I am a billionaire… I have 1 billion microplastics in my body
this post was submitted on 23 Feb 2026
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Their parents created so much value for humanity that it overflows to their children.
(capitalist ideologues really believe this)
It wouldn't be much different even for billionaires under 90
Yeah, as far as I'm aware, 100% of them came from at least a middle class family. They start with a fair advantage over the poor still. Most are born to extreme wealth though.
I don't know if forcefem will help but I guess it'll at least be good for diversity
It still weird me out that there are only something like 600 billionaires in the US. This seems like such a solvable problem.
We could easily solve that with just a single guillotine.
Or, hear me out:
Woodchipper.
At 5 minutes per execution, it could be done in just over 2 days. If you wanted to ensure that nobody missed any of the event and limited it to 8 hours per day, you could get it done in 1 week.
You could do it even faster, just assemble 6 guillotines. Then you could execute 72 per hour instead of 12. You'd then be done in 8 hours and 20 minutes.
Special holiday!
Dude, you are living in the past. Band saw and conveyor belt.
Hold on. Who'd build and own the band saw and conveyor belt?
You got any plans this weekend?
I'm no dude, but yes, that sounds absolutely revolutionary. Industrial oligarch eliminationmaxxing!
Apologies!
No probs!
...now that's industrial thinking!..
if we did one per minute, we are looking at about 10 hours of solid thwacks. give or take. im sure we could shave that down by a few seconds per, they are a physically weak people on average. so i imagine we could get it done in half the time if we shave it to 30 seconds per billionaire. and have them all lined up. ready to go.
thats an afternoon. about 5 hours at 30 seconds a pop.
I appreciate the Silcon Valley-esque efficiency calculation but honestly that's not a super high requirement. 5 hours, 10 hours, a week, whatever. No need to speed run this thing. Honestly if we were good in a year I'd be thrilled.
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Hunger games, billionaire edition, the winner gets a quick death.
Imagine if they dropped all their loot upon death, i would love to see the lootsplosion of money, gems, deeds to property, stock folios and legendary/epic rarity artworks & artifacts.
Unfortunately very small EXP rewards as they never levelled up through the grind.
The system we created ensured the wealth is concentrated among a few of us, has always been this way even when monarchs ruled a majority of our population.
Outlaw billionaires, tax them out of existence, and use the proceeds to fund needed social programs like medical care for all and universal basic income.
They can still be richer than 99% of us as multimillionaires, and the more wealth these elites create, the better our society becomes through the tax sequestration - it’s a win win.
I'd prefer abolition of the system entirely that makes this possible. If we just tax the rich, they will be able to reinstate the system however long it takes.
Make it as unattractive for them as possible to even consider working against society's wellbeing. That must mean social ownership of the entire economy, in the hands of all through mutual aid, give-it-forward, communes, and trade unions.
What's the difference between millionaire and a billionaire? About a billion dollars.
They can still be richer than 99% of us as multimillionaires
Miss me with that weak socdem sauce 🏴🏴🏴🏴🏴🏴🏴🏴🏴🏴
It’s an olive branch, but yeah I hear you.
I hear you too but I'm just tired of giving these people more olive branches for them to strangle us with 😮💨
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Plus, we already know it works.
We just need to tweak it to take into account the ways the rich cheat the system.
You had to do research for that?
Here's a counter-example that proves the rule:
- Born in 1992
- Graduated from MIT in 2014 at 22
- Joins a proprietary trading firm after graduation
- Founds a quantitative trading firm in 2017 at age 25
- Founds a cryptocurrency exchange in 2019 at 27
- On the 2021 Forbes "30 under 30" list at 29, and is recognized as a billionaire
- Found guilty of wire fraud and conspiracy in 2023
- Currently in prison
Sam Bankman-Fried got to $1b before 30, and he didn't inherit his wealth (but he certainly started with a lot more wealth than most people). But, the way he managed to hit $1b before 30 was via massive fraud. Without massive fraud, I don't know how you go from an entry level job at 22 to $1b just 8 years later.
I'm fine with taxing the ever-loving shit out of their estates. If the heir class are not fine with that, we can go to OP's suggestion.
History would seem to suggest they are not fine with being taxed as a general concept
in other news, grass is green
The percentage of sociopaths involved with creating a society should never be greater than zero.
Financial obesity is an existential threat to any society that tolerates it, and needs to cease being celebrated, rewarded, and positioned as an aspirational goal.
Corporations are the only ‘persons’ which should be subjected to capital punishment, but billionaires should be euthanised through taxation.
It's against most rules for advocating against certain things, however for educational purposes only I would suggest a slow roast with a barbeque glaze, and if you'd like to put in some effort an apple and sage stuffing could really help bring some flavours out (be sure to remove that giant stick they all have up their arse first, though).
That stick is for the rotisserie!
Remember BBQ derives from French
"barbe à cul" = "beard to butt"
I wonder what the suggestion may be.
I think it involves cutting edge technology.
Probably a headless sever as well!
edit: whoops, *server
I have a suggestion, we should make billionaires pay……their fair share of taxes.
It’s not just this, we need to end all means of them living off borrowed debt. If you own that much money, there is no reason to be borrowing anything from anyone you have more money than
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No shit. And all them have had funds and investments made in their names the moment they were born.
1/2 of all the rich are rich because they were born rich. I lost where I found that statistic though.
It's around 75% in Germany. Guess when those fortunes were made.
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