Shitty Shitty Bang Bang
this post was submitted on 08 Mar 2026
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I didn’t know the cybertruck was a Tesla/Oceangate collab.
Lol strong "I don't want buyer's regret" energy from this guy. Or maybe "I am way out of my league when evaluating how good something is" with perhaps a dash of "boots are delicious".
Like he literally mentions that he can hear water sloshing around in the frame somewhere but then immediately concludes that it'll probably go away on its own sometime in the future. I had a period in my life when I was like that. I consider it my "I had no fucking idea how naive I was or how things worked or how to take care of them" phase, and I was the last person anyone should have taken advice about anything from.
Finally, the one thing missing from our modern day sci-fi Star Trek future was a Self Destruct built in to all our vehicles!
💥😎💥
It is a metal coffin, and i don't know how mass media managed to ignore this for so long. The part on the electronics fried, the water inside the vehicle's parts and the bolts losening and unscrewing completely.
So, uh, the standard Toyota takoma did good in the water and in the snow immediately afterwards, uh.
I wouldn't trust any vehicle to be safe for wading unless it was explicitly designed from the outset for that purpose. There are offroad vehicles with snorkels, and double seals around everything like doors, electronics & batteries which are designed to go through deep water.
The cyberturd... not so much regardless of the lies Elon used to sell it. I would not be surprised if there is small print in the warranty which basically tells people to take a hike if they attempt to use it in the ways Elon has described.
Per the Cybertruck warranty:
"This New Vehicle Limited Warranty does not cover any vehicle damage or malfunction directly or indirectly caused by, due to, or resulting from...
... The environment or an act of God, including, but not limited to, exposure to sunlight, airborne chemicals, tree sap, animal or insect droppings, ... water, contamination, lightning and other environmental conditions"
So, if you get all bricked up in the car wash, you're now the proud owner of a $100,000 rust brick.
The only vehicle I would even chance driving after being fully submerged would be a 90s Hylux. Beyond that, nah, water damage is usually a death sentence for anything without protected electronics like an actual boat.
Likewise the only vehicle I would drive after being hit by a wrecking balls would be a 90s hylux
Okay so if you're going to buy a stupid ass truck that's for show, not for actually using for truck things...
Why not buy a Range Rover?
- Similarly expensive
- Last 2 generations (you know, the ones known for being luxury and looks above utility) have 90 CM wading depth.
- Actually luxurious
- Not any less reliable than a CyberDumpster (don't compare it to a Toyota though)
- Actually capable of off-roading, not that anyone's going to take one off road considering the sticker price.
I'm not going to include "does not support a nazi" here, that must be a con for cybertruck buyers.
Hey now, I know people that buy those types of vehicles and do take them off roading. Not like for sport, but take them up logging roads to hike and camp. Some people have money and like what they like, but aren't concerned with the squeaky clean image and don't mind it looking like it gets used.
Oh they definitely exist.
I have actually been considering the older L322 for myself. Light off roading like you describe, and towing, occasionally pulling people out of snow drifts.
I wouldn't do it with a new one though. To be fair, I also just wouldn't buy a new one, even if I could afford to. Too expensive for my taste and I don't like the looks or engine options anymore. I like 'em depreciated and do my own repairs to keep the costs reasonable.
This is the right call. New ain't worth the sticker price when it devalues the moment you drive it off the lot. This goes for all vehicles. Quality used is the way to go. Extra points for doing the work yourself. Always good to at least understand the machine you are using.
Oh it's been like that always for me. Newest car I ever got was 3 years old. Half the price depreciated away already, but minus some rock chips on the hood, it was completely mint. Would still be driving it if my ex hadn't gotten me into debt that made me get rid of it. But that was not in the Range Rover price range. Those I'd be looking at 14-15 years old, to get the last years of the L322 body type. Rustier than the L405 due to the steel body, but so god damn great looking.
I've done almost everything myself, including one engine replacement (admittedly with a bunch of help from my grandfather for that one, but I think the next one I could manage without him, since he's no longer available). More recently, I took apart the bottom end of my 6HP transmission that was no longer going into gear, dropped the mechatronic unit, replaced the sleeve seals, new filter and fluid, and it's started shifting better than when I got the car a bit less than a year ago. 200€ and a few days (I first opened it up without ordering the fluid or parts as I wanted to make sure there was no metal debris in the pan), versus several thousand for a professional transmission diagnosis and repair, on a car not worth several thousand.
