Place your bets:
A.) Intra-police-gang conflict.
B.) A hilarious training accident.
C.) They knew too much.
D.) They all saw a bag of fentanyl, inducing psychosomatic asphyxiation.
E.) He's back...
spoiler
this post was submitted on 08 Nov 2023
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chapotraphouse
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PUNISHED DORNER
[timesplitters theme song starts playing bass boosted]
IT'S TIME TO SPLIT!
FUCK EM UP SPACEMAN
I'll take the next elevator
There are ghosts everywhere!...
Something hilarious must have happened here!
A ghost gun??!
I know what you're thinking, and you're right!
There's gotta be some corruption or serious misconduct charges that were being laid against these officers.
Dorner was a warrior, from the land of the burning sun.
I think this is a song reference, to Roland the Headless Thompson Gunner, in case anyone cared.
The first line is something like:
Roland was a warrior, from the land of the midnight sun
they got Pontypool'd by the word "fentanyl"
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This is the sheriff's department with the internal gangs, right? Yeah, totally suicides.
We totally investigated this, no need to look into this any further.
Ah, yes, just 4 unrelated suicides all by (former) coworkers on the same day.
Must have just been Suicide Vibes Day again.
It's not completely implausible. The LASP has I think 30,000k henchmen, and Cops have a high suicide rate.
4 in a month, I'd believe it. 4 in a week, a bit strange.
4 on the same day and it's LASD? I highly doubt it's a coincidence.
Valid. It's just as likely it's some kind of fucky gang execution.
Is LASD not included in the fucky gang category? Haha
In this specific case the LASD has numerous gangs operating within the corps of LASD deputies. So a distinction needs to be made between the LASD as a whole and the smaller groups within it.
Oh, true, true. I meant it as the smaller gangs in LASD but you're right.
mondays amirite
No. It's not plausible at all. It's incredibly not plausible. There's around 700,000 police in the US and on average one cop out of the entire country kills themselves every three days.
To say that three or four cops/sheriff's from the same department unrelatedly all killed themselves on the same day is not plausible at all. They just hit their entire states yearly average in a single day. Only a dumbass would think "its plausible", or even possible, and the only way around that would be if they all knew each other and had planned this all out.
Only a dumbass would think "its plausible"
Kind of unnecessarily rude. It is statistically possible for this type of thing to happen, even if a more sinister and non-random reason seems very, very likely.
Cool story.
are you disagreeing? not sure how to read this
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A source close to the investigation indicated the deaths are believed to be unrelated.
people call these fuckers for wellness checks and to solve crimes 🙃
A source close to the investigation indicated the deaths are believed to be unrelated.
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lol fuck them pigs
>LASD
And their lil pig gangs
It's incredible that they all shot themselves in the back of the head with the same gun, worst case of suicide I've ever seen
Alternate title: LA sheriff dept announces four new good cops
Reminds me of the underage sex trafficking-related officer suicide that happened a few years back in Oakland
there's easier ways to stop being a cop, but who am i to judge
Found dead in his closet, having asphyxiated after shooting himself six times in the back of the head.
Killed themselves with a shot to the head while in a burning car?
Some BODIES are having a case of the Mondays.
:mondays:
Not my problem
Place your bets now:
- they found the CP vault
- the cops reported abuses to internal affairs
This is why I say the only good cop is a dead cop
It is simply a factual statement
To elaborate:
if there ever was a good cop, they are dead
if any given cop is dead, this is always good
Perhaps there are spirits in the air.
When you try to become the fictional good cop so your colleagues turn you into the real version
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