this post was submitted on 21 Nov 2025
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Not The Onion

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Another post from betting market company Polymarket read: "BREAKING: Zohran Mamdani to require all New York elementary school students to learn Arabic numerals." The post has almost 14 million views.

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[–] otp@sh.itjust.works 239 points 1 month ago (3 children)

Lmao, I love this kind of stuff. It makes dumb people so angry

[–] bvoigtlaender@feddit.org 133 points 1 month ago (2 children)

I love that too, but I feel like we have to make them smart and not angry :(

[–] PattyMcB@lemmy.world 33 points 1 month ago (3 children)
[–] Pat_Riot@lemmy.today 65 points 1 month ago (1 children)

But you can teach the ignorant.

[–] dohpaz42@lemmy.world 58 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Only if they’re willing to learn. 😢

[–] frunch@lemmy.world 36 points 1 month ago

We are fucked, aren't we 🤔

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[–] javasux@lemmy.world 24 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Angering dumb people makes them vote. And they vote real dumb

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[–] notabot@piefed.social 163 points 1 month ago (3 children)

I just checked with my local school, and they're not just making them learn these arabic numbers, they're forcing them to learn AL GEBRA!!! Sounds like foreign nonsense to me, so I'm starting a petition to have the head fired, and possibly flogged.

You should check with your local schools too. Keep this policically correct woke DEI rubbish away from our kids!

[–] 6nk06@sh.itjust.works 51 points 1 month ago

In universities for computer science they must learn the teachings of the muslim https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Al-Khwarizmi, that's disgusting.

[–] Akasazh@feddit.nl 20 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Don't forget about the dangers of al cohol and candy!

Just like caravans, you remember how those where a thing in American politics once? What ever happened to them?

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[–] blinfabian@feddit.nl 128 points 1 month ago (18 children)

i heard he'll teach kids the "latin" alphabet instead of Amerian one😡

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[–] Treczoks@lemmy.world 122 points 1 month ago (5 children)

In Germany, we have a right-wing party en par with the US Republicans: The AfD. Just as Nazi, just as nuts.

Some time ago, someone riled them up with the "Did you know they teach Arabic numerals in school now?", and quite a few of them blew a lid...

[–] Adulated_Aspersion@lemmy.world 65 points 1 month ago (5 children)

Well, the dihydrogen monoxide that is in your Zuchini is literally an industrial solvent!

Have you seen what dihydrogen monoxide does to pure, strong iron?!? It corrodes iron unbelievably fast! And people just.....consume it in most of their "healthy" foods!

Wake up, sheeple! Stop drinking dihydrogen monoxide!

~/s - this message brought to you by Brawndo, the thirst mutilator~

[–] zergtoshi@lemmy.world 24 points 1 month ago (1 children)

FWIW this is by far less dangerous and aggressive than oxygen, which caused the first global mass extinction when it started to amass in earth's atmosphere (and plays a major role in the corrosion of iron you mentioned).
And yet people tell you to breathe in and out...

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[–] BigBenis@lemmy.world 78 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (8 children)

Next he'll be forcing us all to drink dihydrogen monoxide, a chemical that's known to be fatal to humans under certain conditions!

[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 41 points 1 month ago (6 children)

They literally use that shit to power steam engines! Now imagine what it does to your insides. Nasty, nasty stuff.

[–] Burninator05@lemmy.world 23 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

Dont forget it is a key component in both hydrochloric acid and making nuclear power plants operate.

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[–] SethTaylor@lemmy.world 27 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

A friend of mine ingested a ton of it and died. They found him at the bottom of a lake

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[–] madjo@feddit.nl 18 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Water? like from the toilet?!

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[–] Atemu@lemmy.ml 16 points 1 month ago

Sources claim an up to 100% mortality rate!

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[–] Bronzebeard@lemmy.zip 78 points 1 month ago (3 children)

So, there WAS an onion (or similar) article stating exactly this like the day after he won. So it looks like some of these idiots just ate the onion

[–] ameancow@lemmy.world 24 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

Whole thing is just media hyping up an obvious prank so that the stupidest people start freaking the fuck out, which gets more media attention, which makes us click on links way out here in backwater Lemmy.

This is the uroboros of media that has wrecked our whole society, where all of our impressions about just about anything are being dictated by the smallest, most ridiculous outlier reactions. Remember the kitty litter boxes in schools?

