this post was submitted on 26 Jun 2025
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okmatewanker

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No foul language - i.e. French 🤮

Obviously satire, dozy wankers

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[–] Klear@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago

Please put an NSFW tag on this. I was on the train and when I saw this I had to start furiously masterbating. Everyone else gave me strange looks and were saying things like “what the fuck” and “call the police”. I dropped my phone and everyone around me saw this image. Now there is a whole train of men masterbating together at this one image. This is all your fault, you could have prevented this if you had just tagged this post NSFW.

[–] NigelFrobisher@aussie.zone 14 points 2 days ago

If someone does this on the tram I make a point of climbing past them to get to the window seat.

[–] FelixCress@lemmy.world 87 points 2 days ago (7 children)

There’s a free space by the window. But someone’s already sitting in the aisle seat, avoiding eye contact at all costs.You’re left with an awkward decision, do you ask them to budge up?

It is not awkward at all. Tell him to move his backpack (if there is one) and sit there.

[–] lars 1 points 21 hours ago

It’s so outrageous that at some point I will ask to sit where the bag is even if there are empty seats available. I will burn this place to the ground.

[–] BeardedGingerWonder@feddit.uk 18 points 2 days ago (2 children)

If you don't want someone to sit beside you, sit on the window seat then eagerly look at everyone walking past and pat the seat beside you. Nobody wants to sit beside that guy.

[–] cynar@lemmy.world 5 points 1 day ago

This works 98% of the time. When it doesn't, oh boy! You're in for an "interesting" conversation!

Use at your own risk!

[–] LovableSidekick@lemmy.world 6 points 2 days ago

Or if you don't want to do the eager look thing just sit there picking your nose and examining what you dredge out.

[–] Agent641@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago

Stand really close facing him, with your bulge (male or female) at eye level, in silence, and wait.

[–] Demdaru@lemmy.world 15 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I envy your social skills. ^^'

[–] Delphia@lemmy.world 47 points 2 days ago (9 children)

Its actually a lack of them.

"Hey, can you move your bag so I can have that seat?"

Is a profound lack of give a damn about how uncomfortable I make other people. They know what they are doing, quietly signalling that they dont want anybody sitting there. Other people who do have social graces will stand around quietly staring daggers and silently judging, Im just gonna make this shit awkward for the both of us.

[–] PumaStoleMyBluff@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago

I would argue that is a social skill even if not "grace".

[–] FelixCress@lemmy.world 17 points 2 days ago (3 children)

They know what they are doing, quietly signalling that they dont want anybody sitting there.

Why would I give a fuck what they want? They are not entitled to the public space.

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[–] GreatAlbatross@feddit.uk 7 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

Yep, it's the rules of the game.
You just ask politely to move their bag, then passively offer to move their bag for them, then sling the bag onto the luggage rack and sit down.
I've also been known to sit on someone's lap when they refused to move their bag.

(Obviously with the caveat of my tall privilege. It's incredibly shit to ignore someone entirely and hope they go away)

[–] OrteilGenou@lemmy.world 7 points 2 days ago

I'm socialer than a motherfucker, and I would also immediately tell this person to move their bag. I think you may be confusing people with social graces and pushovers

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[–] olafurp@lemmy.world 5 points 2 days ago

I just move in and put my crotch in his face and then say "sorry" and people usually move the bag.

[–] beeng@discuss.tchncs.de 7 points 2 days ago

I go straight there if your bag is on the seat.

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[–] dumbass@quokk.au 51 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (5 children)

Don't cum on the train!

Don't edge on the train!

What do you people want from me?

[–] jerkface@lemmy.ca 4 points 2 days ago (1 children)
[–] neons@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 1 day ago (1 children)

you want him to cum into it?

[–] dumbass@quokk.au 4 points 1 day ago

Like, I can give it a go, see what it's like.

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[–] nesc@lemmy.cafe 40 points 2 days ago (4 children)

You’re left with an awkward decision, do you ask them to budge up? Or do you just accept defeat and stand up for the next 30 minutes?

What's awkward about this situation? Just ask them to move and sit there.

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[–] scroll_responsibly 27 points 2 days ago

'Edgers' are the cheeky commuters invading the National Rail network

Posted on c/okmatewanker

[–] AllNewTypeFace@leminal.space 27 points 2 days ago

The worst are those who edge while rawdogging the journey

[–] JustEnoughDucks@feddit.nl 12 points 2 days ago

This is literally every train in Belgium, I'm pretty sure it has been for a long time. We are anti-social

[–] chemical_cutthroat@lemmy.world 20 points 2 days ago (2 children)

Stand in the isle directly beside them. Occasionally swing a hip into them as you go over a bump. Maybe fart a little bit.

[–] sunoc@sh.itjust.works 9 points 2 days ago

Username checks out

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[–] propter_hog@hexbear.net 20 points 3 days ago (2 children)

So annoying when the guy next to me is edging the whole time

[–] bdonvr@thelemmy.club 8 points 2 days ago

Don't be shy, help out.

[–] monogram@feddit.nl 9 points 2 days ago

Just come on and get it over with

[–] underscores@lemmy.zip 1 points 1 day ago (1 children)

This wasn't a thing in Canada until COVID, we've also have a huge wave of immigration and a lot of immigrants think it's chill to pretend you own public space.

To me, it's the biggest indicator you are a conceited asshole.

[–] FelixCress@lemmy.world 1 points 23 hours ago (1 children)

lot of immigrants think it's chill to pretend you own public space

Of course sweetie, it is all these pesky immigrants fault 🙄

[–] underscores@lemmy.zip 0 points 14 hours ago (1 children)

Not what I was saying, also do you really believe migrants don't have culture clashes when they move to other countries?

[–] FelixCress@lemmy.world 1 points 14 hours ago

Not what I was saying

Precisely what you said.

[–] circledot@feddit.org 15 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I like to sit next to those even if other seatsare empty.

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[–] sgtlion@hexbear.net 9 points 2 days ago

This has literally always been a thing. Who's "invading"???

[–] thirtyfold8625@thebrainbin.org 10 points 2 days ago
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