761
This is a Test (lemmy.world)
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[-] Rolando@lemmy.world 251 points 8 months ago

Insufficient information. Need to know the physician's gang affiliation.

[-] ImplyingImplications@lemmy.ca 148 points 8 months ago

Does the patient look like a bitch?

[-] WeirdGoesPro@lemmy.dbzer0.com 52 points 8 months ago

Unconscious and pathetic on a hospital bed? Yeah, kinda. /s

[-] NielsBohron@lemmy.world 28 points 8 months ago
[-] Bahnd@lemmy.world 34 points 8 months ago

ENGLISH! MOTHERF#$KER, DO YOU SPEAK IT!

[Said Mr. Jackson using his inside voice]

[-] SzethFriendOfNimi@lemmy.world 97 points 8 months ago

C. Since it just wants one and I would think the immediate safety of people involves moving it away and then tending to the patient.

Messing with the weapon, checking whether it’s empty, isn’t necessary and you’d still have to move it anyway

[-] DancingBear@midwest.social 38 points 8 months ago

That’s not what Dr Dre would do, fool

[-] Clusterfck 29 points 8 months ago

Shit. Looks like we forgot about him again.

[-] AlbertSpangler@lemmings.world 13 points 8 months ago

HE SPECIFICALLY TOLD US NOT TO DO THAT....

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[-] bradorsomething@ttrpg.network 14 points 8 months ago

Good, you can work in the ER. Healthcare workers are not assumed to know every firearm and how to operate them, even though we are in America.

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[-] pruwybn@discuss.tchncs.de 94 points 8 months ago

This is just like the dumb HR tests that are like "You see a coworker engage in inappropriate behavior. Should you A. Notify your supervisor, B. Punch them in the face, C. Piss on the floor.

[-] LemmyKnowsBest@lemmy.world 27 points 8 months ago

At least the correct answer is obvious instead of a test with vaguely-worded trick questions and ambiguous answers. Those are the tests that make me livid.

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[-] HawlSera@lemm.ee 16 points 8 months ago

I work in a place that's closed off to the public by Federal Law, where you need to badge in, just a janitor, nothing fancy, they make us watch training videos and stuff. They warn us to pay maximum attention, because we'll be barred from the site if we fail, losing our jobs in the process.

And the questions are things like

"Which of the following is safe to drink? A) Filtered Water, B) Literal Poison, C) Lava, D, A School Bus"

It's so blatantly rigged in the favor of the test taker that I suspect they literally wouldn't even have the test if it wasn't a legal requirement.

We also keep getting tested for things that don't even make sense, like recently we were meant to watch a thing on where and when it's safe to take a smoke break.... Despite the fact that tobacco and marijuana are banned form the site and will be confiscated by security if we bring any... So what exactly are they smoking

Oh right, we're meant to be smoking chocolate, forgot the Troy McClure film.

Seriously though, most of my training is entirely irrelevant as they involve scenarios I'd never be in due to the nature of my job, scenarios I'm literally not allowed to be in, or scenarios that don't even exist in the first place..

And the questions are always things like

"If your supervisor asks you to do something illegal should you..." and the answers are non-sequitur alongside the real answer, like - A) Report it to the company hotline for illegal activity 555-555-5555 B) Oppress Women & Minorities, C) Run naked into a blizzard, D) Jump off a cliff and into spikes, or E) Pray to Magi-Chan Sonichu in order to hasten the coming of the Dimensional Merge"

The most subtle examples of this are when they ask a question, and one of the answers is suspiciously and overly detailed, while the others are so overly generic that it's like they wrote the right answer for one, and then just whatever they can think of off the top of their heads.

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[-] fishbone@lemmy.world 75 points 8 months ago

Is this multiple choice or just a suggested series of steps?

[-] dumbass@lemy.lol 62 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

Now I want to see a show where an unsuspecting anxiety ridden Nurse accidentally takes out a mob boss and has to run the gang while juggling their work, love and social life.

[-] Donkter@lemmy.world 19 points 8 months ago

Unironically an unexplored Nic Cage movie genre.

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[-] Hupf@feddit.de 54 points 8 months ago

A. Looks into the barrel with a flashlight

[-] Agent641@lemmy.world 51 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)
[-] rbm4444@lemmy.world 16 points 8 months ago

That's a nice movie script.

[-] Agent641@lemmy.world 11 points 8 months ago
[-] LemmyKnowsBest@lemmy.world 12 points 8 months ago

I like the way you think

[-] cryptix@discuss.tchncs.de 51 points 8 months ago

How about treat the patient 😶

[-] LemmyKnowsBest@lemmy.world 16 points 8 months ago

That's step F, after performing the other steps in the order of DAEBC.

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[-] petersr@lemmy.world 14 points 8 months ago

Look. Doing A-E is going to be expensive enough for the young fella. I don't think he can also afford gunshot wound treatment.

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[-] Etterra@lemmy.world 45 points 8 months ago

F*. Shoot the patient in the head.

*Police version only.

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[-] GBU_28@lemm.ee 42 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

Every medical drill is like this.

"I asses the patient"

"Haha fuckyou they had a katana, you are impaled, and failed to assess basic vitals. They go into respiratory failure. As such you failed america

[-] sheogorath@lemmy.world 21 points 8 months ago

I don't like the DM (⁠。⁠•́⁠︿⁠•̀⁠。⁠)

[-] Agent641@lemmy.world 24 points 8 months ago

"Patient is presenting with chest pain and shortness of breath."

"Roll for initiative."

[-] _sideffect@lemmy.world 39 points 8 months ago

I vote for E

[-] some_guy 39 points 8 months ago
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[-] ZILtoid1991@lemmy.world 35 points 8 months ago

E.

"Don't worry Mr. Patient, I'll avenge you!"

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[-] wabafee@lemmy.world 30 points 8 months ago

F. See if gang member has insurance to cover for his treatment

G. Charge extra for handling firearm

H. Deferred treatment

[-] frickineh@lemmy.world 24 points 8 months ago

Considering that he got shot in the arm, not the face, my real life response would probably be, "really, man? You didn't think you should give this to someone else before ems got there?" That's why I'm not a doctor. Because I'm pretty dumb and bad at hiding my reactions. Also the part with all the blood.

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[-] ArmokGoB@lemmy.dbzer0.com 23 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

Lots of ways to help people. Sometimes heal patients; sometimes execute dangerous people. Either way helps.

— Mordin Solus

[-] FiniteBanjo@lemmy.today 21 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

C is okay but why are we not allowed to put the safety on and safely remove all of the ammunition?

[-] bluewing@lemm.ee 39 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

The general risk assessment is that medical personal don't know as much about firearms as Law enforcement - and LEOs don't know much. And you generally have other things to do that are more important than causing a negligent discharge in the ER.

Beside, do you really want to trust the Triage Nurse with a loaded firearm?

[-] 5714@lemmy.dbzer0.com 25 points 8 months ago

Triage is going to be a bit quicker today.

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[-] _lilith@lemmy.world 29 points 8 months ago

Medical staff arn't trained with guns and they figure there's less possibility of an accidental discharge the less people are touching it

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[-] boatsnhos931@lemmy.world 18 points 8 months ago

All the above except C obviously. Id probably sedate the patient though and see if they got any booger sugar or money on them, they ain't gon need it where they headed. "Knowhatimsayin" -J to the motherfuckin R-O-C

[-] ulterno@lemmy.kde.social 17 points 8 months ago

B.
Specifically at an oblique angle for maximum ricochet.

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this post was submitted on 05 Apr 2024
761 points (98.1% liked)

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