this post was submitted on 11 Feb 2025
76 points (92.2% liked)

Showerthoughts

30768 readers
496 users here now

A "Showerthought" is a simple term used to describe the thoughts that pop into your head while you're doing everyday things like taking a shower, driving, or just daydreaming. The most popular seem to be lighthearted, clever little truths, hidden in daily life.

Here are some examples to inspire your own showerthoughts: 1

Rules

  1. All posts must be showerthoughts
  2. The entire showerthought must be in the title
  3. No politics
    • If your topic is in a grey area, please phrase it to emphasize the fascinating aspects, not the dramatic aspects. You can do this by avoiding overly politicized terms such as "capitalism" and "communism". If you must make comparisons, you can say something is different without saying something is better/worse.
    • A good place for politics is c/politicaldiscussion
    • If you feel strongly that you want politics back, please volunteer as a mod.
  4. Posts must be original/unique
  5. Adhere to Lemmy's Code of Conduct

If you made it this far, showerthoughts is accepting new mods. This community is generally tame so its not a lot of work, but having a few more mods would help reports get addressed a little sooner.

Whats it like to be a mod? Reports just show up as messages in your Lemmy inbox, and if a different mod has already addressed the report the message goes away and you never worry about it.

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 

It would solve all their problems.

all 42 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] rah@feddit.uk 5 points 18 minutes ago
[–] pixeltree@lemmy.blahaj.zone 21 points 1 hour ago

The term femcel isn't as universal as incel. Please compare the female dating strategy subreddit to blahaj zones femcel memes community

And to actually answer your question, because many of them don't actually want a partner, they want someone to blame and hate for not having a partner.

[–] Chozo@fedia.io 11 points 1 hour ago

Their problems, despite their claims to the contrary, do not stem from other people not liking them. Instead, their problems stem from them not liking other people. If you put a femcel and an incel in a room together, they would just sit at opposite corners silently wishing death upon the other.

[–] Opinionhaver@feddit.uk 3 points 50 minutes ago

I guess this is kind of like asking why don't ugly people date eachother - because they don't want to date an ugly person.

[–] philpo@feddit.org 4 points 1 hour ago

Possibly they think of themselves as unlovable,are so incompetent in relationships (any, not just a partner/SO)? Or because they just want a slave with a vagina&a silent mouth attached.

When I was younger a friend of mine, for some reason I will never understand, fell for a Incel. They knew each other from Uni. She was/is cute, intelligent, witty, definitely not someone who is unable to find another partner. But wherever loves falls,right. She basically woed him for half a year,was treated shitty (dates ignored, multiple ghosting phases with idiotic reasons like "he didn't like what dress she wore in class",etc). The later confessed that they actually had sex once and it was beyond horrible because he literally told her he did not care for her wellbeing (not pleasure)at all.

After that she thankfully decided to pursue other options. He had a long online rant about how she is a slut for leaving him, etc.

(While our friendship didn't last I know that she is happily married with kids now)

[–] FelixMortane@lemmy.ca 1 points 59 minutes ago

Both are equally intolerable and they don't even want to be around each other.

[–] samus12345@lemm.ee 1 points 1 hour ago

When they do, it's generally a super toxic relationship.

[–] Diddlydee@feddit.uk 32 points 3 hours ago

Because they are mostly awful hate-filled specimens.

[–] gonzo-rand19@moist.catsweat.com 59 points 5 hours ago (2 children)

Most incels and femcels do not meet their own standards of beauty, emotionality, and sociality. This is partly why they hate themselves so much and project that hate onto archetypes like Chad and Stacy. A lot of blackpilled incels genuinely believe they are unlovable and will be forever alone — any partner of those people will not be treated well since there's an inherent lack of trust/belief in the relationship.

Not to mention that depressed/self-loathing people dating each other is a really bad idea and results in shitty relationships and emotional turmoil. Sometimes these couples become codependent and then they're together for years even though they dislike each other. It doesn't necessarily help anyone get better, it often makes it harder to work on yourself because of the "crabs in a bucket" mentality.

[–] SirSamuel@lemmy.world 18 points 2 hours ago

I was thinking the same, but less eloquently.

