this post was submitted on 02 Jun 2025
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And so, the time came to finally write my tranniversary mega. I had scheduled MONTHS in advance, in anticipation of making a post celebrating a year of being out as a trans person, celebrating the onset of Pride Month (which should be every month but June is also peak egg cracking season trans-hatch), and going over all of the major things that have happened in the past year. I go to write it a few days before, which says a lot, and… I don’t know what to say. A lot of things ended up happening that make this a different kind of post? I haven’t really been on this bear site in a bit, my mental health took a really horrible turn, I had been burning out for months, and to be honest I’m still recovering. The semester is finally over, and I’m still somewhat volatile, especially in terms of my anxiety. Like, existentially bad. There were also aspects of the site that compounded on issues I was having, and the enjoyment was vanishing, so I decided to take my leave. I did end up staying in tracha by the way, highly recommend joining if you haven’t already. Element has many wonderful tools to help with the anxiety that could come with a chatroom, and I know anxiety quite well 😅. Notifications are easy to disable, or enable if need be, I still get DM notifications. Was also able to turn off my read receipts, which was a huge cause of anxiety for me, it takes a lot less energy to lurk, and now I don’t feel a lingering obligation to say something. I’m getting sidetracked at this point, I don’t want to make the intro longer than the rest of the post, so let’s just get into it.

Part 1: Her/Kit's TranniversaryThis place, this site, certainly helped to crack my egg. It’s what got me to create an account in the first place. I had lurked for a bit, maybe a while, on and off. The kind of thing where I wasn’t in the community, but was still looking at memes and news. Starting to notice the community is when I noticed the quantity of trans people on the site, which was of course very cool. It still is. And hearing others speak of their experiences had me intrigued, in the way that trans-related things did, in the way that it all made me feel uncomfortable at the same time. I felt bad about this, despite knowing it wasn’t from a place of fear or hatred of others, but myself. Seeing people existing in that way, talking about their experiences, making internet posts and memes, made me start thinking about myself, and what I wanted, and that traditionally (and even today) doesn’t go well for me. Defense mechanisms kicked in hard, and so I continued drifting and not knowing why, always getting that funny feeling when those topics came up. It was the constant reminder that this site gave me that got me to start thinking, and many people talked about their feelings, their transitions, their experiences (again, yea this is a big one). They sounded so happy, and I wanted to be happy like that, but that did that mean? Was I really trans? And boom, that’s where the trans mega comes in. Taking in more and more, relating to more and more experiences, hearing people talk about HRT, and my egg was on its way out. At first I felt foreign, like a stalker. I didn’t feel real, I didn’t belong, but at the same time, I wanted this more and more. There were surely negative experiences talked about, but the rose-tinted glasses were on, and I saw what I needed to see. As such I created an account, to get to be apart of the community, yes, but also to start asking questions, start talking to people. I created an account, and in still half in hiding half in denial, I made my PFP an anime girl and I used they/them pronouns “for opsec”. The account is long gone, but she/her pronouns were added pretty quickly, then removed for a bit I think, and then added again. I never stopped using them after that (note: gender kind of messed me up for a while, I ran “any” for a bit). From there it was the Luna account, and then, well, me.

What if HRT could improve my voice? Save my hair? I started asking myself many things that started as soon as I heard that HRT was more than just for feels. I didn’t even have a strong grasp of what it was, let alone what it did. I started researching, spending a lot of time researching, not just HRT but trans feelings, experiences, things I would have never said I felt but buried inside? Always there. I excel at burying my thoughts and feelings, so it really was just one more thing. Still working on this today, for what it’s worth, but I like to think I’ve made major progress at this point. Anyways, eventually HRT became the kind of thing where every change sounded good, except for one. The big one. Or should I say big ones? As much as the body could be changed, and made to more of my liking, once these grew in, they’d never leave. That’s right. Boobs. I had major anxiety over them, didn’t know if I wanted them, even. At the time I was still thinking I would be more nonbinary, femboy adjacent maybe. What if I don’t like them? I don’t think I would, and I want to be able to make that choice, have more control over it. So I looked in to SERMs, and after seeing the side effects I decided against it. Not for a lack of looking into it, but there really isn’t a lot of research on them, and so I decided if I was going to start HRT I was going to have to go “all in”. A bit of a time skip, but a few weeks into starting HRT, I was lying on my chest and it felt sore, hurt decently bad. Wondered if it was my shitty lungs again, but it hurt more than straining to breathe. In two areas, to be specific. To this day it was a huge euphoria hit, and from that moment I’ve wanted them as big as I can get them. I say “prog save me” on the regular, and in a more present note, I’m hoping to start in a few days!!!

