

[–] Sanctus@anarchist.nexus 45 points 12 hours ago (3 children)

Some of them have ass flaps.

[–] hanrahan@slrpnk.net 2 points 4 hours ago

is that for easier outsies or insies ?

[–] gigastasio@sh.itjust.works 56 points 11 hours ago (2 children)

Which are exclusively for the convenience of using a restroom when necessary and absolutely no other reason. None.

[–] NannerBanner@literature.cafe 8 points 7 hours ago

(most) Fursuits are way too expensive to muck up with biological matters. I think the fursuiters I know would smile, close their eyes, and gently pat you for your joke, only to grow aghast as they realize the reality of the suggestion of something that could fuck with their gigantic investment.

[–] user224 4 points 10 hours ago

Unless you consider murrsuits a subset of fursuits. Those will have... strategically placed holes.

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 7 points 10 hours ago* (last edited 10 hours ago)

yeah but then there won't be appropriate structural support for a dragon with a fat ass to have a tail you can swing around like a feather boa for 27 years they been doing it now. [edit: swear to your god 27 years that fursuit survived]

i had to climb out through the neck because i was a dipshit and made it that way

i'm starting to realize why the other high school kids assumed things i just like making art okay

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[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 50 points 12 hours ago

"You're full of shit, buddy."

"Yes, but that's not relevant to the discussion."

[–] Korne127@lemmy.world 20 points 12 hours ago (3 children)

I remember it

I still wanna know the reason…

[–] porn_was_never_the_real_issue@fedinsfw.app 25 points 11 hours ago* (last edited 3 hours ago) (1 children)

Pooping on toilet that wasn’t my own was a huuuuuuuuuuge problem until I ended up in the military… the first two weeks sucked but then you kinda just surrender and let the poooop flow. Nowadays it’s more of a convenience to poop on my own porcelain throne.

[–] Bluescluestoothpaste@sh.itjust.works 4 points 11 hours ago (2 children)

I guess most people have that experience in kindergarten lol you never pooped in school ever??

If I wasn’t prairie dogging a shit in school then no, but sure, to avoid poopageddon I might have had to do things to survive… 😆

[–] NannerBanner@literature.cafe 6 points 7 hours ago

I'm pretty sure I made it from elementary to nearly the end of high school without having to go at school. There's just way too much opportunity for people to fuck with you when you're in a stall.

[–] Broadfern@lemmy.world 10 points 11 hours ago (2 children)

I think someone speculated that it aligned with a religious pilgrimage trip that had a lot of similarities.

[–] emeralddawn45@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 6 hours ago

But why do they only need to hold it for 3 days, not the whole 5?

[–] morrowind@lemmy.ml 11 points 10 hours ago (1 children)

Hajj? That was my guess too. The timing lines up

[–] Echolynx@lemmy.zip 7 points 10 hours ago

Immediately my first guess once I read "air conditioned tents".

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[–] TropicalDingdong@lemmy.world 20 points 12 hours ago

Some say they're still not pooping to this very day...

Yeah idk i feel like not eating and drinking a juice once every few hours is the obvious answer but idk shit about nutrition tbh

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