this post was submitted on 05 Feb 2026
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What culture are we going to be for the aliens who discover our remains ten thousand years from now?
"This is Trash Planet, former home of the Trash Aliens. They seemed to really, really love making trash."
Would aliens in 10000 years even be able to tell the difference between trash and ... well, not trash? They'd probably just think that we were really into plastic. Which isn't wrong - I literally bought a plastic mixing bowl this week (it was that or steel, and I hate the noise of steel bowls).
mixing bowls are the fucking worst
plastic: scratches really easily, probably toxic, environmental nightmare
ceramic: heavy af, breaks easily
glass: heavy af, breaks easily
wood: literally porous, pain in the ass to clean, can't go in dishwasher, and you have to oil it like a fucking engine
steel: heavy, dents easily, your kitchen is STOMP! now
(I think I recall a STOMP! performance played on PBS when I was a kid in the early '00s where they used primarily steel bowls but couldn't find a clip)
How dare they. This is Planet Dirt, not Planet Trash!
Planet Plastic Ocean.
we really did name the planet Dirt 🤦♀️ you'd think we could have at least called it Home or some shit
It was a ritual fetish act.
We're leaving a soil layer with radioactive isotopes, microplastics and concrete rubble. You'll probably also find lots of signs of all the earthmoving we're doing
The plastic Miku culture.
Maybe they spot the machines and artifacts left on Mars and the moon and go with robotics or metal poly compounds/alloys. If it's just Earth maybe plastic or concrete or transistors.
Hentai porn
If we're lucky...
The vitriolic nuclear primates