this post was submitted on 03 Jun 2025
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Today I Learned

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[–] solsangraal@lemmy.zip 55 points 1 month ago (6 children)

someone, at some point, took the biggest dump in history. and didn't even know it

[–] wildncrazyguy138@fedia.io 8 points 4 weeks ago

My $ is that it’s been someone in the last 30 years who is a big eater with an opiate habit.

They suspected. They couldn't confirm it.

[–] jagged_circle@feddit.nl 4 points 4 weeks ago* (last edited 4 weeks ago)

``Doesn't seem fair if you count diarrhea. All that water weight.

If so, it's probably someone with cholera

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 3 points 4 weeks ago (3 children)

I am currently in process. Haven't stopped pooping for 17 years.

[–] toynbee@lemmy.world 4 points 4 weeks ago

That's probably why the YMCA won't let you in.

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[–] FistingEnthusiast@lemmynsfw.com 23 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Pffffft...

Those are rookie numbers

I can do that in a year when my IBS is flaring up

[–] SatansMaggotyCumFart@lemmy.world 16 points 1 month ago (3 children)

Fisting with IBS, hey?

I thought cooking bacon naked was playing dangerous games.

[–] FistingEnthusiast@lemmynsfw.com 6 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Oh, I'm the fister rather than the fistee

I've given it a shot (I'm no hypocrite) but it didn't really excite me

[–] Rai@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

I’ve never fisted or been fisted but the size of some of my Bad Dragon dildos prolly counts

[–] FistingEnthusiast@lemmynsfw.com 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)

They're surprisingly different experiences

Especially because I can change the shape of my hand once it's in

[–] Rai@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 1 month ago

That’s fair! Dynamic shape is cool, but so are knots and flares!

[–] FistingEnthusiast@lemmynsfw.com 2 points 1 month ago (4 children)
[–] FeelzGoodMan420@eviltoast.org 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Yep. Opened that and immediately exited it.

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[–] can@sh.itjust.works 4 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

Yo wtf. You warned me but I could not have anticipated that.

[–] FistingEnthusiast@lemmynsfw.com 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)

It's definitely a bit unconventional

[–] can@sh.itjust.works 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)

On any other day it would have been the most disturbing thing I've seen all day.

[–] FistingEnthusiast@lemmynsfw.com 3 points 1 month ago

Oh, I have much more extreme content than that...

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[–] GreenKnight23@lemmy.world 14 points 4 weeks ago

You load 3.5 tons, what do you get?

Another day older and deeper in shit

St. Peter, don't you call me 'cause I can't go

My toilet over-flows on the company floor

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 11 points 4 weeks ago

Rookie numbers

[–] cabron_offsets@lemmy.world 10 points 4 weeks ago

OP is full of shit.

[–] TropicalDingdong@lemmy.world 9 points 4 weeks ago* (last edited 4 weeks ago)
[–] Widdershins@lemmy.world 8 points 1 month ago (2 children)

How many miles of feces? Are we talking to the scale of as long as the Panama canal, the length of New York, around the equator, or to the moon (and back)?

[–] TherapyGary@lemmy.blahaj.zone 13 points 4 weeks ago* (last edited 4 weeks ago) (2 children)

The average density of human feces is approximately 1.06 grams per milliliter
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Human_feces

Normal stool (Type 4) typically has a diameter of about 1 to 2 cm http://d2xk4h2me8pjt2.cloudfront.net/webjc/attachments/73/57bbee4-bristol-stool-chart.pdf

Radius = 0.75 cm

Density = 1.06 g/cm³

Mass = 3,500,000 g

Volume = 3,500,000 / 1.06 = ~3,301,887 cm³

Cross-sectional area = π × 0.75² = ~1.767 cm²

Length = 3,301,887 / 1.767 = ~1,868,000 cm = 18,680 m = 18.7 km

So 18.7km or 11.6 miles

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[–] FistingEnthusiast@lemmynsfw.com 9 points 1 month ago (1 children)

That would depend on the tightness of the anus

Are we talking about someone who squeezes out pencils, or a log-dropper?

[–] jagged_circle@feddit.nl 3 points 4 weeks ago* (last edited 4 weeks ago)

Irrelevant. We roll them into ISO standard poo diameter after excretion

[–] PP_BOY_@lemmy.world 8 points 1 month ago

Mom look im finally above average

[–] MushuChupacabra@lemmy.world 7 points 1 month ago

Those are rookie numbers!

[–] FeelzGoodMan420@eviltoast.org 5 points 1 month ago

I feel like I'm trending in line to make at least like 6 metric tons of shit. 3.5 seems low.

[–] itsgroundhogdayagain@lemmy.ml 5 points 1 month ago

I'm going for the high score

[–] Goretantath@lemmy.world 5 points 1 month ago

3 and a half metric shit tons.

[–] Numenor@lemmy.world 5 points 4 weeks ago (2 children)
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[–] FuckFascism@lemmy.world 4 points 4 weeks ago

How much cum?

[–] Worx@lemmynsfw.com 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] SoupBrick@pawb.social 3 points 1 month ago

Was an outlier and will not be included in this study.

[–] HowAbt2morrow@futurology.today 4 points 4 weeks ago

My uncle knocks that out every leap year. 3,5 tons ain’t shit.

[–] Thedogdrinkscoffee@lemmy.ca 3 points 1 month ago

And a smidgeon or three of PFAS and plastics and heavy metals.

[–] eaterofclowns@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Maybe you do; I produce far more feces by replying to comments on the internet

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 2 points 1 month ago

I am the one who shits. 😤

[–] CubitOom@infosec.pub 2 points 1 month ago
[–] Gork@sopuli.xyz 2 points 1 month ago
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