this post was submitted on 02 Mar 2026
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


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[–] balderdash9@lemmy.zip 1 points 8 hours ago

Recession indicator

[–] Atlusb@lemmy.world 1 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I walked 9km today (a lot for me) and I would very much like a pizza, but I already ate too many pizzas so now I have to have anti-pizza (calorie deficit) before I can have small pizza one day again.

[–] SSUPII@sopuli.xyz 2 points 1 day ago (1 children)

You will have a nice, tasty pizza today.

[–] Atlusb@lemmy.world 1 points 1 day ago (1 children)

mushroom pizza

Your powers are correct I did.

[–] SSUPII@sopuli.xyz 1 points 13 hours ago

Looks fantastic! I love the borders too!

[–] jubilationtcornpone@sh.itjust.works 12 points 6 days ago (1 children)
[–] Slovene@feddit.nl 2 points 6 days ago (1 children)

How does that relate to Brians Cock? Did he play a character like that?

[–] Dozzi92@lemmy.world 2 points 6 days ago

I didn't watch Succession past an episode or two, but probably there.

Unrelated, his pocket square looks like a horse head.

[–] kamen@lemmy.world 6 points 6 days ago

Given that they now give out loans for people to buy pizza, that's a solid achievement.

[–] LynxIsInvicible@lemmy.world 5 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago)
  • I'm something years old
  • Didn't buy myself a pizza.
  • Not "parents."
  • Not "get lucky"
  • I set a goal and have yet to achieve it.
  • Some discipline, too much awareness, bad priorities
[–] vortexsurfer@lemmy.world 2 points 6 days ago

At my job we get like half of a pizza FOR FREE maybe once or twice a year. It's not a personal pizza, but still. Pretty crazy bonus.

[–] Krudler@lemmy.world 0 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago)

Cool, haven't seen this re-posted in over 18 hours, was starting to get worried I'd never see this hilarity again. Whew!

[–] blimthepixie@lemmy.dbzer0.com 127 points 1 week ago (2 children)
[–] tetris11@feddit.uk 3 points 6 days ago

Commitment. Patience. Psychokinetic ability.

[–] user224 30 points 1 week ago

There's always someone in the family who will name a better kid and keep comparing you, the inferior to all child.

[–] dan69@lemmy.world 57 points 1 week ago

Probably used klarna

[–] Snowclone@lemmy.world 57 points 1 week ago (4 children)

You'll never be a billionaire if you keep foolishly indulging in the luxury of eating and drinking. You'll also wasting time eating and expelling waste, you could have two or three other micro hustles to get ahead, you're only two or three centuries away from success!

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[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 39 points 1 week ago (8 children)

IDK why they have a personal pizza size. Technically, any size pizza I order for myself is a personal pizza.

[–] SSUPII@sopuli.xyz 3 points 6 days ago

Hell yeah! Same!

[–] sness@sh.itjust.works 2 points 6 days ago

Any pizza is a personal size pizza, if you try hard and believe in yourself. Any pizza is a family size pizza, if you're an orphan.

[–] rumba@lemmy.zip 9 points 1 week ago (2 children)

In my late 20's i'd order 2 stuffed-crust pep lovers and two large ceasar salads every friday night, then go raiding in warcraft. I lived alone.

Sometimes I'd eat half a pizza on friday, and one of the salads, sometimes a whole.

[–] Washedupcynic@lemmy.ca 3 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Are you my brother from another mother?

[–] rumba@lemmy.zip 2 points 6 days ago

Could be, could also just be humans of distinguished taste :)

[–] Cosmonauticus@lemmy.world 10 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

This just sounds like a good ass time and I miss being able to do this. Just replace WOW with Persona 5 and the pizza with a 6 pack and a bacon cheese burger from Parkway Deli

[–] rumba@lemmy.zip 1 points 6 days ago

At the time, I never thought I'd miss all that :)

Started a family, had a couple of kids, negative time left.

I think for a retirement, I just wanna be jacked in the matrix :)

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[–] Knock_Knock_Lemmy_In@lemmy.world 31 points 1 week ago (2 children)

I carry my own ketchup bottle.

Condimitment

[–] AffineConnection@lemmy.world 3 points 6 days ago (1 children)

That reminds me of how people used to carry around their own spoons everywhere.

[–] jtrek@startrek.website 1 points 6 days ago

I would be more than willing to carry around my own spoon, fork, and more, if it meant less plastic crap everywhere

[–] WanderingThoughts@europe.pub 13 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] dan69@lemmy.world 5 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Do you have mini Tabasco sauce to open that large Tabasco sauce?

[–] sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 5 days ago

Goddamnit if that isn't one of the best throwaway gags in the history of television.

[–] lath@lemmy.world 20 points 1 week ago (1 children)

How many monthly payments though?

[–] YiddishMcSquidish@lemmy.today 10 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] FosterMolasses@leminal.space 0 points 6 days ago

For an american pizza?? That's a bargain!

[–] humanamerican@lemmy.zip 16 points 1 week ago (3 children)

a personal pizza

My fellow American

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[–] NotASharkInAManSuit@lemmy.world 16 points 1 week ago

Any pizza is a personal pizza if you’re not afraid to live life.

[–] aeronmelon@lemmy.world 11 points 1 week ago (2 children)

This is weirdly wholesome.

Start small. Get yourself a pizza, and work up from there.

[–] BigDiction@lemmy.world 22 points 1 week ago (2 children)

It’s a good perspective. People get daunted by big goals like home ownership that are really just 20-60 thousand personal pizzas.

Depends on where you live. Where I'm at, single family homes are 25 pizzas per square foot.

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[–] MacaqueAndCheese@lemmy.ca 9 points 1 week ago (2 children)

All my dads told me about how I was conceived in a bowl of iced piss from a woman they only knew as "sugar cunt". I guess she was diabetic and liked to donate eggs in the most peculiar way.

So now whenever I ask who my mom is they just tell me she's a cummy bear.

[–] HumanOnEarth@lemmy.ca 10 points 1 week ago (2 children)

What the absolute forking fuck is this

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[–] sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com 9 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

I mean, setting realistic, achievable goals is a very good strategy and mindset.

Gotta build what you want, step by step.

... and also that looks like a pretty darn good pizza.

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