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submitted 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) by Posadas@hexbear.net to c/chapotraphouse@hexbear.net
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[-] JohnBrownsBussy2@hexbear.net 82 points 8 months ago

Place your bets:

A.) Intra-police-gang conflict.

B.) A hilarious training accident.

C.) They knew too much.

D.) They all saw a bag of fentanyl, inducing psychosomatic asphyxiation.

E.) He's back...

spoiler

[-] FourteenEyes@hexbear.net 33 points 8 months ago

PUNISHED DORNER

[-] NotErisma@hexbear.net 32 points 8 months ago

[timesplitters theme song starts playing bass boosted]

[-] FlakesBongler@hexbear.net 21 points 8 months ago
[-] NephewAlphaBravo@hexbear.net 17 points 8 months ago

FUCK EM UP SPACEMAN

[-] NotErisma@hexbear.net 5 points 8 months ago

I'll take the next elevator

[-] ShimmeringKoi@hexbear.net 6 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

There are ghosts everywhere!...

Something hilarious must have happened here!

[-] NotErisma@hexbear.net 6 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

A ghost gun??!

I know what you're thinking, and you're right!

[-] ReadFanon@hexbear.net 26 points 8 months ago

There's gotta be some corruption or serious misconduct charges that were being laid against these officers.

[-] a_blanqui_slate@hexbear.net 26 points 8 months ago

Dorner was a warrior, from the land of the burning sun.

[-] IzyaKatzmann@hexbear.net 12 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

I think this is a song reference, to Roland the Headless Thompson Gunner, in case anyone cared.

The first line is something like:

Roland was a warrior, from the land of the midnight sun

[-] NephewAlphaBravo@hexbear.net 17 points 8 months ago

they got Pontypool'd by the word "fentanyl"

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[-] SorosFootSoldier@hexbear.net 47 points 8 months ago

This is the sheriff's department with the internal gangs, right? Yeah, totally suicides.

[-] Posadas@hexbear.net 47 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

We totally investigated this, no need to look into this any further.

[-] ikiru@lemmy.ml 32 points 8 months ago

Ah, yes, just 4 unrelated suicides all by (former) coworkers on the same day.

Must have just been Suicide Vibes Day again.

[-] Frank@hexbear.net 8 points 8 months ago

It's not completely implausible. The LASP has I think 30,000k henchmen, and Cops have a high suicide rate.

[-] ikiru@lemmy.ml 20 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

4 in a month, I'd believe it. 4 in a week, a bit strange.

4 on the same day and it's LASD? I highly doubt it's a coincidence.

[-] Frank@hexbear.net 7 points 8 months ago

Valid. It's just as likely it's some kind of fucky gang execution.

[-] ikiru@lemmy.ml 8 points 8 months ago

Is LASD not included in the fucky gang category? Haha

[-] Frank@hexbear.net 6 points 8 months ago

In this specific case the LASD has numerous gangs operating within the corps of LASD deputies. So a distinction needs to be made between the LASD as a whole and the smaller groups within it.

[-] ikiru@lemmy.ml 6 points 8 months ago

Oh, true, true. I meant it as the smaller gangs in LASD but you're right.

mondays amirite

[-] ColeSloth@discuss.tchncs.de 17 points 8 months ago

No. It's not plausible at all. It's incredibly not plausible. There's around 700,000 police in the US and on average one cop out of the entire country kills themselves every three days.

To say that three or four cops/sheriff's from the same department unrelatedly all killed themselves on the same day is not plausible at all. They just hit their entire states yearly average in a single day. Only a dumbass would think "its plausible", or even possible, and the only way around that would be if they all knew each other and had planned this all out.

[-] Darth_Reagan@hexbear.net 11 points 8 months ago

Only a dumbass would think "its plausible"

Kind of unnecessarily rude. It is statistically possible for this type of thing to happen, even if a more sinister and non-random reason seems very, very likely.

[-] Frank@hexbear.net 5 points 8 months ago
[-] AOCapitulator@hexbear.net 6 points 8 months ago

are you disagreeing? not sure how to read this

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[-] aaro@hexbear.net 46 points 8 months ago

A source close to the investigation indicated the deaths are believed to be unrelated.

people call these fuckers for wellness checks and to solve crimes 🙃

[-] emizeko@hexbear.net 33 points 8 months ago

A source close to the investigation indicated the deaths are believed to be unrelated.

hasan-ok-dude

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[-] NotErisma@hexbear.net 40 points 8 months ago

lol fuck them pigs

>LASD

And their lil pig gangs

packwatch

[-] FALGSConaut@hexbear.net 37 points 8 months ago

It's incredible that they all shot themselves in the back of the head with the same gun, worst case of suicide I've ever seen

[-] comrade_pibb@hexbear.net 36 points 8 months ago

Alternate title: LA sheriff dept announces four new good cops

[-] Evilphd666@hexbear.net 36 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)
[-] Rom@hexbear.net 35 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)
[-] principalkohoutek@hexbear.net 29 points 8 months ago

Reminds me of the underage sex trafficking-related officer suicide that happened a few years back in Oakland

[-] HumanBehaviorByBjork@hexbear.net 28 points 8 months ago

there's easier ways to stop being a cop, but who am i to judge

[-] zifnab25@hexbear.net 28 points 8 months ago

Found dead in his closet, having asphyxiated after shooting himself six times in the back of the head.

[-] captcha@hexbear.net 27 points 8 months ago

Killed themselves with a shot to the head while in a burning car?

[-] Frank@hexbear.net 26 points 8 months ago
[-] DickFuckarelli@hexbear.net 24 points 8 months ago

Some BODIES are having a case of the Mondays.

[-] emizeko@hexbear.net 6 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)
[-] redfern45@hexbear.net 17 points 8 months ago

Not my problem

[-] RyanGosling@hexbear.net 11 points 8 months ago

Place your bets now:

  • they found the CP vault
  • the cops reported abuses to internal affairs
[-] sooper_dooper_roofer@hexbear.net 6 points 8 months ago

This is why I say the only good cop is a dead cop

It is simply a factual statement

[-] sooper_dooper_roofer@hexbear.net 7 points 8 months ago

To elaborate:

if there ever was a good cop, they are dead

if any given cop is dead, this is always good

[-] anticlockwise@hexbear.net 8 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

Perhaps there are spirits in the air.

[-] BennyHill500@hexbear.net 7 points 8 months ago

When you try to become the fictional good cop so your colleagues turn you into the real version

[-] HexbearGPT@hexbear.net 6 points 8 months ago
[-] barrbaric@hexbear.net 4 points 8 months ago
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this post was submitted on 08 Nov 2023
142 points (100.0% liked)

chapotraphouse

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