This is what launched flat-eartherism and trumpism and the whole massive "incel movement" that has become a tidal-wave of depressing idiocy, which get more attention for being so disgusting and stupid, which makes people on the other extreme end of the bell-curve over-react, which gets more attention, which leaves normal, passive readers thinking this is how people are really interacting and treating each other, which leads to them also taking up radical or stupid ideas about the world.

It's not that The Onion can't compete with reality, its that The Onion can't compete the vast media empire built on deliberately turning every possible unusual reaction or hot take from random nobodies into headline news. Before panic was monetized, most outlets ignored pranks.

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[–] kadaverin0@lemmy.dbzer0.com 72 points 1 month ago (9 children)
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[–] HobbitFoot@thelemmy.club 71 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Next they are going to find out they are learning other Arabic topics like al-Gebra.

[–] Treczoks@lemmy.world 30 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Or about Mr. Al Kwarizmi (Algorithm).

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[–] frog_brawler@lemmy.world 62 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] SaveTheTuaHawk@lemmy.ca 48 points 1 month ago (4 children)
[–] cabillaud@lemmy.world 17 points 1 month ago (1 children)

She must be an ICE supervisor by now

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[–] mo_lave@reddthat.com 51 points 1 month ago

Every sixty seconds in Communist New York, a minute passes.

[–] Aelis@lemmy.ml 49 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

No, ain't no way, how can this be NOT the onion ?! Come on ! 😂

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[–] RobotToaster@mander.xyz 49 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Fun fact, what we call Arabic numerals are not the numerals used in Arabic https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eastern_Arabic_numerals

[–] huppakee@piefed.social 25 points 1 month ago

Nice, didn't know this! According to the article "The numeral system originates from an ancient Indian numeral system," so i guess confusing names are a feauture of numerical symbols, and not a bug.

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[–] popekingjoe@lemmy.world 48 points 1 month ago (1 children)

The Onion really is competing with reality to come up with good headlines.

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[–] DeathByBigSad@sh.itjust.works 46 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Arabic Numerals have taken over the world! When will this madness stop? /s

[–] HaraldvonBlauzahn@feddit.org 24 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Especially that diabolic number "zero". It is a pure Arab invention. The Romans did fine without it. Then the Arabs introduced zero and we know what happened with the Roman Empire. Now, zeros can be found everywhere - they can even hide in computers. America should really exzerminate these zeros befote it is too late!!

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[–] mlg@lemmy.world 41 points 1 month ago (1 children)

People making jokes about dihydrogen monoxide, and imma be honest, I feel like it should have been the gold standard internet stupidity filter that disqualifies your credentials in any form of discussion because of the insane amount of people that fell for it back when the internet was still new.

If you couldn't handle H2O, you can't be trusted to use the internet seriously lol.

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[–] ScrambledEggs@lazysoci.al 33 points 1 month ago

Again? They do this whenever a nonwhite person is voted into office.

[–] xxce2AAb@feddit.dk 33 points 1 month ago

Jesus Christ, people are fucking stupid.

[–] kulhakki@lemmy.world 28 points 1 month ago

And Al-Gebra too! The horror!

Be ready for a post-victory avalanche of hit pieces against Zohran, with the usual right-wing tactic of absurd disinformation. It doesn't need to be anywhere close to the truth, it just needs to be good at rage baiting low information/gullible people.

[–] JohnnyCanuck@lemmy.ca 23 points 1 month ago

If you want to really scare JD Vance, the more proper term is probably Hindu-Arabic numerals.

[–] TranaCosmica@lemmy.blahaj.zone 21 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Conservatives are fools lol

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[–] hemmes@lemmy.world 20 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

This is like saying he’s going to give our kids ~~hydrogen dioxide~~ dihydrogen monoxide to drink during sports and people flipping out about it.

[–] J92@lemmy.world 16 points 1 month ago (2 children)
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[–] uriel238@lemmy.blahaj.zone 20 points 1 month ago

And then in astronomy, students are being forced to learn the Arabic names of stars (like Sirius, Deneb and Betelgeuse).

[–] HugeNerd@lemmy.ca 20 points 1 month ago (8 children)

The monster! My kids will learn Roman numerals and Greek math that stops at 10000! Like nature intended!

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[–] Lucelu2@lemmy.zip 19 points 1 month ago (8 children)

LOL... as opposed to using Roman numerals? WTAF. I can't even comprehend the stupid.

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