I know it is for my anxiety disorder. I'm constantly as afraid that I'm either doing something wrong or someone else doing something wrong is going to ruin my life. It's the most dangerous and boring thing any of us do, and that combination is deadly. At any moment, something could happen and then my car will be wrecked and I'll be in the hospital or dead. Maybe I'll kill someone. Maybe I'll go to prison.

And on and on like that.

YES

When we're planning our family road trip every summer, I specifically map out a route that avoids all major highways and roads. Driving in traffic is Hell on Earth—driving on open roads is like meditation for me. A few decades ago I did a 13 hour stretch and I still remember the experience fondly.

It's absolutely bonkers driving such large distances in America, it's exhausting doing the mental work of driving, I drive only if I have to, and drive just above the speed limit in cruise control in the last lane.

Noise also has a thing on us - we can't continue thinking our thoughts, and I've realized it can be a trigger to my anger.

And it's upsetting when you can see the bigger picture and find all the driving is such a pointless waste of our time and mental resources.

I'm just ADHD but I find I will fully forget what I'm doing for a moment in traffic. Like "oh shit I'm not parked I'm just waiting for cars to move" forget. I have times where I'll be almost home and not remember passing key landmarks on my commute. Very disorienting and freaky.

I think I'd take it over an irritating response, though.

fun story: my bus commute going to work used to take ~50min, but going back home could take over an hour due to different bus routes and rush hour traffic. i always got home tired and i always thought it was bc of the work day

then covid hit, we were immediately told to work fully from home and i never felt tired after work anymore. turns out, the commute was what was making me tired, not working

mind you, I wasn't even driving like you are and even then the traffic drove me mad. so yeah, i 100% see where you're coming from

edit: for context, since most of you seem to be from the us, i live in rio de janeiro, which is still way too car-centric, but not nearly as bad as the usa it seems

it's certainly part of my recovery from burnout (if that's even possible and my executive function isn't just like, permanently stuck like this) to be particularly avoidant of traffic and to be mostly in my home. that said, i find when i'm outside that being a pedestrian near traffic requires a lot of attention and energy, and driving saps me like it used to not. just having to navigate normal traffic is incredibly exhausting.

This is one of the biggest reasons why I don't drive.

There are places where you can get by car-free and are cheap enough that you can have a decent standard of living even with a fulltime minimum wage job. You're in the right region, but probably need a town of 10k-200k that either has a transit system or is bikeable. Or even one of the cheaper big cities.

Packed grocery stores and gyms and traffic that fire trucks can't get through? Sounds more like exurban expanse than middle-of-nowhere.

Yes.

Actually relocated to a big city after living all my life in a rural area where you had to drive everywhere. I started to despise it so much, especially in poor weather. Then one time got into a very close call type of situation in bad rainy weather with my small child babbling away on the next seat and my driving pretty much ended then and there. I was a good driver, used to even do it for a living and never connected how drained I felt after a longer drive to my neurotype until lately.

I am lucky to now live in a place where public transport is so good that I don't have to drive even at work, but the downside is the intense traffic where we live. Constant car noise, constant blinding bright lights when it's dark, constant stress. I miss the rural silence, but not the driving. I truly think I am more sensitive to it than neurobasics.

I absolutely hate being stuck in traffic, it's legit one of my top 5 most annoying situations, and I think that what makes traffic so particularly irritating is the fact that you cannot disengage.

If I get annoyed at something that's going on with my computer or cellphone or even if I'm in a social situation that's getting under my skin, I most often can just get up and walk away to recharge and then come back if I want to. This is obviously not an option when you're in traffic. You're stuck inside the car and there's fuckall you can do, you can't just get out of the car and come back to it later when you're in the mood.

The one thing that I find makes being stuck in traffic less of a torturous experience is having a podcast or audiobook playing. If I have nothing else going on aside from the traffic, my ADHD brain cries in pure agony.

Also, that's a banger of a username you have there, lol

Yes

If I didn’t have to drive I absolutely wouldn’t. I have autism/adhd as well, and luckily I have a job where I start at 5am so traffic is very low but my return trip always has me so drained.

Early in my marriage that caused some trouble but we’ve worked that out now, both of us get some time after work to decompress without having any social obligations to each other.

You sound like me, I feel much more at peace when I don’t have to think about or see the highway/road and as a result spend a lot of time at home. And it seems like people make my hatred of cars a me thing

And the more I think about it, cars are an invention that should’ve been left in the 20th century

I have autism and ADHD and had to really make a concerted effort to remember that traffic is other human beings trying to get where they need to go as well. This sucks but it sucks for all of us. I just try to find a speed that matches the average speed traffic is moving between jamming on their brakes and slamming the gas and just cruise slowly with a lot of space in front of me, hitting the brakes as little as possible so I just feel like I’m making my way there, and don’t have to stress about the gas/brake/gas/brake.

It just makes the whole experience require significantly less brain power and thus less stressful and has really helped me not be incredibly overstimulated for the first hour after arriving somewhere by car.

Yeah my walk to the station I'd go via a busy road and every fiber of my body hated it. I then decided to take a longer route but avoid the main roads and now I enjoy the walk. I hate cars i hate being near cars i hate crossing roads i hate people in the cars i hate looking at cars

My journey to the left began with a passionate hate for cars

I hate traffic more than I hate almost anything else in the world but then when there's no traffic and I have a stretch of open driving my brain gets so bored that it desperately tries to fall asleep.

Why can't I just climb trees all day like when I was a kid?

I personally prefer the longer way around rather than wait on the shorter way in traffic, even if I would be faster going through the traffic…

Yes, but human traffic, like in shops or on pavements, not car traffic. Does that count?

Yes, but I'm pretty sure I would still even if I was neurotypical

I feel like this is universal

Yeah. I recently got a job I really like, but the fact that it's bookended by at least an hour each way of sitting on a cramped bus moving at the speed of a light jog makes me hate it nonetheless. Fucking sucks.

Yes. I refuse to leave the house during normal traffic times. If I can, I go to stores early in the mornin-close to opening time. If a store opens during an atypical time, I avoid it because more people will be out. I didn't return some jeans I can't fit because the store opened during traffic times.