I actually make an hourly rate that, if I worked full time (and there is plenty of work available if I wanted to), I could lease myself a brand new whatever as a company car, and at times it's tempting, but I do still enjoy getting my knuckles bloody and my clothes oily. No feeling quite like having a depreciated luxury car develop what would be a ridiculously expensive fault to repair at a dealer, getting it done for a tenth of the cost if not less, and going on that first test drive where everything works perfectly again. The freedom of not having a monthly payment to worry about and knowing that I can get by on 40-50 hours of billed work per month if I need to, is liberating after slaving away so my ex-wife could piss it all away as soon as I earned it.
Why not buy a Range Rover...because they never get stuck sitting in the service bay of the dealership 80% of the time you own them.
Why buy a shit burrito when you can buy a shit sandwich?
How many have you owned? Lol
If anyone still believes in this “truck” they are already lost.
Iranian D-Day is going to be...interesting.
Fucking "boat mode"? 😂
... Elon said he was gonna put monopropellant / cold gas thrusters from the Dragon capsule into the Roadster, at one point.
Musk said the production version will be revealed later this year ahead of the start of production in 2025 and that it will have the previously announced SpaceX package, which will use cold gas thrusters to help the car accelerate and also “fly”— or hover for short distances.
“I think it has a shot at being the most mind-blowing product demo of all time,” Musk said.
Its almost like this guy just fucking says shit, snd idiots believe him, for some reason, even though he's got a well established track record of lying about things that make basically no sense to lie about....
"I'm a world class Diablo player."
... as well as an entire solid decade of making grandiose business / product promises, and then delivering basically 1% of what he promised.
AutoPilot/Full Self Drive is totally real guys, it'll be perfect in a year or two... for a fucking decade.
Dude's blown up or otherwise destroyed about half as many heavy lift launch vehicles as the entire Apollo program, and so far hasn't even achieved orbit, much less with a payload, muchless tested the orbital refueling that his entire Starship system totally fails without.
Remember how we were gonna have rockets replace private jets?
Remember how the Boring company was gonna pay for itself by selling the dirt it dug up as bricks?
How's Hyperloop doing these days?
The rockets exploding is differen than the rest. It's literally rocket science and blowing up a bunch of test vehicles is kinda par for the course, and SpaceX has actually been pretty sucessful overall.
But that has zero to do with Musk.
Uh, no.
No rocket development program since the 1970s has blown up or lost as many rockets as Starship/HeavyBooster's development cycle has, proportional to how many rockets they built, flights they attempted.
And the entire fundamental design concept to be reliant on mass orbital fuel transfer, which has never been done, and will require a hell of a lot more development than drawings on napkins and CG renders... that's Elon's idea.
How many rockets has BlueOrigin lost?
Elon spent decades telling people he is an engineer.
When he roleplays as one, billions of dollars go up in smoke.
But that has zero to do with Musk.
Exactly. SpaceX has been successful despite Musk
Aside from every other stupid aspect of such a stupid idea, I'm curious where he thought people were going to be able to get hydrazine to refuel the thruster.
From your friendly neighbourhood hydrazine dealer of course. What, you don't have a hydrazine station next door? Are you some kind of a Poor or something?
Oh god that hadn't even occured to me.
Yeah... yeah.
I dunno, send it back to the dealer, have them do it lol?
I'm sure car mechanics will just be a-ok with handling hydrazine, rofl!
I can't even find barely any independent mechanic that'll touch a gas-electric hybrid, they're too 'complicated', apparently.
Shudup mah Tesla is self driving me to mars. I mean the mun…
Embrace extend extinguish. Hyperloop is doing fine, success achieved.
Wheres's that China vs US/California mass transit system map, change over last last two decades, map/meme thingy mabob when you need it...
The only "question" is why would you believe what Elon "promised" at any point?
Because way too many people think he's a genius because he is filthy rich.
Teslas can jump or maybe "fly" a short distance by 2016 according to Elon Musk. And no one is like: that boy might me lying
The best part of winter in Canada is seeing all these dumpster cars disappear when the real snow falls. Though I did spot one not that long ago:
That's an upgraded cybertruck.
The 'CyberPod'.
There's something tragic about Cybertruck owners, and it's nothing to do with Elon.
They seem to be wildly impressed by their vehicle doing the most mediocre things that any AWD vehicle can do.
I think that's the thing with cyber truck owners. They have the worst car imaginable, but it goes fast when they hit the accelerator and the sound system is excellent. Therefore it's the best car ever.
A cyber truck does not actually qualify as a truck. Their owners do, on the other hand, qualify as complete douche canoes.
Most pickup trucks in the US aren’t used as trucks, nor used off road. They are status symbols. The Cybertruck fits right into this category. It’s shiny and stands out of the crowd.
it's shiny
I mean, not really
I must be at another level of cynicism than you, because I want to replace 'tragic' with 'uproariously hilarious'.
They absolutely can't do the things other AWD vehicles can do, though. They get shown up regularly by cars that cost under 20k.
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