It was after confirming I wanted HRT, and also had dysphoria, that I admitted to myself that I was trans. I still felt fake, not real, lesser than, and was still figuring out how exactly I was trans, but I was there for sure. A few weeks later, and I started journaling, at first just gender thoughts, but expanding to my whole life. I’ve been doing so for a year as of May 19th, which also means we’re moving fast from here. I didn’t think I would though, the entire point of the journal was to put my thoughts somewhere, because I planned to hide until I changed my living situation. Safe to say the plan was to wait a while, as I planned on remaining in that situation until I completed my education. Luckily, this didn’t last. My mom started catching on too quickly, in other words, I failed to hide it well. I couldn’t at this point, I had to try everything. Getting cuter shoes when I needed shoes again, shaving more often, shaving my legs. It is a huge autism moment, but when she told me about HRT like I didn’t know anything, I went into an infodump about HRT and SERMs. Yep, I’m trans, ma. I had a feeling at least she would be accepting, for the most part. This was 6 days into the journal lol, no time at all. And on this day one year ago, I would come out to the rest of my immediate family, who all took it quite well. It’s pretty great, they love me lots, although my one gripe is when they try to explain gender or sexuality to me. Is there a word for this kind of “mansplaining”, because I need it.

The speed of which I would go about things increased. I had an appointment for informed consent HRT scheduled just two days later, and a little less than a week after that I was on HRT. From there it’s just been my activity on this site. Learning more, talking to so many nice people, and getting to know some amazing people. Spending a lot of time on the gender carousel, hopping off, getting back on, hopping off (it was a wild ride, although I lied when I said it was fun it hurt like hell). Changing genders like I had to change batteries, questioning my sexuality to an obsessive degree (well I did for gender too). Making memes, shitposting, talking life, and many, many vents. It’s been, despite all the turmoil that came with it, my self-ravaging crises, and all of the pain, one of the best years of my life. There was pain, but there were so many happy moments as well, wonderful moments I hadn’t had anything like in such a long long time. Rather than just having horrible depression, I now have significantly less depression, so much less hopelessness, and a much better grasp of control of my own life (although, still working on that too). My anxiety has gotten a whole lot worse, but that’s because I have something to lose, so many somethings. I fear so much, let so much eat away at me, because I actually care now. I want to know who I am, I want to know what I want, and I want to get to know people, live life, leave my little bubble that I’ve been stuck in for as long as I can remember. I’ve made a prison for myself, and I’ve not even worked my way out yet, but the bars have come down. I’m no longer in the cell, and that is a wonderful thing. I care for people so much more now just as a product of caring more about things now. I already cared a lot about people and life as a concept, it’s what radicalized me, but caring for everything else managed to boost that even more. For the people I care about, I care so much. I fear losing them, so much. I probably don’t have much reason to worry, but since when has anxiety been one for reason? Don’t worry, I’m working on it :>

What else to say? Not sure, to be honest. Life moves on, transition keeps going, and I hope my second year is even better than my first! Meeting trans people has been wonderful. Not in real life, community is dead where I live, trust me, I’ve tried, but people on the mega and tracha! You’ve all talked to me in various degrees, but it’s been wonderful talking to all of you. Thanks for reinforcing the fact that trans people do, in fact exist, in a world where I can count the number of trans people I have seen and know offline to varying degrees on my fingers. Going to hope that I can find some stuff to attend and some people to meet this pride month. I only hope to whatever higher power may or may not exist that their sole method of communication is not fucking discord (or instagram, snapchat, etc. for that matter, but I know people fucking love discord and I hate it with a passion. You may say this isn’t relevant, to which I will say, fuck discord.

Part 2: Monster HunterSo you’re probably wondering what in the world the thumbnail is. Let your eyes be blessed by such a holy sight. You witness the Switch Axe, arguably the best weapon in indie studio Capcom’s only hit (and a mediocre one at best), Monster Hunter World. Want to be an axe lesbian AND a sword lesbian? Want to find genderfluid representation in an inanimate object? Just otherwise hate making choices? Just use Switch Axe, it’s both an axe and a sword!!!

