I get dreams like that too. Most of my dreams are this weird amalgamation of places I've been frequently throughout my life all kinda smushed into one. There's like recurring geography but it's always a mash of different places I've been. So this includes places where I've lived with partners and sometimes they're around. A few nights ago I went into the exterior of my first apartment and the interior was a combination of a house I lived in with 4 other people 3 years later and a farmhouse I'd lived at over 10 years ago with a mix of the people. Dreams are a fuck
this post was submitted on 23 Aug 2025
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Im getting likes and wondering if its cause other people also get this. Cause it would be nice to know. Also if someone wants to make a silent hill ripoff I could totally map it out but only in a video game cause the a door in the middle of a house can lead to an exterior despite no exterior walls in the room. One of the bathrooms for a place I used to work at which is upstairs from a bar I used to go to shows at has a stall that contains the really hilly suburbs one of my childhood friends lived in. Its always in the same spots and I've gotten the lay of the land down pretty good which helps. I've found that my dreams have an amazing shower setup cause for some reason that becomes a full size room with every shower I've ever taken available. If I had money I'd build that room
You're probably missing the idea of her, rather than her explicitly. She was likely the closest thing you had to raising a family maybe or having someone long term to snuggle up to at night.
Focus on the negatives, you broke up for a reason and whatever source of comfort she was for you didnt outweigh the negatives of her other aspects. If she could be mean, it's important to remember that.
I too get lost in the past comforts, and sometimes even play out a fantasy parallel to my current life where I never broke up with my ex and we'd have a kid by now.
These are dark and dangerous waters to sail through, fellow traveller. Stay safe out there
Fffffuck I'm sorry man. That sounds rough.
It's okay, more of an annoyance really, but thanks.
I can't determine if this is a Disco Elysium joke.
Not joking and I've yet to play that game sorry.
It's literally the best game ever made, you won't regret getting around to it
Weird how you think you’re over something and your brain just says “nothing personal, kid” and memory kicks you down a flight of emotional stairs.
Almost all of my dreams a traumatic nightmares, the one's about ex partners are the lightest ones, even if I wake up feeling a bit sad
I had a dream recently my ex and I were being intement - (i hesitate to say 'making love' because they laughed at me and told me not to call it that), and they told me we they didnt want to see me anymore, so I recoiled and they were mad at me for it lol
dreams are silly and i dont care for them.
My dreams with old crushes seem to be meeting up with them and dryly updating each other on our lives. I'd be excited IRL, but in the dreams it just feels like the most mundane thing.
wtf i have had these dreams too
I keep having dreams about being naked in public
I get those but it's never stressful. I'm weirdly rational about it. Like I got here without pants and nobody's made a fuss so what's the big deal?
I have/had someone in my life of similar significance. Reading your post reminded me of her. I even spent half an hour typing something up about it, but then deleted it because I feel like I'd just be talking over you or trying to one up you instead of just let you say something you feel is important.
Me too lately, but daydreams. Maybe it's just the world being so shit we look back on times that weren't as bad?
But after I'm done being in fantasy world I'm like Hell nah, I was right, that sucked! Haha
Honestly I don’t think anyone ever really gets over anyone. They just move on. I feel like I love everyone I’ve ever loved exactly the same amount as I did at the peak of our closeness, even those I had a big falling out with and haven’t spoken to in years. Being conscious of this fact is both kind of beautiful and tremendously painful and embarrassing.
Hey, this is the first time someone has expressed a thing similar to the thing I experience. I don't know what my deal is - I just can't.. unlove a person. Like, I can recognise we can/should breakup and that's the right thing, that's okay. But I can't un-know all I know about their brain and admire their wonderful ways of seeing the world.
Even the one who abused me for years, I recognise that what they did was bad, and that I should do all I can to avoid getting trapped in that again (it was ~5 years ago now), I still have an unshakeable admiration for their personality. They didn't do it out of malice, it was insecurity; But similarly, they didn't care they were hurting me, either.
But not being able to hate them.. I do still wonder if this is a healthy or unhealthy mental thing, I'm still not sure.
There's a thing in the mainstream culture about how it's natural to "hate your ex". I feel real bad for people who subscribe to that. If that's the default position, you are saying your judgement sucks, you misused your time, you got suckered in. And even worse, you will again next time.
If you are getting with someone who only has bad things to say about their exes, be warned: they will only have bad things to say about you. I stay away from people like that. Even just socially it's a bit of a red flag if they only tool a person has to end a relationship is to burn the bridges completely.
Most of my exes were amazing people and I know why I invested the time and intimacy with them. Even though eventually we fell apart, found things not to like about one another, got bored, fought, had bad dynamics, hurt and were hurt, changed, stayed too much the same, had different goals... whatever. It wasn't a waste and they contributed to me as I am now.
Sometimes I think "If I met ______ today, just as they were back then, would I be interested?" Mostly, I would not. Some of them had stuff going on that I now find kind of repulsive. But at the time I didn't, maybe I even liked it. I'll probably never date a slam poet ever again. But I can't bring myself to despise the slam poet, or myself for having enjoyed them.
OTOH there are cases where a person is just so damaging, either because they are outright abusive or by some kind of interpersonal chemistry just push your buttons in a crazy-making way (or you press their buttons). So you might need to put up walls for that. Don't get too nostalgic. Particularly if said person is still floating around in your social life or community.
With a couple of exceptions covered by the last paragraph, any of my old lovers is welcome at my kitchen table. A while ago, an ex of mine with whom I hadn't communicated in years popped up in my messages. Out romantic/sexual relationship had been extremely brief owing to completely opposite and non-complementary goals/needs. But they are still one of my favorite people ever. I was touched that they would reach out in a time of change to ask for some assistance. Just like they had helped me previously, well after we had ceased dating. I'm sure I speak for both of us when I say we would never want to live together, fuck, or even spend much time on a regular basis, but my heart feels warm when I think of them and I am glad we had what we had. It was a real pleasure to catch up and even get to contribute something to their life again. And in the future maybe we dip into each others' lives every so often, or maybe not.
I fail to see how this could possibly be unhealthy.
I have dreams about being in church or school sometimes. Both of those are over a decade out for me. I think our brains are just weird.