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[-] PKMKII@hexbear.net 52 points 3 weeks ago

It only makes sense that the only major religion to be born in America (I’m not counting all those splinter sects of weirdo evangelical branches) would have becoming a small business entrepreneur start-up of godliness at the core of its theology.

[-] Doubledee@hexbear.net 30 points 3 weeks ago

Right, Mormons are the American equivalent of Roman Catholics for Rome, the synthesis of Christianity with its imperial context taken to its logical end

[-] peeonyou@hexbear.net 21 points 3 weeks ago

but wasn't scientology created in america too?

[-] CarmineCatboy2@hexbear.net 14 points 3 weeks ago

yeah but that one is just slavery

[-] CliffordBigRedDog@hexbear.net 9 points 3 weeks ago

i mean so is mormonism lol

do you think those guys just really like sleeveless shirts

[-] CarmineCatboy2@hexbear.net 7 points 3 weeks ago

i didn't know they had those!

[-] PKMKII@hexbear.net 9 points 3 weeks ago

I wouldn’t call Scientology a major religion. No credibly survey or source has ever put Scientology membership globally higher than five figures, whereas the LDS says they have 17 million members worldwide. Which may be inflated, but even if they’re padding the numbers a bit that’s still hundreds of times larger than Scientology.

Scientology is good at being noisy and intimidating and having famous members, but it’s never translated into a real mass movement religion.

[-] FlakesBongler@hexbear.net 38 points 3 weeks ago

Don't forget the whole part about Jesus coming to the United States on a magic submarine, so technically the land belongs to white people because Native people are red because they're tainted by the devil

This to not to be confused with black people being black because of the Curse of Ham

[-] Biddles@hexbear.net 19 points 3 weeks ago

Jesus teleported here, it was the jaredites that came in the submarine

[-] SaniFlush@hexbear.net 19 points 3 weeks ago

Because Ham refused to look at his dad's naked body while he was taking a bath, got it.

[-] GrouchyGrouse@hexbear.net 14 points 3 weeks ago

Yes, the Curse of Ham is not a curse related to cured pork products. That's an Italian curse related to the story of St. Anthony of Soprano.

[-] frauddogg@hexbear.net 3 points 3 weeks ago

[gabagool intensifies]

[-] Wheaties@hexbear.net 8 points 3 weeks ago

Thought it was the Mark of Cain

[-] FlakesBongler@hexbear.net 12 points 3 weeks ago

That made the first vampire

Wait no, that's Vampire: The Masquerade

[-] Frank@hexbear.net 27 points 3 weeks ago

Yes.

Mormon religion is utterly bizarre, and the only stranger thing is that they've found legitimacy amongst Christian Fascists. I suppose Utah was so remote that by the time there was strength to deal with them the will to do so had faded.

[-] William_Nilliam@hexbear.net 21 points 3 weeks ago

I saw some kids who had been kidnapped by their Mormon family rescued the other day so there's still some power they haven't completely bought

[-] SorosFootSoldier@hexbear.net 25 points 3 weeks ago

If I was god I would let my worshipers drink hot drinks for starters.

[-] FlakesBongler@hexbear.net 18 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)
[-] SorosFootSoldier@hexbear.net 18 points 3 weeks ago

This banger was shown right after the anti-union training video.

[-] FlakesBongler@hexbear.net 17 points 3 weeks ago

Who needs heath insurance when hot drinks really get you going?

[-] HexReplyBot@hexbear.net 1 points 3 weeks ago

I found a YouTube link in your comment. Here are links to the same video on alternative frontends that protect your privacy:

[-] MolotovHalfEmpty@hexbear.net 24 points 3 weeks ago

I love the idea of a self-contained bit of heaven for each person. It's so quintessentially American.

'Could heaven be a blissful place for everyone, together?'

No! This is my bit of heaven only! Get off my lawn!

I imagine Mormon heaven is just full of people shooting each other over tree law and fence boundaries, again and again in an eternal cycle.

[-] falgscode@hexbear.net 11 points 3 weeks ago

Mormon Valhalla but it's lawn hoa tyrants battling for eternity is a good bit

[-] peppersky@hexbear.net 11 points 3 weeks ago

I mean I wouldn't want to share heaven with most religious people tbh

[-] Wheaties@hexbear.net 6 points 3 weeks ago

Mormon heaven is actually tiered. There's the very best heaven that's alongside God, and the two lesser heavens for people that aren't quite good enough for it.

[-] Sulvor@hexbear.net 22 points 3 weeks ago

Abrahamic Gods HATE This One Simple Trick

[-] plinky@hexbear.net 22 points 3 weeks ago

they are firm believers in tax exemptions for religious organizations

[-] stigsbandit34z@hexbear.net 20 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

I know a Mormon who recently started working for doterra

Maybe they’re born with it

[-] Cammy@hexbear.net 7 points 3 weeks ago

Maybe it's Maybelline.

[-] FunkyStuff@hexbear.net 19 points 3 weeks ago

It explains a few things.

[-] Erika3sis@hexbear.net 17 points 3 weeks ago

you too can become a god of your own little universe,

Wait, I'm confused, are you... Are you saying Haruhi Suzumiya is a dead Mormon?

Sent from Mdewakanton Dakota lands / Sept. 29 1837Treaty with the Sioux of September 29th, 1837

"We Will Talk of Nothing Else": Dakota Interpretations of the Treaty of 1837

[-] Verenata@hexbear.net 12 points 3 weeks ago

That would explain the scam that was season 2.

[-] operacion_ogro@hexbear.net 17 points 3 weeks ago

If you ever want to re-open a 2,000 year-old argument, ask Mormons why they believe nontrinitarians can be Christians

[-] ComradeMonotreme@hexbear.net 12 points 3 weeks ago

It's also funny because once you know that, you can see the effect on Brandon Sanderson's cosmere books

[-] CrawlMarks@hexbear.net 10 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

That and the effect magic has on the body is how someone who is banned from having caffeine would describe coffee

[-] merthyr1831@lemmy.ml 5 points 3 weeks ago

Mormonism is.. MLM?

🇨🇳🇨🇳🇨🇳🇨🇳

[-] tactical_trans_karen@hexbear.net 4 points 3 weeks ago

Own your own universe!! All you gotta do is buy some galaxies from the next person up in your group, and resell them to the next business partners in your chain, use the proceeds to fund keeping some of that universe for yourself!

[-] autism_2@hexbear.net 3 points 3 weeks ago

I had a vision for my planet and it still fucks, thousands of nerds would be beating down my door for the rights to make a walking sim if only they knew

this post was submitted on 03 Dec 2024
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chapotraphouse

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