I mean, the insect glaive is also pretty nice, and I do like a lot of the weapons, bit aside. As of late, I’ve put Fire Emblem down in exchange for Xenoblade X and the topic of this part of the post, Monster Hunter. Yes, me, the person who has made multiple megathread posts on Fire Emblem has not touched it in months. I am thinking of running an Enbarr Edition (woke mod) playthrough of Crimson Flower though, so I might be back on FE soon, but for now we’re talking Monster Hunter. Oh, and I’m not getting technical. I do not know much about this game, I just know that it’s fun and I want to share some of why that is! I’m not an expert, I could be wrong on some technical things, and yes I am a poser and started with Rise and World… a couple months after Wilds came out. Truly ahead of the curve.

Monster Hunter is an action RPG developed by... you know what, no. Monster Hunter is a fun game where you hunt big monsters. There are many weapons to choose from, the best of which are Insect Glaive and Switch Axe, sorry to the one Gunlance fan lol I feel bad (/j, all weapons are good) and they all play so differently that changing weapons is such a fresh experience every time. Each weapon has so much to it, so many layers, that many players pick one and stick with it like they’re picking a main in a hero shooter. That’s not even mentioning the monsters. I’ve still barely learned what they all do, because they all feel so different. I know what to expect with some of them, but went and fought some I haven’t done in a while and I’m getting my ass kicked, which is of course the authentic Monster Hunter experience.

Character customization (and feline/canine customization!) is very fun, I had a good amount of hours in the character creators alone. So much to choose from, and there wasn’t free changing at the time (mods my beloved) so I really wanted to make it count. Made designs I liked and then stuck with them, haven’t really changed much. Same with XCX, even with the option to change, and hating having to make a permanent decision, I grow attached to my characters, and then it looks weird when they look different. Although, I did turn them into foxgirls, because they are avatar characters and should be reflexive of the player. Inhales... eepawoo!

So many armors to choose from too! I’ll touch modding here as well, but I unlocked all of the cosmetic armors and it’s such fun dressing my character up! Right now, my character in world is running white hair and a pretty nice black coat, it’s giving more edgy, but I like it (also color matching for anything other than white is tough with the fox stuff on world, so sad). On Rise, I have more of a red theme going on, and although nothing is consistent, running full Mizutsune gear is what I’m doing now, and it’s quite fun! Yeah, that too, a lot if not all of the monsters have their own armor sets, as well as their own cosmetic armor sets, and some have multiple! Customizing to your hearts content is key to the authentic Monster Hunter experience. I’ve also added many other mods, mostly QoL but also some fun stuff. None of it is really game-breaking, but I could if I want to, and that’s powerful, but it’s also nice to be able to tweak the game to however I want to enjoy it!

They also look soooooo good. Rise has it’s charm, especially considering it was made for the Nintendo Switch, but World, oh my gosh. Extremely good looking game. Between that and Xenoblade X I have been spoiled for visuals as of late. So atmospheric and immersive, and the environments are so dynamic, and World captures ecosystems so well. Maps are vast, have variety, have verticality, and even just walking around and exploring is such a treat. The fact that monsters can interact with the environment as well, from breakable objects to nests, is just absolutely wonderful.

There’s a whole lot more I could say, or I couldn’t, I can’t put it into words. Very fun experience, very fun playing with others (not randos I have social anxiety even online), and I got World and the DLC for like 16 USD so that was a huge win. So what are you waiting for? Go play Monster Hunter! Can’t play online for free, but getting it cheaper is a hell of a deal. I bring Xenoblade X up here as well, but these games are solidifying themselves in my top rankings, to be honest. Monster Hunter is a blast and I’ve gotten completely sucked in, and I do intend to play and finish Xenoblade X. It’s quite nice playing all of these new and amazing games :>

And that’s where I’ll leave all of you. I’ll interact with the mega this week, but then, I’m gone. I don’t think I’ll delete this account like I said, but I already unmodded from most places and am logging off. Maybe I’ll come back one day. Maybe I won’t. If I did, I’d happily step up and mod both this comm and the disabled comm again. We have plenty here, but I feel genuinely bad about leaving the disabled comm, and well, I hope that in the event I returned you’d all be happy to have me. Honestly if I had a way to isolate the two comms and be in them, I would o7. Not to shill tracha again, but that’s kind of what it is to me. Everyone I talk to on matrix (which is like one person consistently but brain please shush) is from tracha, and it really is a nice space, albeit one with varying degrees of activity but I’m not the one to complain, and so I'm not. Life is tough, energy is low, and I feel exactly the same way. I guess I keep bringing tracha up to drive home the fact that I’m not dropping off the face of the Earth. I’m still here, not cutting myself off and isolating myself, just trying to get a better hold of my anxieties and other mental stuff and my self. The various batteries of life drain fast, but I’ll keep going. I know many feel those drains too, but just keep going and take any time you may need!

