Got it. Show up to work so you can kiss your bosses ass often and in person so that they give you a promotion solely based on your in person ass licking.
Sounds to me like a broken system that promotes based on the wrong metrics....
A place to discuss positive changes that can make work more equitable, and to vent about current practices. We are NOT against work; we just want the fruits of our labor to be recognized better.
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Got it. Show up to work so you can kiss your bosses ass often and in person so that they give you a promotion solely based on your in person ass licking.
Sounds to me like a broken system that promotes based on the wrong metrics....
Only way your gonna get anywhere is if you eat ass
Love it when they state so clearly that promotions are a byproduct of office politics, not actual work performance.
This isn't exactly news.
But it also misses what a "promotion" means in theory (more autonomy and control, resources to pursue projects, underlings) versus what it means in practice (a token title change and a small raise with a ton of extra responsibility in an underperforming section of the firm).
So much of how you make progress in a business is to turn lemons into lemonade and sell that lemonade to your bosses.
Does linkedin they also have instructional infographics on how to get a raise or promotion by blackmailing or extorting your boss?
sleeping with the boss if you are a hot secretary
Everything in that meme is categorically untrue and complete nonsense.
Year 3: From your home office, you spearhead multiple high level projects which triple the billable hours of your department. You are not in the office enough to lick the asshole of your manager so Bob the intern gets the promotion. Bob will be paid entry level salary and really knows how to get the tongue deep in that brown hole.
Year 4: Enough is enough. You quit that stupid job and secure a job with a company that values performance based promotions and raises. No one knows anything about your projects and when you leave they whither on the vine.
Year 5: You run into Bob at the pub. He says management converted the office to AI and everyone got fired.
Year 6: You chuckle when you drive by that company you used to work for and find the building is now for lease and the company is in bankruptcy.
Year 1: "incredibly productive"
Year 5: "not about the work"
I love how they freely admit that it has nothing to do with being good at your job and everything to do with schmoozing.
Like that's really the purpose of the company... manufacturing schmooze, so we need good schmoozers
"You got the promotion, yet somehow your quality of life is shittier because you are spending 1/4th of your net pay on gas and eating out and child care and you had to get rid of your dog because you are not around enough to properly handle an animal, plus you have 10 hours less free time during the week because of your commute."
And let's be fair, no one is getting the promotion.
Year 1: incredibly productive
So if productivity is up why are we going up hybrid in the first place?
If it isn't about the work then TF is it about?
I go to work for MONEY. You pay to make you MONEY. For me to make you money, you need me to WORK
It is about the work.
Now pay me more
It's about an AI generated sense of accomplishment.
It's not wrong, but what it describes is ethically wrong in my opinion. Raises and promotions are less about work performance and more about performative theatre. Being chummy with management is often a better predictor of upward career trajectory.
Any decent manager knows better, but many managers became such by schmoozing their way up, so the cycle of incompetence continues.
A raise with no promotion = more pay for the same responsibilities.
The last point in year 3 sounds divine.
Also at the end of it all they went for a 4 day work week, on top of the raises.
I quit 2 jobs that had a RTO. One was Salesforce when they acquired Slack. The other was another software company that I still have an NDA with.
I'm never going back into the office. I rather make less money.
What's interesting is that I'm actually making more money doing remote because I don't need to commute or pay for lunches or happy hours anymore. Actual time spent at work calculated, I'm making 40% more $.
lol what a load of bullshit
I’m sure there is a little truth to it sometimes but one big thing this ignores is that many of us have always had remote coworkers because our employer has multiple offices in different cities, countries, and continents around the world. I’m not worried about someone who’s in the office with my boss passing me by because that’s a tiny minority of everyone we work with anyway.
Interestingly, this is also why WFH has held up at the company where I work. Even when you go in to the office, you spend half the day on zoom. Our company has consolidated floors, closed whole offices and entire campuses to reduce the amount of real estate it pays to maintain. There’s a lot of savings in it for them. And our CEO has said that he likes how remote work makes it trivial to get the entire leadership team together for a conversation because they aren’t all flying around the world constantly, inaccessible for days at a time because they’re traveling. They do make in person visits, but don’t live on planes like they used to. They also did the math and they exceeded their 10 year goal for climate reduction overnight just by going to remote.