"Femcels won't date neckbeards, and incels won't date fat chicks"

Yours is much better

[–] Whats_your_reasoning@lemmy.world 15 points 2 hours ago* (last edited 2 hours ago)

My first love fell down that hole. Toward the end of our relationship (he was about 18 years old) he'd started crushing on another girl. When we broke up, they got together. Each of them was a black hole of negativity. I saw what was happening, but with my status as "ex" I knew there wasn't anything I could say or do about it.

She was even more of a downer than he was, which was shocking (his constant negativity was part of what led to our break up in the first place.) They spent five years together, ranting and raving about how horrible everything is, all while living with their respective parents and avoiding getting jobs. He stuck with her, even after they realized they had absolutely incompatible sex drives (she was ace, he was very much not. To clarify - being ace isn't a bad thing. But for him, a complete lack of sex added to his feelings of isolation and distress.)

They eventually broke up, and we started chatting again (she didn't let him talk to me during their relationship.) He eventually went on adventures across the country, learned his love of kink play from a fling with an experienced domme, went to school and gained skills in a field he loves. He's in his 30s now, still upset about the state of the world (obviously), but he's learned to accept what he can't control.

In the end, he's expressed a lot of regret over that relationship. He realized in retrospect how toxic it was and how much it was holding him back. I have no idea how that ex-girlfriend is doing these days, but I'm glad that at least he was able to break himself out of that spiral.

[–] rustyfish@lemmy.world 69 points 6 hours ago

Two sides with unrealistically high standards which they themselves don’t meet. Plus they hate the others almost as much as they hate themselves.

I don’t see this working out, guys.

[–] Stern@lemmy.world 44 points 6 hours ago (1 children)

The incels want vaginas that cook them dinner, and the femcels want girlfriends... well the femcels on here anyhow

[–] RVGamer06@sh.itjust.works 8 points 5 hours ago (2 children)

We should spread femcelmemes to other platforms to reclaim the word "femcel"

[–] ZILtoid1991@lemmy.world 22 points 4 hours ago

Weirdly enough the whole "involuntary celibate" thing originated from a queer woman, then the internet desided to hate her and to "reclaim" the term "incel" to people that are truly alone: extremely misogynistic men.

[–] Deceptichum@quokk.au 7 points 5 hours ago (1 children)

You can’t reclaim a word that’s always meant what it means.

[–] MentalEdge@sopuli.xyz 24 points 6 hours ago

Two people with no game, still means there's no game.

Zero plus zero is still zero.

[–] BrokenGlepnir@lemmy.world 12 points 6 hours ago

The term incel came from a bisexual woman around 20 years ago. I think she started a support group online for it. The problem was that most of the people who wanted help, got it and left. This left... the people who would not be helped and that's what it is. Still the original incel I believe ended up with a woman, it just so happened that she was one.

[–] Fondots@lemmy.world 14 points 6 hours ago (1 children)

Because they mostly all have terrible personalities and would find each other totally unbearable just like the rest of us do.

They also generally don't really want to date any sort of actual human that exists in the real world. They want to date a perfect parody of the opposite sex, incels are looking for someone who looks like Barbie (or whatever their idea of a perfect body type is, some go for a the petite almost childlike look after all) who wakes up looking like she just left the salon, who is totally subservient to all of his wants and needs, never speaks up unless it's to stroke his ego, a perfect cook and maid, an oversexed freak in the sheets, who will bear however many children his twisted ego wants to inflict on the world but never gain a pound or show any stretch marks, wrinkles, or grey hair

In short they don't want to date a real person, they want a real doll who does their laundry and squeezes out children.

And they're convinced that these mythical creatures exist out in the real world but that someone is conspiring to keep them from them, because obviously they're the perfect example of masculinity and why wouldn't these perfect females be flocking to them otherwise?

And I'm not certain exactly what sort of fictitious Superman feels are after, but the same overall sentiment applies.

Or else they're just deeply in the closet.

[–] atro_city@fedia.io 6 points 5 hours ago (2 children)

And what do the femcels want?

[–] pixeltree@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 1 hour ago

Other women to snuggle with mostly tbh

!femcelmemes@lemmy.blahaj.zone

[–] explodicle@sh.itjust.works 1 points 2 hours ago

I think that autocorrected as "feels".

[–] Fecundpossum@lemmy.world 17 points 6 hours ago

There’s a lot more incels than femcels, and they’re all equally insufferable, toxic, and broken.