Live as yourselves, strive to grow, stay curious, take that extra step for yourselves, and care for not just the other people in your lives, but yourselves as well. We deserve to live, and we deserve to be here, as ourselves, no matter what others might think or say or do.

May you all have a great week, and HAPPY PRIDE MONTH LET’S GO!!! trans-ferret

celebratory measuresbridget-vibe dancing-roach niko-dance lea-caramelldansen reisen-dance kris-dance susie-dance ralsei-dance snom torture-dance dubois-dance kitsuragi-dance


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[–] gaystyleJoker@hexbear.net 5 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (4 children)

hi, does anyone wanna make the mega in the upcoming weeks? if so, reply to this post and i'll add you to the list!

the list as it stands:

PeeNutButtHer (6/9 - 6/15)
oscardejarjayes* (6/16 - 6/22)
GayTuckerCarlson* (6/23 - 6/29)
Eco* (6/30 - 7/6)
Disaster_of_Passion (7/7 - 7/13)
sodium_nitride (7/14 - 7/20)
peanutbuttercupola* (7/21 - 7/27)
BountifulEggnog* (7/28 - 8/3)    

Seryph (8/11 - 8/17)

​ * after name denotes someone who has posted before and will be skipped by first-time posters

load more comments (4 replies)
[–] inTheShadowOf@hexbear.net 1 points 3 minutes ago

It's finally the weekend for me ;_; Does anyone have anything you're looking forward to this weekend?

[–] Arahnya@hexbear.net 2 points 1 hour ago

talking about posture and body alignment stuff

Correcting my gait has been going well, feels like my entire hip/leg/ankle/foot system is cracking / popping and adjusting to being used effectively. I have been trying not to sit in a chair as much as possible, and as a result my pelvis feel less pain overall.

Working on keeping my ribs neutral which means keeping them stacked on my hips (no more sticking my glutes out all day) and not holding my stomach in.

Also learning not to pull my shoulders back, but my shoulder posture seems pretty decent overall.


[–] imogen_underscore@hexbear.net 2 points 1 hour ago

they made HRT free in my country but only for menopausal cis women. really had to go out of their way to make it transphobic. also just had this communicated to me by the pharmacist in such an ignorant way as to be extremely offensive. i fucking hate it here

[–] sodium_nitride@hexbear.net 3 points 3 hours ago (3 children)

What are the dumbest injuries y'all have ever gotten? Mine was pretty recent.

I cut myself because I was using my hand as a chopping board. Like, I held a piece of bread in my hand, then used my brand new bread knife to slice through the bread, and my hand in 1 swift motion.

Good to know that the bread knife works well though. And I do suppose that shedding your blood onto the body of christ (baguette) has to have some sort of symbolic implications. I even have the stigmata now (4 gashes from the serrated edges).

I broke my face bone on the toilet running to pee to get back to ice cream.

Imagined falling down stairs and sorta tried to pretend to and causing me to fall down the stairs and sprain my ankle.

Joked about injuring myself and then jumped off a swing and broke my wrist.

Followed the line between the slabs on concrete while riding a bike into the curb and then stiff-armed the landing and broke my shoulder bone.

[–] GenderIsOpSec@hexbear.net 3 points 1 hour ago (1 children)

nails and foot stuffi used to do a lot of trail running, did a bit of a longer route and my shoes got wet and also hurt my knee so I had to walk back. Longer distance walk in wet shoes caused the skin to basically peel off. I woke up the next morning and left a trail of blood because all the wounds opened as I got up.

I've also lost the nails of both of my big toes like twice, once I just miscalculated how high I had to lift my foot and just kicked a tree root causing the nail to pop off and needing me to stick a needle under the nail to get all the puss out. Another time I kicked a stair and the nail just popped upwards breaking the skin of the toe and causing me to bleed like it was going out of style.

all of these are dumb because they're so easy to avoid catgirl-flop

[–] sodium_nitride@hexbear.net 2 points 1 hour ago

Yeah your injuries are way more horrific than mine.

[–] Arahnya@hexbear.net 3 points 1 hour ago

I did something similar with a bagel recently but only the tip of my pinky.