There are so many benefits for the company as well as the employees that I’m really confused why some companies go all RTO. Probably they just don’t have good systems in place to know who’s doing their job. We do.
Happened to me... Except that before last step I quit.
Left a job of 10 years, project lead senior engineer, because fuckers FAFO'd an RTO. Of a team of 5, I was one they expected to stay because I was "close to the office". I was the first one to find a new, full time remote job.
Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.
LinkedIn is such wanker filled trash
I find it interesting how "the promotion" is an end in itself. No context, no details, just "the promotion". And you didn't get it! Tsk, tsk, tsk.
This "promotion as next obvious thing you want" needs to die. I don't want to go manage people and have told my manager that I'm happy in my current role and I don't want a promotion. He was quite happy to know he did not have to worry about that.
Of course, because promotion is the only way to get ahead, by taking on more responsibilities and managing other people, god forbid you'd get a raise just for being really good at what you do.
Not having a conversation with my supervisor for months at a time is literally the dream.
If I didn't have to explain the same exact shit I did last week in the 4th different way and have you still not understand, BUT still want to...
I appreciate that you want to understand, but I recognize you won't and that is okay. You don't need to know the details to take credit for the work. Your insistence to understand is wasting all of our time and most of my productivity.
The secret to this is not believing in the promotion fairy.
If you want a promotion, apply for it at another company. If you get it, awesome, if you don't, try at a 3rd company.
At my current job, the agreement is I do the job you hired me for, and you give me the money and benefits we agreed upon.
Whoever came up with this has probably always used 'optics first, actual results last' in their shitty career so far.
Year 3: I get a new job that values my output instead of my physical location.
Year 4: I still laugh about the morons in managment.
Funny how, even in their weird masturbatory LinkedIn fever dreams, the person still ends up going from working in office five days a week, to four.
So apparently all of this was still worth it.
Promoted twice since I last saw my boss in person. I asked him if would see any issue himself or for the company if I relocated myself back across the country closer to family; he was confused as to why I even asked.
He's not even a particularly good boss in most ways, but tons of people want to work for him because he stays the fuck out of their way.
he stays the fuck out of their way.
That's like, 70% of good management.
All I see reading this is that managers and CEOs have never reached the object permanence phase of brain development, and need to be constantly visually reminded their employees exist or they'll never promote them regardless of the work they do.
But then, I guess no manager of a multi-office company has had a team member in another location prior to COVID, so how could they possibly have planned for what to do in that situation.
With the comic style plagiarized here, I fully expected throwing a baby to be one of the steps...

nobody connects to it the four days
WHAT THE FUCK ARE THEY TALKING ABOUT I HATE THIS WORLD
I imagine most of this is actually true for a lot of companies. Not because it's a good or even sensible model. Because most companies are mismanaged due to rampant nepotism, among many other issues.
What percantage of managers you've met had any idea what they're doing?
Or you can skip all that and leave after year 2 and get a better paying job.
Well ok then, in their own words, managers are incompotent morons who lack object permanence and have no idea how to gauge the usefulness or productivity or worth of any employee... without being able to invade their personal space and randomly question them.
Replace them with LLMs, LLMs would do a better job, these people don't deserve to be paid anything, they do literally nothing useful that a hopped up autocomplete algorithm can't do to the same effectiveness.
Ah ... a participation trophy based business strategy.
Don't to to the office. People who think up shit like the above are there.
They don't show the alternative where he spent the commuting time applying for jobs.
That's a lot of words to say "Office politics is important."
Remote workers know this. They aren't necessarily looking for a promotion, with more responsibilities, although everybody wants more money. Working remotely can already feel like a promotion.
And if I had to come in to the office a couple of days a week, I'd make sure that at least one of them was on the same day as my boss. Scheduling your office days against your boss' seems like you are deliberately avoiding them. If I were the boss, I'd certainly take it that way, and make sure we cross paths at least once a week.
But the remote worker has already made the calculation that working at home has advantages that outweigh promotions, and perhaps even raises. If they can get their 40 hour job done in 10-15 hours at home, they can devote that extra time to another job, or their hobby, or family, or training for the Olympics, or something.
We need a new plague.
Hopefully they learned from recent history and do it right this time around.
I'm fully remote but I still have meetings and chat with my coworkers and boss all the time. I guess I'm doing it wrong 😅
🤮