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[-] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 3 points 22 hours ago

Purple but myself. Please myself. Dear gods myself.

[-] KairuByte@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 16 hours ago

Only if you’re a people.

blue, so I would finally have a friend

[-] peteypete420@sh.itjust.works 6 points 1 day ago

If take the purple pill, can I do that to anyone anywhere on Earth? Or just people nearby? Anywhere on earth, the purple. Just nearby, toss up between purple and a weed gummy. Do I know the strength of the weed gummy?

[-] phoenixz@lemmy.ca 5 points 21 hours ago

Even if its nearby... I'd visit every trump rally out there.

[-] xx3rawr@sh.itjust.works 1 points 19 hours ago

This is among the shittiest color combinations for colorblind. I only see two colors of pills: something magenta-ish and something yellow-ish

[-] beefbot@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 points 19 hours ago

I think that’s why they have words along with them? 🤪 (sorry)

[-] xx3rawr@sh.itjust.works 1 points 1 hour ago

Silly me! That is convenient. Btw I'm torn between "Make your crush like you but only as a friend" pill and "Forcing people to poop on command" pill, though I'll probably choose "Forcing people to poop on command" pill because it is sillier than "Make your crush like you but only as a friend" which fits silly ol' me

[-] AgentGrimstone@lemmy.world 6 points 1 day ago

The pink pill is so silly yet can be so useful.

[-] chiliedogg@lemmy.world 7 points 1 day ago

Is the poop something that has to be done in-person?

Does it have to be assigned to an individual, or can you decide that everybody who uses the word 'rizz' regularly will now poop?

Or is it like Death Note where you have to have a specific person in mind? I would totally be down to be the Kira of pants-shitting. I'd be the God of a stinky new world.

Problem is that in the US I'm fairly certain our leaders are already forced to wear diapers. The President who was elected 32 years ago is younger than the President who was elected 2 months ago.

[-] Schadrach 1 points 18 hours ago

To be fair, the president elected two months ago is the oldest asshole to have ever won the office.

[-] chiliedogg@lemmy.world 1 points 5 hours ago

The last 3 elections were the oldest ever

[-] Resol@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago

I love that ability. I always want greedy billionaires and hateful politicians to be made a fool of. Now I can do it with comedy.

No violence and death, just lots of dookies. Oh this is so fun.

[-] SpaceCadet@feddit.nl 11 points 1 day ago
[-] _stranger_@lemmy.world 17 points 1 day ago

I like that it's "Forced". If it was just "make people shit themselves", it would just happen and then they'd wonder what's going on But Forced implies they're fighting it, it implies resistance. That's kinda messed up.

[-] Iheartcheese@lemmy.world 8 points 1 day ago

Well, I just made up my mind.

[-] BoxOfFeet@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago

I hope you have to point at the person for it to work, so they know it's you.

[-] Schadrach 1 points 18 hours ago

I was just assuming it was just Power Word: Shit and would effect anyone up to however many hit dice.

[-] BoxOfFeet@lemmy.world 1 points 8 hours ago

Maybe it's both!

[-] polysics@lemmy.world 37 points 1 day ago

Pink all the way. Rude to some service worker? Poopy pants. Didn't return the cart? Poop. Drive like an asshole? Poop. Politician spewing hateful garbage on national television? Oh you bet you're getting the poopy pants.

I would be The Punisher, only with poop instead of guns.

[-] dance_ninja@lemmy.world 18 points 1 day ago
[-] rob_t_firefly@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

The Poo-nisher. 💀💩

[-] JasonDJ@lemmy.zip 5 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

I've got a shy bladder, a wife, and plenty of weed gummys.

I'll take the purple pill. Took forever to potty train my youngest and that seems like a useful skill.

I'd probably use it whenever I get road rage. Oh, you wanna cut me off? Fuck you. Shit your pants.

[-] naught101@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago

Why is this so funny? It's fucking stupid 😂

[-] Seigest@lemmy.ca 50 points 2 days ago

The older you get the more your going to want that poop command to use on yourself.