[–] Mari@hexbear.net 4 points 5 hours ago* (last edited 5 hours ago)

::: spoiler Self hatred, Suicidal ideation I hate myself. I've lost everyone i love because of my own selfishness and obsessiveness and I have no future because im too mentally ill to get a proper education. The gc will be making the decision today on if i can have hrt but they'll most likely rightfully say no because im too unstable. All i do is cause others pain. I deserve to look and be treated like a man, i deserve to have all autonomy taken from me and i deserve to be hated by everyone who knows me. I want to die but every attempt fails because im a fucking coward. I don't deserve to be free from this suffering anyway.

[–] BattleshipPokemon@hexbear.net 8 points 6 hours ago (2 children)

convinced that every mention of the word "misandry" on social media as something we need to all come together to talk about is being pushed by either a seething incel or palantir

[–] Arahnya@hexbear.net 5 points 3 hours ago (1 children)

I use the word incel to describe a type of cis man misogynist who would generally use misandry as a gotcha buzzword.

[–] BattleshipPokemon@hexbear.net 2 points 24 minutes ago (1 children)

it was actually a self described MRA trans woman (fedposting) who prompted this post

[–] Seryph@lemmygrad.ml 1 points 16 minutes ago

Omg is she the one I think she is? The one posting on curatedtumblr among others?

[–] indeed@hexbear.net 9 points 5 hours ago

we need to have a serious conversation about misandry.

why isn't there more of it???

[–] EstraDoll@hexbear.net 7 points 6 hours ago

damn

thinking back to where i was at this time last year

and holy shit i've grown so much as a person i can barely recognize that person i used to be

[–] EstraDoll@hexbear.net 3 points 6 hours ago
[–] gaystyleJoker@hexbear.net 8 points 9 hours ago (2 children)

in honor of pride month i wrote a 2 minute joke about a fetus doing a heist and i'm making people put up with me telling it

[–] AntifaSuperWombat@hexbear.net 4 points 6 hours ago (1 children)

Is that fetus still in the womb? If so, the mental image of a woman pulling up her shirt, something protruding from her belly and the bank clerk suddenly shouting in tears: "Please don’t shoot! I’ll do anything you want.", is honestly really funny to me.

[–] gaystyleJoker@hexbear.net 4 points 6 hours ago (1 children)

the version i'm running now has him rappelling down to steal an ankle-height pile of diamonds

[–] AntifaSuperWombat@hexbear.net 3 points 6 hours ago (1 children)

Yikes. That poor pregnant person just standing there having to play kangaroo every time.

[–] gaystyleJoker@hexbear.net 4 points 5 hours ago

don't worry, it was the last job and then the fetus retired

[–] gaystyleJoker@hexbear.net 6 points 9 hours ago

oh also one hour chip etc who cares

[–] Thallo@hexbear.net 14 points 11 hours ago (3 children)

What the fuck was in the water last year that we were all posting so hard?

[–] Seryph@lemmygrad.ml 9 points 10 hours ago (2 children)

I mean for one the mega didn't really explode that much until July*, and a not-insignificant amount of posters just aren't posting as much or in some cases at all anymore. Not to mention Tracha existing and so on.

(*To be specific, it didn't actually kick off until late-June. I remember since the first "big" thread was the week my ex broke up with me, which I remember since I didn't post in that one, and that breakup happened the last week of June. Those first "big" threads were also smaller than the really big ones later on.)

Personal take on it that I know no one really cares about but me but I want to write out anywaysPersonally I prefer the current pace, it makes it easier to keep track of every post being made compared to the 600 posts a day at the peak of it which became overwhelming after a few weeks. I like to keep track of how everyone is doing and at a certain point it noticeably ate into my energy.

I do miss a lot of that energy though, the supportive feeling and general excitement that radiated in the big days, reading and writing super long posts constantly... I still do the long posts sometimes, like that fuckin 8 post long trans video game characters essay I wrote that like two people read (thanks again Thallo~), but it feels different now that I'm doing it less and get less replies than before (I don't mean to pressure anyone with this, post when you want I don't really care, I just mean that the vibe is palpably different, not better or worse, really)

Honestly sometimes I even kinda miss the Anti-Cishet Aktion days where it was just like 100 posts a week max and everyone posted mainly on Monday to give various updates on how they'd been doing. I felt like I could just talk about how things were going very explicitly and in detail in a way I don't feel as comfortable with nowadays, though that's probably also do to some other personal stuff that's gone on too.