[–] MoonManKipper@lemmy.world 8 points 6 hours ago

Because their problems are nothing to do with not having dates

[–] Vinny_93@lemmy.world 9 points 6 hours ago

I'm not sure but I would guess that there are 'standards' involved. Usually guys who go incel see a physical relationship as some sort of conquest.

They are more interesed in the act than the person. And for that act, they want it to be some sort of achievement so rather than getting to know someone they only go by shallow characteristics.

But usually incels are either physically unattractive or socially (very) awkward or a combination of both, making them unable to complete their conquest. Get rejected enough times and they'll tell themselves the problem lies with women in general.

I dunno about femcels, mostly because I've never seen one irl. I imagine they are also physically unattractive and/or socially awkward so they would never be 'targeted' by incel types.

The guys I knew that fit the profile would also not be too keen on personal hygiene, healthy habits like proper food and drink and exercise and they dismissed pretty much anything mainstream society deems positive. Most of what they say or do comes from a negative place. I can imagine girls don't really go for a guy like that, regardless if they are femcels or not.

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 6 points 6 hours ago

Then what would they have to complain about?

[–] themurphy@lemmy.ml 3 points 5 hours ago

Just because you are an incel or femcel doesnt mean you dont have unrealistisc expectations about yourself. Sometimes, thats their problem to begin with.

[–] atro_city@fedia.io 1 points 5 hours ago (1 children)

Once they see each other, they'll be voluntarily celibate.

Seriously though, I think the lot of them need to be sent to a training camp where they are forced to work together to achieve something doing manual labor. That should be accompanied by frequent sessions with psychologists and done for a few months so that they get used to normal, human interactions. Maybe even with supervised screentime.

They aren't going to get better on their own.

[–] Nurse_Robot@lemmy.world 5 points 5 hours ago (1 children)

That sounds like concentration camps with extra steps

[–] B312@lemmy.world 3 points 5 hours ago* (last edited 5 hours ago) (1 children)

Concentration camps have a goal of eradicating the people in them. These camps would make them normal

[–] atro_city@fedia.io 2 points 4 hours ago (1 children)

TIL boy scouts are concentration camps for kids

[–] HikingVet@lemmy.ca 3 points 4 hours ago* (last edited 4 hours ago) (1 children)

There is a difference between reeducation camps and a concentration camp.

One is to instill propaganda, the other is to carry out the propaganda.

[–] atro_city@fedia.io 0 points 3 hours ago (1 children)

Teaching people how to interact with each other, better mental health, and get fit is "propaganda". Wtf?

[–] southsamurai@sh.itjust.works 4 points 3 hours ago (1 children)

No, forcing people into labor camps is just bullshit. Propaganda has nothing to do with it. It's bullshit, plain and simple.

That's nazi talk right there

[–] atro_city@fedia.io -2 points 2 hours ago (1 children)

Who said anything about forcing? Y'all just get triggered by the word "camp". Newsflash, camp is its own word and not code word for "concentration camp".

[–] southsamurai@sh.itjust.works 3 points 1 hour ago (1 children)

You did

I think the lot of them need to be sent to a training camp where they are forced to work together to achieve something doing manual labor.

Emphasis because your memory of your own words is horrible

You literally said people needed to do forced labor.

[–] atro_city@fedia.io 0 points 39 minutes ago (1 children)

Yes, once they are there! Good grief, are you from the US or something? Your reading comprehension is terrible.

I think the lot of them need to be sent to a training camp

Main clause is about how they get to the camp (sent, but no mention of force)

where they are forced to work together to achieve something doing manual labor.

Subordinate clause described what they have to do once they are at the training camp.

Capiche?

[–] HikingVet@lemmy.ca 1 points 16 minutes ago (1 children)

Who is sending them? And do they get a choice?

Can they leave of their own free will once they get there?

How are they going to be forced to do the labour?

Sounds like you are handwaving some important details.

[–] atro_city@fedia.io -1 points 7 minutes ago (1 children)

Wow, how could I not have an entire plan worked out in 2 minutes? What a shocker.

Should every single comment on the internet have a 5-10 year plan attached?

[–] HikingVet@lemmy.ca 1 points 6 minutes ago

Sounds like you want to put people in a camp and now are trying to weasel out of it.

So how are they being forced to the camp?

[–] DragonsInARoom@lemmy.world 1 points 5 hours ago

Someone's been watching milliania thinker, good man