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[-] figaro@lemdro.id 20 points 2 days ago

Pink would be politically beneficial. You could legitimately make major progress in the world with that power. Someone who disagrees with you tries to speak publicly? Time to poop. Hell. Just harass them with explosive diarrhea until they notice the trend that whenever they do something political, the diarrhea returns.

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[-] BroBot9000@lemmy.world 155 points 2 days ago

Pink and I would dedicate the rest of my life to making Elon Musk shit himself literally every time a camera is pointed at him.

[-] Alteon@lemmy.world 76 points 2 days ago

Yeah. I got the magenta one years ago. I've been making Trump drop a fucking load on camera for awhile now.

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[-] NewAgeOldPerson@lemmy.world 87 points 2 days ago

Gold made me think of this forgotten greentext.

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[-] Embarrassingskidmark@lemmy.world 14 points 2 days ago

Force people to poop on command - I'd have xin jinping on speed dial

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[-] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 9 points 1 day ago

I already have all these powers... Maaaaan...

[-] Excrubulent@slrpnk.net 11 points 1 day ago* (last edited 15 hours ago)

Are you the person who keeps materialising in my home and screaming "DEFECATE" then disappearing in a puff of fart-cloud?

I've had a leg injury lately and I can't make it to my upstairs bathroom that fast. You have destroyed my stair carpet. The cleaner said it was "unsalvageable" and "honestly shameful". You need to stop.

[-] hperrin@lemmy.ca 9 points 1 day ago

You could probably use that power to kill someone. Pooped to death.

[-] Rakonat@lemmy.world 8 points 1 day ago

That's called dysentery.

[-] volvoxvsmarla@lemm.ee 4 points 1 day ago

I'd take yellow because nothing would change

[-] nifty@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago
[-] volvoxvsmarla@lemm.ee 3 points 1 day ago

Nah, I don't like weed or any of the other options

[-] dumbass@leminal.space 87 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

Pink, you can control any situation with that.

You got some dude coming to attack you with a knife? Point finger guns at him and say "Poop", they poop instantly stopping them in their tracks, confusing the ever loving fuck out of them... Then you do it again while they stare at you, slowly working out it's you doing this.

You walk up to them as they slowly try to retreat from you, you hit them one more time and walk off into the distance, leaving him to try to get home without anyone noticing he pooped his pants, because who's gonna believe him?

[-] ArgentRaven@lemmy.world 57 points 2 days ago

He tries to run, but you slow-walk towards him, chanting "poop!" with every step. His pants are heavy, and blood starts to show through his jeans. "I'll cut your guts out!" he helplessly bluffs. Soon, he crumples up and screams as his guts start emptying into the street; his denim is no longer able to hold the carnage. You see him lying dead at your feet.

You turn back towards the United Healthcare headquarters, and resume your march.

Now, it is finally time to see at what point explosive diarrhea is covered...

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[-] Stalinwolf@lemmy.ca 8 points 1 day ago

I have a debilitatingly shy bladder in public washrooms, and I don't know if pissing loud as fuck would be boon or a curse.

[-] BigBenis@lemmy.world 48 points 2 days ago

Assuming I could force somebody to poop on command with little effort beyond sheer willpower, I would absolutely take it upon myself to dish out petty justice with that power.

I see you being rude to people working in a service job? You get poopy pants.

I see you playing music on your phone or otherwise being obnoxious on the bus or some other public space? You get poopy pants.

Are you driving like an asshole? Following too closely? Cutting people off? Honking the moment the light turns green? Words can't express the satisfaction I will feel in knowing that you're now sitting in your car with the poopiest of pants my power could possibly muster.

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the pink one, thenbevery oligarch will never stop shitting.

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[-] JoMiran@lemmy.ml 56 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

Why would anyone choose anything but the magenta one?

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[-] Breve@pawb.social 21 points 2 days ago

I would take the pink one, then find my least favourite people and make the infinite poop copypasta into reality...

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this post was submitted on 02 Jan 2025
497 points (94.3% liked)

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