this post was submitted on 12 May 2025
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Slop.

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[–] joaomarrom@hexbear.net 56 points 1 month ago (2 children)

brilliant move, it's double jeopardy so she can't go to jail again for doing another blood scanning scam, right? that's how laws work

[–] Maturin@hexbear.net 11 points 1 month ago

This is just like the movie "Double Jeopardy" which is taught in law schools from sea to shining sea.

[–] daniyeg@hexbear.net 50 points 1 month ago (1 children)

now i would trust that company with my blood sample. they can't run the same scam twice that would be too on the nose.

[–] P1d40n3@hexbear.net 37 points 1 month ago

What do they think I am? An idiot?

[–] huf@hexbear.net 43 points 1 month ago (2 children)

why do they look like that? why did they choose this picture of all pictures to portray themselves? why?

[–] Robert_Kennedy_Jr@hexbear.net 52 points 1 month ago

They saw you from across the bar and think your kidneys would fetch a great price.

[–] came_apart_at_Kmart@hexbear.net 32 points 1 month ago

it's called normaling and all the psychopath millionaires are doing it.

first one to look away gets drained of all their blood, wrapped in 6 mm plastic, and distributed to 14 different dumpsters in 12 different states.

[–] buh@hexbear.net 37 points 1 month ago (1 children)

he has the thousand VC round stare

[–] sweatersocialist@hexbear.net 12 points 1 month ago (1 children)

i was puzzled by how he looked until i looked at her. these two are not humans. definitely some kind of alien or some shit. her eyes look like they’re from some sorr of prehistoric amphibian

[–] LanyrdSkynrd@hexbear.net 8 points 1 month ago

I heard somewhere that her non-human manner was an act. She put on a show of acting like that when around investors and press, but acted differently in private.

Says something about VC's that they want to give their money to subhuman Zuck clones.

[–] LaGG_3@hexbear.net 23 points 1 month ago

What does this one need, two drops of blood?

[–] barrbaric@hexbear.net 22 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] Robert_Kennedy_Jr@hexbear.net 24 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Nah she got 11 years and keeps getting denied an early release. Probably getting some consulting fees from this though.

[–] came_apart_at_Kmart@hexbear.net 13 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

I wonder if they pay her in stamps that she can trade for store materials to cobble together a kit to make cabbage wine using her toilet.

[–] Des@hexbear.net 6 points 1 month ago

more likely is sitting on a pile of ramen noodles and instant coffee to pay for her personal security. you can't get sugar anymore

[–] RNAi@hexbear.net 20 points 1 month ago

"We saw you across the bar and we dig your millions, and blood"

[–] Damarcusart@hexbear.net 19 points 1 month ago (1 children)

These people look AI generated. There's just a lack of human expression and experience behind those eyes.

[–] eyyImwalkin@hexbear.net 8 points 1 month ago

don't be rude they're just white

[–] Blakey@hexbear.net 18 points 1 month ago (2 children)

critical support to comrades holmes and evans in their righteous mission to defraud venture capitalists

Meanwhile I'm just quietly reflecting on the kind of violent crime you could do that wouldn't get you an 11-year custodial sentence. They don't like it when you fuck with their money.

[–] userofnames@hexbear.net 6 points 1 month ago (1 children)

not just venture capitalists; Kissinger (!)

[–] Blakey@hexbear.net 6 points 1 month ago

that fucking whips

[–] ThermonuclearEgg@hexbear.net 3 points 1 month ago

luigi-dance because you either get away with it or don't, there's no in between

[–] KnilAdlez@hexbear.net 17 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

tbf he has acquired someone with a strong knowledge of the business of blood testing

[–] robotElder2@hexbear.net 16 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Am I TV brained or do these two look like yassified Dedra and Cyril?

[–] lil_tank@hexbear.net 4 points 1 month ago

Probably but also yes absolutely right lmao

[–] FunkyStuff@hexbear.net 15 points 1 month ago

Everything under the sun is new once again.

[–] ClathrateG@hexbear.net 14 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (2 children)

What happened the Sunny Balwani?

[–] Llituro@hexbear.net 12 points 1 month ago

sadness died of woke

[–] miz@hexbear.net 6 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

started serving ~13 year sentence in April 2023

[–] RNAi@hexbear.net 11 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Is this the light of his life or whatever she sended on text?

[–] RION@hexbear.net 10 points 1 month ago

Nah that's Sunny (still in prison)

[–] MalarchoBidenism@hexbear.net 10 points 1 month ago

When you say something against scams and they give you that Theranos stare

[–] BodyBySisyphus@hexbear.net 10 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Theranope, not on your life

[–] BodyBySisyphus@hexbear.net 13 points 1 month ago

“This is not Theranos 2.0,” the post reads. “Theranos attempted to miniaturize existing tests. Our approach is fundamentally different. We use light to read the complete molecular story in biological fluids, seeing patterns current tests can’t detect. Not an improvement. A different paradigm.”

See guys, they came up with a totally different idea for this one. It's all about molecular stories now.

[–] tombruzzo@hexbear.net 9 points 1 month ago

Surely this time...

[–] miz@hexbear.net 8 points 1 month ago

human-sized Juicero press

[–] LonstedBrowryBased@lemm.ee 8 points 1 month ago
[–] GnastyGnuts@hexbear.net 8 points 1 month ago

I forget who described her as looking like a "doll inflated with water", but she really does have the uncanny valley sort of look to her. They both do, honestly.

[–] SpiderFarmer@hexbear.net 7 points 1 month ago

Evil universe JT

[–] EllenKelly@hexbear.net 6 points 1 month ago

except this time its blood testing for dogs! Or something