Alpha Male in Critical Condition After Accidentally Touching Unopened Box of Tampons : theonion

[-] qjkxbmwvz@startrek.website 73 points 3 months ago

Guy buying condoms? He's hoping to get some.

Guy buying tampons? He's definitely getting some.

[-] Mouselemming@sh.itjust.works 22 points 3 months ago

And probably using condoms or he'd be buying pregnancy tests instead

[-] nilloc@discuss.tchncs.de 11 points 3 months ago

Have the republicans banned birth control in your state already?

[-] sin_free_for_00_days@sopuli.xyz 1 points 3 months ago

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RvWQ4K5vwSk

[-] DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social 6 points 3 months ago

Single dad erasure!

[-] I_am_10_squirrels@beehaw.org 5 points 3 months ago

Next week

[-] Crackhappy@lemmy.world 2 points 3 months ago

He is determined to earn the name "Red Beard".

[-] MutilationWave@lemmy.world 3 points 3 months ago

Earn your red wings yet?

[-] TheImpressiveX@lemmy.ml 41 points 3 months ago

Stay strong brother, praying for a swift recovery.

/s

[-] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.world 28 points 3 months ago

Instructions unclear, sent horde of Swifties to recovery room.

[-] Dadifer@lemmy.world 35 points 3 months ago

Um, the picture clearly indicates that the box was OPEN. He ded

[-] ThrowawayPermanente@sh.itjust.works 26 points 3 months ago

Nurse, this man neds 50cc's of swagger, stat! And go make me a sandwich, because I'll turn gay if I go into the staff kitchen.

[-] BarrelAgedBoredom@lemm.ee 20 points 3 months ago

Fuck, he's crashing! Tell respiratory to prepare a cigar smoke nebulizer. Set up a tren drip! Nurse, I ordered that casual misogyny an hour ago, where is it?!

[-] Thassodar@lemm.ee 22 points 3 months ago

Nurse, I ordered that casual misogyny an hour ago, ~~where is it~~ did one of you females mess up the order again?!

FTFY

[-] ettyblatant@lemmy.world 7 points 3 months ago

I'm so sorry, sir! All I found in the women's cabinet was blatant misogyny, all of the casual emergency/accidental misogynies are a week late because I am ON MY PERIOD!!

[-] Jimbabwe@lemmy.world 19 points 3 months ago

And now they’ve got him deep throating a fat, girthy, breathing tube?! That is like.. HELLA GAY!

[+] the_post_of_tom_joad@sh.itjust.works 14 points 3 months ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

[deleted]

[-] flicker@lemmy.world 13 points 3 months ago

A friend in high school heard me and the girls whispering (one of whom was his girlfriend). When he found out one of us needed a pad or tampons and we were seeing who had some, he got excited for the chance to go to the store to get them for us, because he said that buying tampons is the same as screaming, "I have a woman!!!"

I hope that guy is happy, wherever he is. He was a kind soul.

[-] lime@feddit.nu 6 points 3 months ago

and then use the tampons to avoid leaving blood traces

[-] Visstix@lemmy.world 6 points 3 months ago

I'm mostly worried about which one to grab

[-] RebekahWSD@lemmy.world 3 points 3 months ago

This is why I always wrote down very precisely what pads I needed for my husband to grab, or just took a photo and sent that.

[-] fl42v@lemmy.ml 9 points 3 months ago

Tnx, the funniest thing I've read in a while

[-] mtpender@lemmy.world 9 points 3 months ago

Honest question, WTF is going on over in America?

From my POV as an outsider looking in, your whole political system has gone mental. What happened to just governing and campaigning with common sense? How the hell did the truth become optional? Why is every issue a "culture war" issue? I can't wrap my head around it.

[-] sin_free_for_00_days@sopuli.xyz 8 points 3 months ago

As someone on the inside of the US...I don't know. We've always had a pretty strong strain of anti-intellectual idiocy, but the past decade or two has just been bizarre. The ugly hate and willful ignorance is embarrassing, scary, and really demoralizing.

[-] Thebeardedsinglemalt@lemmy.world 7 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

When interviewed, a Friend of the victim said: dang bro, this beast would usually just smash a 6er of Busch light, blast some rock music and he be back to clam-slammin' in no time flat!

[-] Kwakigra@beehaw.org 7 points 3 months ago

The tampon market has been neglecting men for as long as it's been around. When are we going to see "rough and tumble tampons for tough guys" so we can finally get some respect?

[-] jaggedrobotpubes@lemmy.world 4 points 3 months ago

Those are for girls.

[-] uhmbah@lemmy.ca 1 points 3 months ago

Women?

[-] Blazingtransfem98@discuss.online 2 points 3 months ago

!egg_irl@lemmy.blahaj.zone

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