this post was submitted on 28 Mar 2025
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Programmer Humor

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[–] shirro@aussie.zone 20 points 2 days ago

We tried guys, really we did. The vibe coding was working but it was sabotaged by liberals and Canadians. The only option is to end social security and put the poor and elderly into workhouses or send them to the shower blocks.

Boomers gonna love how this turns out.

[–] shadow 8 points 1 day ago

Someone please make a backup

[–] deegeese@sopuli.xyz 128 points 3 days ago (2 children)

It would be funny except for all the old people who are going to stop getting checks and find out Musk closed their local SS office.

[–] arschflugkoerper@feddit.org 56 points 3 days ago (1 children)

I thought they were working on establishing ss offices

[–] cyrano@lemmy.dbzer0.com 37 points 3 days ago

Agreed. But my first thought was

[–] thr0w4w4y2@sh.itjust.works 32 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Calling it now - it will be written in such a way that Musk’s motley crew will be required to maintain it or update proprietary closed source components at extreme cost forever - practically guaranteeing he will always have full access to the data and be able to charge what he likes for any changes whoever takes power after Trump is gone.

[–] tiefling@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 points 1 day ago

It's going to be written using vibe programming

[–] Xanza@lemm.ee 82 points 3 days ago (1 children)

If there's one thing you want in a website used by almost 75 million beneficiaries it's a platform hastily put together by a crack team of geniuses--that don't password protect databases--"in months."

This is gonna go very very very poorly.

[–] affenlehrer@feddit.org 17 points 3 days ago

Well maybe the beneficiaries can edit their benefits themselves?

[–] AnarchistArtificer@slrpnk.net 50 points 3 days ago

This is going to be such a ridiculous disaster that it'd be entertaining to watch it go to shit — if it weren't such a critical system they're fucking with.

[–] wise_pancake@lemmy.ca 54 points 3 days ago (2 children)

I've been party to dumping legacy systems and lift & shifts a few times.

Good fucking luck.

Knowing nothign about this, a project like this would take at least 2 years even if you are dropping a ton of use cases and dependencies.

[–] arotrios@lemmy.world 9 points 2 days ago

Agreed (context: same legacy system work, 20 years), although given the size and scale of the tech debt involved, I'd peg it at 5 years if you had a team of 100+ COBOL developers.

10 to do it right.

Once you start dealing with databases older than SQL and languages older than C, things get funky real fast.

[–] MyTurtleSwimsUpsideDown@fedia.io 25 points 3 days ago (4 children)
[–] wise_pancake@lemmy.ca 9 points 3 days ago

That takes me back

[–] cyrano@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 2 days ago

Every time I watch it, I giggle 🤭

[–] thejml@lemm.ee 8 points 3 days ago

How does that have less than a million views? My team and I quote/use/reference it so often.

Yes. Because they'll store everything in MongoDB.

[–] Sludgehammer@lemmy.world 33 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Can't wait to hear how the blockchain will factor into this redesign.

[–] cyrano@lemmy.dbzer0.com 52 points 3 days ago (2 children)
[–] CosmicCleric@lemmy.world 17 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (1 children)

Years are made of months … Good read https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Mythical_Man-Month

More than just a good read, that's one of the project/programming Ten Commandments.

Can't tell you how many times over the decades I've had to argue with project managers about that.

~This~ ~comment~ ~is~ ~licensed~ ~under~ ~CC~ ~BY-NC-SA~ ~4.0~

[–] Semi_Hemi_Demigod@lemmy.world 28 points 3 days ago (1 children)

The best way I’ve heard it said was “if a woman can make a baby in nine months, then nine women should be able to make a baby in one month, right?”

[–] tdawg@lemmy.world 18 points 3 days ago

That's in the book :)

[–] Flipper@feddit.org 8 points 2 days ago

Also a good pen is the report, we need three months for this, only to be told each week something else is more important. After the three month the question came is it finished now.

And so 2 Years turned to 6.

[–] IronKrill@lemmy.ca 21 points 2 days ago

This is going to really help government efficiency!

[–] homesweethomeMrL@lemmy.world 41 points 3 days ago (2 children)

Remember when people thought Elmo knew anything?

[–] bitcrafter@programming.dev 3 points 2 days ago

Pepperidge Farm remembers.

[–] CanadaPlus 9 points 3 days ago
[–] RonSijm@programming.dev 37 points 3 days ago (1 children)

We also got fully self driving cars in 2 years though, in 2016....

[–] conicalscientist@lemmy.world 7 points 2 days ago

I'm posting this from Mars colony. Amazing isn't it.

[–] snausagesinablanket@lemmy.world 28 points 3 days ago

COBOL systems, when properly maintained, are highly reliable, with built-in redundancy and fault tolerance.

They can't have that because they want excuses when it goes down and leaves old people to starve and ruin their credit.

[–] Pistcow@lemm.ee 11 points 3 days ago

Basically, a VBA Excel file.

[–] pineapplelover@lemm.ee 8 points 3 days ago

While (people exist) {give no money}