this post was submitted on 21 Nov 2025
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

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[–] psx_crab@lemmy.zip 160 points 1 month ago (5 children)

First one: i analyse sales.

Second one: i automate production

Third one: i'm a fucking idiot

[–] ApertureUA@lemmy.today 26 points 1 month ago (4 children)
  1. I
  2. Am
  3. A
  4. Fucking
  5. Idiot

It doesn't fit

[–] blarghly@lemmy.world 25 points 1 month ago (3 children)
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[–] _lilith@lemmy.world 13 points 1 month ago

well the job is BS so...

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[–] Olgratin_Magmatoe@slrpnk.net 86 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

I write code

(It's still a bullshit job)

[–] Ek-Hou-Van-Braai@piefed.social 70 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] Quokka@quokk.au 42 points 1 month ago (4 children)
[–] okwhateverdude@lemmy.world 17 points 1 month ago (2 children)
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[–] Zozano@aussie.zone 68 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (8 children)

3 people above the fisherman:

  • sales analyst
  • automation technician
  • software engineer

Fisherman:

  • I operate a decentralized, sustainability-focused aquatic-resource acquisition methodology utilizing precision-guided line-and-lure interface systems to facilitate targeted biomass retrieval.
[–] Ensign_Crab@lemmy.world 17 points 1 month ago (4 children)

I think the meme is saying that if you know your job is bullshit, you obfuscate what you do behind a thick layer of corpospeak.

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[–] drath@lemmy.world 59 points 1 month ago (2 children)
[–] avidamoeba@lemmy.ca 46 points 1 month ago

Nice to see you here Mr. President.

[–] VitoRobles@lemmy.today 19 points 1 month ago

Ah, it's nice to meet another fellow customer service rep.

[–] frezik@lemmy.blahaj.zone 40 points 1 month ago (5 children)

Is this really the message we want to send?

Yes, our society makes lots of bullshit jobs. That's because capitalism can only keep people employed by creating bullshit jobs, and unemployed people are six missed meals away from revolution. That is not the fault of the people who have bullshit jobs.

And no, I won't accept "this is just a shitposting sub, lighten up" as a response. This is just another form of kicking down, and it isn't funny. The working class needs solidarity, not this.

[–] VitoRobles@lemmy.today 12 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

When I first saw this (maybe years ago), it was posted on sites to mock this thinking.

Yeah, someone believes it to have made this. But yeah, that person sucks.

[–] SkyezOpen@lemmy.world 10 points 1 month ago

Agreed, but I refuse to extend that acceptance to most consultants.

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[–] Treczoks@lemmy.world 39 points 1 month ago (1 children)

So I either have a bullshit job "I design chips for isosychronous low-latency networks" or a real job "I herd electrons"...

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[–] svcg@lemmy.blahaj.zone 38 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (2 children)

I write code. ✔️ Real job.

I chop down trees. ❌ Bullshit job.

[–] Alcoholicorn@mander.xyz 16 points 1 month ago (1 children)
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[–] merc@sh.itjust.works 37 points 1 month ago (3 children)

Is this a war on being specific?

If a fisherman says "I operate the winch on a bowpicker tuna fishing boat", is that a bullshit job?

If a middle-management yes-man who exists only to fluff his boss' ego describes his job as "I encourage excellence" does that mean his job is no longer bullshit?

[–] alyth@lemmy.world 9 points 1 month ago

"I encourage excellence" - Chef Excellence

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[–] Novamdomum@fedia.io 29 points 1 month ago (3 children)

Extreme physical danger of drowning, hypothermia, severe injury, insane hours, unpredictable income, huge mental and emotional stress in an industry that often damages the environment and is plagued with human rights abuses?

This comic feels like it was written by the fisherman.

[–] ZILtoid1991@lemmy.world 13 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Or one of those boomers, who really wanted AI to replace all the intellectual workers, so they either can be stay-at-home mothers or go to "real manly jobs".

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[–] real_squids@sopuli.xyz 25 points 1 month ago
[–] Grimy@lemmy.world 20 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

I am an aquatic resource acquisition specialist leveraging distributed ecosystem monitoring, real-time biological signal analytics, and manual-mechanical retrieval interfaces to optimize biomass extraction.

[–] P1k1e@lemmy.world 19 points 1 month ago
[–] hOrni@lemmy.world 17 points 1 month ago

"I hate it". Does this count?

[–] cows_are_underrated@feddit.org 17 points 1 month ago (2 children)
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[–] Limonene@lemmy.world 17 points 1 month ago (3 children)

"Refrigerator Wifi Firmware"

3 words, but my job is still bullshit.

[–] bigkahuna1986@lemmy.ml 11 points 1 month ago

So you're the guy responsible for ads? Get him everyone!

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[–] dreadbeef@lemmy.dbzer0.com 17 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] humorlessrepost@lemmy.world 9 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Can confirm this works, since fullstack is a real job, but I can’t describe my frontend bullshit in 3 words.

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[–] BotsRuinedEverything@lemmy.world 16 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] Objection@lemmy.ml 9 points 1 month ago (4 children)
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[–] HenriVolney@sh.itjust.works 16 points 1 month ago (1 children)
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[–] Digit@lemmy.wtf 15 points 1 month ago

I make art.

^ real job.

I get disability benefit trapping me in dependence on the system under threat of impoverishment, destitution, starvation, freezing, if i dare ever attempt to do anything productive, or even look like it, or even not. Paid to do nothing.

^ real bullshit job.

Oh what a great system you have there. >:[

[–] Luvs2Spuj@lemmy.world 14 points 1 month ago (1 children)

My job is bullshit, but my job is not who I am.

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[–] myotheraccount@lemmy.world 14 points 1 month ago (2 children)
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[–] magic_lobster_party@fedia.io 13 points 1 month ago

Generate shareholder value

[–] Truscape@lemmy.blahaj.zone 12 points 1 month ago (1 children)

"Hey look buddy, I'm an engineer. That means I solve problems."

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[–] ethaver@kbin.earth 10 points 1 month ago

Refreshments and Narcotics

(an old joke about registered nurses)

[–] Thedogdrinkscoffee@lemmy.ca 10 points 1 month ago (2 children)
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[–] BilboBargains@lemmy.world 10 points 1 month ago

OPs has distilled his job title from 'political agitation meme technician' to 'shitposter'.

[–] NotASharkInAManSuit@lemmy.world 10 points 1 month ago

I fix things.

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