I kinda just feel a bit sentimental about each "period" of the mega, I guess. I miss a lot of the posters who've stopped posting, Ash, Magi, Yor, etc... I really hope they're all doing okay.

[–] buh@hexbear.net 11 points 10 hours ago

I miss a lot of the posters who've stopped posting, Ash, Magi, Yor,

Yeah, I miss those people sometimes as well catgirl-salute Others like cromalin too.

[–] Thallo@hexbear.net 6 points 10 hours ago (1 children)

Honestly sometimes I even kinda miss the Anti-Cishet Aktion days where it was just like 100 posts a week max and everyone posted mainly on Monday to give various updates on how they'd been doing.

Don't know what you're referring to. What was that about?

[–] Seryph@lemmygrad.ml 7 points 9 hours ago

Before there was Hexbear Traa, the main hexbear trans comm was Anti Cishet Aktion and it was where the megathreads were originally. Traa emerged during the big drama with Blahaj.zone as a way to entice other trans people towards Hexbear over it. The megathreads would then migrate to Traa a few months later in January of 2024 when, in the span of a few weeks, the main person posting the megathreads before was busy and couldn't post new ones, so someone else took over and put them up on Traa instead. I think because it had more subscribers? There was like a week or two where the two coexisted and then Traa became the main spot ever since since it had noticeably way more posters and posts. My first post in a trans mega was actually in one of the anti cishet ones, it's one of my earliest comments on this account in fact. Honestly kinda wild to think that I'm somehow one of the older posters here when it comes to trans megas specifically, huh.

[–] buh@hexbear.net 11 points 11 hours ago* (last edited 11 hours ago) (3 children)

I truly believe that was the result of I Saw the TV Glow hatching so many eggs simultaneously lol

I found the first trans mega I posted in and it had almost 2000 posts

[–] Arahnya@hexbear.net 2 points 3 hours ago

That's interesting, it seems like cultural phenomena really drives people to come out. It was similar for me in the 2010's when non binary became popularized.

[–] EstraDoll@hexbear.net 6 points 6 hours ago (3 children)

It's been well over a year and I still refuse to believe that anyone had their eggs crack after mine did

[–] Seryph@lemmygrad.ml 1 points 10 minutes ago

Don't worry eventually you'll be doing the whole trans thing long enough that the babytranses will be incredibly obvious with how they're always asking the same questions and you'll be faced with the weight of how long you've been doing the whole trans thing and the fact that not everyone has yet reached your transition age yet.

[–] Thallo@hexbear.net 8 points 6 hours ago

That was truly the summer of love.

They stopped making trans people after that...

[–] Carcharodonna@hexbear.net 2 points 4 hours ago

waves hand around

[–] Thallo@hexbear.net 7 points 11 hours ago (2 children)

Still haven't seen it 💅

[–] imogen_underscore@hexbear.net 5 points 5 hours ago

didn't resonate with me much personally but it's a pretty movie

[–] TerminalEncounter@hexbear.net 7 points 9 hours ago* (last edited 6 hours ago)

I watched it but it wasn't as meaningful or neat to me as it seemed to be for other people. I transed my gender irl years before watching it, but people who were closeted or eggs seem to find it much more affecting

[–] buh@hexbear.net 5 points 10 hours ago

Gender went woke and went broke!

[–] Wmill@hexbear.net 19 points 14 hours ago

Had to explain to a room of straight dudes why a bidet is good, man I really do be standing out like this. They gonna figure out I'm a queer since I wash my ass. Also had to correct one dude who thought it shot dirty toilet water at you. If I end up being some sort of pipeline for these dudes teaching them how to cook and wash their ass can get an honorary breadtube status?

[–] Wmill@hexbear.net 10 points 12 hours ago

being the friend no one likes is rough but I make it work, just like yamcha

[–] BountifulEggnog@hexbear.net 5 points 11 hours ago

venting, siToday has been awful. Had to leave work early because I couldn't function. It hurts so much. I just want a break. From everything. idk if I'd return. just please stop i can't do this any more.
spoiler self harm heal, feel worse again, repeat. what a stupid, horrible, painful existence this has been. I just want over, done. To not do stupid stuff any more. I'm tired :::

[–] Wmill@hexbear.net 9 points 13 hours ago

My ignorance is astounding and making mistakes hurts but like after I swallow some humble pie and get back to hitting my head against the wall I come out of it knowing more than I did this morning. Think I'm awaking to the process of learning and it's leaving me feeling like not the brightest but driven to learn more tomorrow.

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